Obaa Yaa
Enough is enough
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been in a relationship with a young man for more than two years and things were initially going on well with us.
With time, our relationship started going bad and we seemed to disagree with each other on every little issue which should have ended normally without an objection from either of us.
Having observed things critically over the period, l have decided to break up the relationship with him to enable me to concentrate on my studies. I consider this decision very important this time.
Though it will be difficult to disclose my intention to him, l think enough is enough and lam eager to stick to my plans despite the consequences.
Now that l have decided to break up the relationship with him, new guys are also proposing to me.
Obaa Yaa, please l need your advice.
Delight, Takoradi.
Dear Delight,
I am delighted to read that you have attached great importance to your studies and that has informed your decision to sever links with this gentleman. The objective of enrolling in the university is to achieve an aim, so pursue this goal to the end.
Compatibility is the catchphrase in every relationship, and since this is missing, it is appropriate to do what is essential by severing relations with this guy. Can you imagine how your parents will feel when they get wind of your relationship with this guy?
There is one thing making a decision and another ensuring that the decision is carried out.
Disregard the numerous calls from other young men and remain resolute in your decision to stop the relationship which has given you the signal that it has no future.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
