Obaa Yaa
He is ungrateful despite my assistance
Dear Obaa Yaa,
l met my boyfriend five years ago after he had completed Senior High School and could not continue his education due to poverty.
Though a teenager, l had established myself in a lucrative business and was able to expand it to an appreciable height which enabled me to support him to continue his education.
I managed throughout the period until he had his first degree and did his National Service at Mankesim where l visited him a couple of times.
After the service, he opted to teach in a private school to while away the time. After two years, he was able to secure a job at Takoradi and had to move there.
Friends advised me to convince him to marry me but he pleaded that he would like to gather some money before taking that step.
Months followed and my boyfriend failed to visit home as he used to and prevented me from paying him visits with the excuse that his school had arranged series of weekend trips and extra lessons for the school children.
A good friend who knew of our friendship later told me that my lover was married with a child at his new location. Several attempts made to get him on phone to respond to my concerns and questions failed.
A few days ago, he informed me that he was no longer interested in me and that he was prepared to pay for the cost l had incurred in his education.
I was disturbed, cried for weeks unending and in the process fell sick for one month.
Please my heart is troubled about his behaviour and l am not thinking about the money l have spent to educate him. However, l am disappointed in him. What step should l take?
Comfort, Koforidua
Dear Comfort,
You must be commended highly for the effort you have made in educating your boyfriend who has turned out to become ungrateful.
It is, indeed, true that you must be having traumatic experiences and need a counselor to take you through series of lessons in order to calm the growing tension in you.
Though it is not easy to bear such a painful experience, you must try to overcome the pain this gentleman has caused you.
Put your trust in God and do not forget that He is the greatest provider, will help you out of this problem and reward you with a better husband.
God could be taking you from a serious problem in the future if this gentleman had married you.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
