Obaa Yaa
He is my dependable life partner
We started school from the kindergarten through to the Senior High School and held the greatest belief that we would end up as great academicians.
Even at this level, my friend was knowledgeable, experienced and very intelligent, a quality which enabled him to occupy the first position in class always.
With time, he decided to assist me to catch up in the subjects l was not good at and could hardly pass.
l regard him my mentor and he rightly deserves this accolade because he is principled, keeps to policies and always on fire to ensure that things are done the right way.
Unfortunately, during the process of teaching and helping me to understand some of the difficult topics, the unexpected happened when the two of us dropped our guard and l became pregnant.
Though he was initially disturbed when l disclosed to him that l had missed my period, he quickly picked up courage and consoled me that things would work out for good, despite the incident.
My parents did not hesitate to invite him when l disclosed to them the mess into which l had gotten myself.
I dropped out of school because of my situation and he was solidly behind me. The support l received from my parents and his, made me to go through this turbulent period without regrets.
The two of us agreed that he should continue his education in the university while l nurse our child after which l will also continue.
Keeping to our plans and with the help of God, l joined him in the university after l had weaned my child, and my mother took care of my child.
He completed successfully with a first-class and did his Masters after which he secured a good job in a reputable organisation.
Our parents advised us not to allow misfortunes to take the better part of us but study hard to become successful in the future. With his good example and able direction, l was able to complete my tertiary education and l am now teaching.
ObaaYaa, l would be glad if you could advise parents and the youth on the steps to take in the event of such cases.
Belinda, Accra.
Dear Belinda,
It is worthwhile and pleasing to note that you have turned a problem into success and this has given me the chance to offer words of encouragement to parents and the youth.
All those who played various parts in your life have done exceptionally well and must be commended.
In their quest to study together, the youth should refrain from sitting in enclosed places and be on their guard and stay away from amorous acts.
Though your husband meant well, the two of you were taken by events and the ensuing pregnancy. However, the two of you boldly confronted the challenge and played your respective roles, backed by your parents to calm the storm.
Parents should not instantly throw in the towel and get enraged if things do not work out well for their children. They should work around the clock and come out with alternative results to guarantee a better future for their children.
Irrespective of whatever happens, if the youth involved in the problem fail to take advice, then they should have themselves to blame.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
