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Customs officers find 52 snakes, lizards in man’s clothing

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Border authorities in the US recently discovered a man trying to enter the country with 52 live reptiles hidden under his clothes.

The man reportedly arrived at the San Ysidro border crossing with Mexico in February, driving a truck which customs officials pulled up for further inspection.

A personal search of the unnamed man yielded a slithery surprise. Border authorities discovered 52 live reptiles hidden in “the man’s jacket, pants pockets, and groin area.” The reptiles — including 43 horned lizards and nine snakes — were found concealed in small bags.

The man was arrested at the scene for smuggling live reptiles, while his vehicle and the animals were seized. He was later transported and booked into the Metropolitan Correctional Centre. — gulfnews.com

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I farted in bed

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I said to my wife “1-0”.

She farted and said “1 all”.

I farted and said “2-1”.

She farted and said “2 all”.

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I then had a wet fart which soiled the bed.

My wife said, “What was that?”

I said “Half time. Switch sides”.

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The drunk man

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A drunk man

A drunk man comes home late. His wife sees him and angrily exclaims, “Are you drunk again?!”

The man shakes his head and answers, “No, I am not drunk!”

“Okay, then prove it. There’s a clock over there. Can you tell the time?”

“Of course I can!” says the man.

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He turns toward the clock and screams, “Hey! I am not drunk!”

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