Obaa Yaa
My husband is lovely and caring
I had married for five years with two children and this gave me the false impression that things would sail smoothly into the future with my family.
Unfortunately, things turned upside down after l was delivered of my second child. As a nursing mother, l tried to calm the raging tension with the hope that things were going to change by playing a role for peace to prevail in the house.
But l had the shock of my life when my husband asked me to pack my belongings and leave the house with the two children who he claimed were not his.
Despite the intervention of my parents, my husband did not change his decision and l became traumatised.
With my meagre salary, l had to cater for my children, their education as well as my aged parents.
One day, the items l bought from the market poured on the ground and a gentleman who was standing by quickly assisted me to pick them. He bought a stronger polythene bag for me to carry my things.
Since then we became good friends and there was not a single day that he would not ask of me. He later requested to visit my parents after which he proposed to marry me.
One day, he decided to visit my parents after which he proposed to marry me. Though l have two children for which l thought my marriage to him would not be possible, he assured me that l should not worry because my children were his as well.
Since our marriage, he loves me and my children as though he is their biological father and this has made me to love him more and l now forgotten of my problems in my previous marriage.
I am surprised at the display of love from my new husband and l will continue to love him all the days of my life.
Cynthia, Tema.
Dear Cynthia,
Your case reminds me of the verse in the Bible which encourages us to be grateful to God no matter the circumstance. Count yourself very blessed for coming across such a lovely husband who has transferred the love he has for you to your children.
Having received this measure of love from your present husband, educate your children to reciprocate their love and respect for him. This is the only means they can sustain his love for your family.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.
My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day. I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise. He screams my name very loudly.
We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?
Adzo, Keta.
Dear Adzo,
What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.
Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.
The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.
A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.
At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.
This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.
Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 23 year old lady, a national service person, who have just been posted to a remote town in the Northern Region to serve as a supervisor for a health facility.
After a very long and tiring search, I got a room to rent at an affordable price. My landlord is a male, and for some time now, he has been coming over without my invitation.
He comes at odd times and very late in the evenings, with the excuse of checking on me. Sometimes, I could just be in my room; the door opens and there he is. I am so uncomfortable with this situation and I wish he could stop, but I do not know how to tell him.
I fear he might become offended. I don’t feel safe in my own space since I stepped foot into the compound. I need some privacy!
Juanita, Tamale.
Dear Juanita,
I can feel your discomfort and concern. It’s understandable that you’re feeling vulnerable in this situation. Your safety and privacy are important, and you have every right to set boundaries.
It is very essential to communicate your concerns clearly and respectfully to your landlord.
Consider writing a polite but firm note or having a calm conversation with your landlord, explaining how you appreciate his concern, but you’d prefer it if he could stop to inform you before visiting.
Remember, your safety and comfort are paramount. If you feel that the situation is becoming too much or you don’t feel safe, don’t hesitate to reach out to authorities or organisations to provide assistance.
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