Obaa Yaa
, ‘Protect your virginity, it is necessary’
Though our parents, guardians and some female teachers always urge us to preserve our virginity, live acceptable moral lives, concentrate on our studies, since that is the most essential thing for us to do, we often put death ears to such appeals and do what pleases us.
I obeyed this advice until l came into contact with a gentleman who initially behaved as though he had my interest at heart.
He bought dresses for me, half pieces of cloth and promised to sponsor my education to whichever level l desired to reach.
Unknown to me, this man was not genuinely seeking my interest but rather provided the opportunity to have an affair with me and l got pregnant to my surprise.
This development has soiled the trust my parents and loved ones had in me and was responsible for the bad relationship between me and my family.
With this bitter experience, l would like to advice the youth to listen to their parents, guardians and those placed in authority over them.
Since then, l have never been the same young lady who was surrounded with love and gifts showered on me.
This is my appeal to the youth.
Mary, Accra.
Dear Mary,
It is often said that experience is the best teacher, therefore, having gone through this problem has placed you in the right position to advice the youth. It will be ideal if they listen to you.
The most important thing is that you should not wait for the problem to arise before you think of resolving it.
Be guided by the adage that “a stitch in time, saves nine”.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
