Obaa Yaa
I’m scared my husband might do it again
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As we approach the festive season, I fear my husband might return to his days of alcoholism. He has battled alcoholism in the past, but with regular counselling and advice from friends and family, he managed to stop.
However, there are occasions when he slips back, which worries me because the last holiday didn’t end well for him. As Christmas approaches, I know the temptation to follow his friends around will be high, but I hope we can convince him to stay away from it.
— Dede Charity, Tema
Dear Dede,
A return to old habits can be challenging and emotionally draining—not just for the person struggling with addiction but also for loved ones. Your support during this critical time is very important.
Encourage him to take control of his recovery and provide consistent emotional support. At the same time, avoid enabling behaviours, such as covering for him or giving financial assistance that could be used to buy alcohol.
You might also consider setting clear boundaries and discussing coping strategies together, and involving trusted family or friends who can support him during the festive season. Remember, recovery is a shared effort, and your guidance can help him stay on track.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM a 32-year-old lady who got married two months ago. My husband had a female friend who was very supportive during our marriage.
I appreciate her care and support to my family but it seems she wants to try my patience. During our honeymoon, the lady kept calling my husband to check up on us and it was worse when we came back from honeymoon.
My husband’s attitude has changed drastically and sometimes I wonder if my husband knows I exist at all. I decided to have a talk with my husband about what was going on but he told me he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
My marriage is just two months but I already have regrets. Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Nana Ama, Nungua.
Dear Ama,
MY dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It feels like you are hurt and betrayed by your husband’s behaviour and the woman’s interference in your marriage.
You deserve to be respected and prioritised in your marriage. It’s not ideal for your husband to be giving all his attention to someone else, especially a best friend who is a female.
Talk to your husband again, calmly and clearly, about how you’re feeling. If he still doesn’t listen or respect your views on the matter, then you have to reevaluate the marriage and prioritise your own happiness.
As for the woman, she’s not your problem. Focus on your own relationship and don’t let her actions dictate your emotions. You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
