Obaa Yaa
I am a second wife and scared
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a second wife married in the customary way. The first wife often have misunderstandings with our husband.
Interestingly, I am also having multiple issues with him and I am worried.
According to my husband, the reason why she broke up with his first wife was because, she was a drunkard and a cheat.
Recently, I realised my husband has made a Will in the name of my children and didn’t include his ex-wife and children.
His lawyer, who is a family friend, disclosed this to his relative and they are angry.
His relatives advised my husband to suspend the Will and give part of the assets to them but he refused.
He only gave a plot of land to his ex-wife. But I’m afraid that when this man dies, his relatives will eject me from his house, because they like the first woman more than me.
Dede, Nkronza.
Dear Dede,
There should be a reason why the first wife of your husband became a drunkard. She needs your pity more than anything else.
However, how would your husband’s relative love a drunkard? It looks as if your husband’s ex-wife was maltreated or was not giving the needed attention.
If your husband makes a Will that has the seal of the law on it, it will make you more secured.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
