Obaa Yaa
Can I marry my late friend’s girlfriend?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lost a friend who was very dear to my heart. Before his death, he was in a serious relationship with a well cultured lady.
After this incident, the lady has been very close to me because of the consolation she derives from me.
Recently, I have developed a deep affection for her and I want to propose love to her and if possible marry her.
The reason is that, I don’t want her to end up in the arms of another man who would maltreat her.
But I have a feeling that people may criticise our relationship.
I don’t want to lose her.
Atsu, Keta.
Dear Atsu,
I HOPE you are not saying you want to be the caretaker of your late friend’s girlfriend. And who says she will fall into the wrong hands?
Well, society is such that people would surely criticise matters like this.
But if the man is no more, there should be no reason why another man cannot love or marry the girl, provided the new guy is not a brother or relative of the late friend.
In doing so, however, be careful you don’t later turn around to say that, after all she was your friend’s girlfriend so you want to quit. That would be something nobody will accept.
Think about this carefully. If I were you, I would avoid her and get another person.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
