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Which of you would like to die first?

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 If the above question is put on a wedding day just before the vows are made, it would be an interesting scenario.

This seemingly simple question could easily re­sult in the cancellation of the wedding. It can easily become the beginning of the end of the marriage since it has the potential of weakening the trust, which brought the parties together in the first place.

The reason for the po­tential confusion that this question of who would like to die first can bring, is that death is not something any sane person would gladly embrace.

It brings all your dreams to a sudden halt. It brings sadness and the very thought of it approaching brings fear into the hearts of many people.

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Therefore if a person you are about to marry, who supposedly loves you beyond measure can choose to be selfish and say that they would not want to die first in future when you are living as man and wife, then trust issues become an important factor.

Indeed I think this ques­tion ought to be included as part of the officiating rituals during weddings as a test of true love between the couple to be.

If your partner is willing to leave this world first be­fore you do, then clearly he or she really loves you and I believe this should be an appropriate test of love.

The question then arise as to which of the two people to be joined in holy matrimony, should the ques­tion of who would like to die first be put to? Should it be the man who must first be asked or should it be the woman?

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Given the generally accepted practice or saying that ‘ladies first’ then it is only fair that the question is first put to the woman. This is where it can get interest­ing.

I see a scenario where at this point the lady will politely ask the officiating Pastor to kindly ask the man first and the man also politely asking the Pastor to kindly ask the lady first.

This back and forth can easily generate tension even before the man and wom­an are joined together as married couple. Things that can bring separation or di­vorce are numerous and are usually very trivial things so people should be careful.

If you really love some­one, in my opinion, it should not be difficult to readily offer to be the one to first leave the world and leave your wife behind as a man.

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The decision to volun­tarily offer to be the one to first answer the question will depend certain factors in the relationship prior to the wedding.

If a lady demonstrate respect for her husband to be during courtship, then it will not be difficult for the man to readily respond that he will be willing to die first before his wife to be.

One of the things men in general expect in a relation­ship is respect being shown to them by their partners to be. There are several instances of weddings that had been called off due to the man or woman involved developing cold feet at the very last moment and decid­ing he or she was not going to go ahead with the wed­ding and so calls it off.

We must all acknowledge that death is part of human existence and therefore one day it will happen to us or our partners. If we psyche ourselves up adequately, then when it happens, as it inevitably will one day, it does not devastate us.

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The natural occurrence is for the elderly to go first but the reality is that that order is not always fol­lowed. I went to one of the posh cemeteries in Accra and saw the picture of a 14 year old boy as part of the structure erected on his tomb and I felt so sad.

If I who is not related to him felt sad, can you imag­ine what his parents had gone through and might still be going through on each anniversary of his birthday?

Whether young or old rich or poor, death can come suddenly so we ought to take note of this reality make a deliberate choice to live for Jesus Christ so we shall not miss Heaven because Hebrew 9:27 “…it is appointed unto men once to die… the judgement”.

By Laud Kissi-Mensah

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Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: when a cry for help is heard in a dustbin- Part 1

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“A woman who abandons her baby in a dustbin at Kasoa Lorry Station is not always a wicked woman. Sometimes, she is a wounded woman whose mind has broken, whose family has rejected her, and whose society has left her with only one terrible option: disappear or be disgraced.”

That is the hard truth Ghana must hear.

In the last 10 days alone, our nation has been confronted with the same painful headline, twice.

Case 1 – Kasoa Main Lorry Station, Central Region: A newborn baby girl was found abandoned inside a dustbin at the public toilet of the Kasoa Main Station. A woman who went to use the facility discovered the infant and raised an alarm. Commercial drivers and bystanders quickly retrieved the baby and rushed her to the Kasoa Polyclinic for emergency medical care.

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Case 2 – Asante Bekwai, Ashanti Region: On Thursday morning, August 20, 2026, a two-week-old neonate was reportedly abandoned by an unknown nursing mother at Bekwai in the Ashanti Region. Residents who came across the child raised the alarm. The baby was admitted to the Bekwai Government Hospital as police commenced investigations.

Let me be clear from the start: Newborn abandonment is wrong. It is dangerous. It is criminal. And it can kill. This article does not excuse it. But if we only arrest and shame, we will never stop it. We must treat the root, not just punish the fruit.

What exactly is newborn abandonment? – The two definitions

The Legal Definition: Under Ghana’s Criminal Offences Act, 1960 (Act 29), Section 96, and the Children’s Act, 1998 (Act 560), abandonment of a child under 12 years is a criminal offence. It is classified as exposure and abandonment, punishable as a misdemeanor or felony. The law sees the mother as a perpetrator.

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The Psychological definition: In clinical textbooks, newborn abandonment is defined as the intentional, permanent relinquishment of all parental rights, care, and responsibilities over an infant within the first 28 days of life without making formal, legal arrangements for care.

To understand this crisis properly, we must not confuse it with child abandonment. Newborn abandonment happens within 0-28 days of life, often driven by acute panic, denial of pregnancy, or postpartum psychosis where the attachment bond never formed. Child abandonment, on the other hand, involves toddlers to teenagers where a bond existed but collapsed over time due to chronic poverty, family breakdown, or parental burnout. One is an acute crisis of the first month; the other is a chronic breakdown over years. Both are harmful, but they need different interventions.

Psychologically, newborn abandonment is the ultimate rupture of the primary attachment bond. Think of a 19-year-old university student who secretly gives birth alone in her hostel room, wraps the crying baby in a polythene bag, and drops it at a refuse dump at midnight. That is not just a crime scene; it is a scene of extreme panic and psychological dissociation.

Why would a mother carry a baby for 9 months and then abandon it?

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This is the question every Ghanaian asks. If you wanted to abandon it, why not abort? The answer is deeply psychological:

1. The psychodynamics of denial of pregnancy: This is a profound defense mechanism, not a lie. The mother’s subconscious mind completely rejects the reality of the pregnancy. She does not gain weight normally, feels no kicks, does not seek antenatal care, and genuinely convinces herself she is not pregnant until sudden, shocking labour pains take her by surprise in a toilet or bedroom.

2. Fantasy of a dissolving problem: This is called cognitive avoidance. She believes “my boyfriend will come back,” “my mother will forgive me,” or “something miraculous will happen before birth.” So she waits, paralyzed, until the baby is here.

3. Barriers to safe abortion: Deep religious guilt, moral anxiety, fear of dying from a back-alley abortion, lack of money for a safe procedure, and family laws force her to carry to term even when she feels incapable.

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4. The shock of reality and acute panic: Upon delivery, the physical presence and crying of the newborn shatters all denial. Confronted with immediate exposure, shame, and reality, her brain enters a trauma response — “fight, flight, or freeze.” For many, it becomes “flight” — physically escape the threat of exposure to survive socially. That is why babies are left in places where others will find them -lorry stations, churches, hospitals.

Source:

Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.

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Environmental stewardship is an act of worship: The Islamic response to climate change, environmental degradation (Part 4)

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The environmental consequences of illegal mining have reached alarming levels in Ghana. Several major rivers, including the Pra, Ankobra, Offin, Birim and Tano, have experienced significant pollution from illegal mining activities, increasing the cost and complexity of water treatment while threatening the availability of potable water for millions of citizens (Water Resources Commission, 2024; Ghana Water Limited, 2024). These developments underscore the urgent need for stronger environmental governance and collective action.

Islam equally emphasises accountability in governance. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught that every leader is responsible for those under his or her authority (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 7138; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829). This principle extends to public officials entrusted with environmental regulation, traditional authorities responsible for communal lands, mining companies, local assemblies, and community leaders. Environmental protection cannot succeed
where accountability is absent.

At the same time, addressing galamsey requires more than law enforcement. Sustainable solutions must tackle the underlying socio-economic realities that drive individuals into illegal mining. Many young people are motivated by unemployment, poverty, and limited economic opportunities. Islamic principles of social justice therefore call for the creation of alternative livelihoods through sustainable agriculture, vocational training, responsible small-scale mining under strict environmental standards, entrepreneurship, and skills development. Environmental protection and economic empowerment should not be viewed as competing priorities but as complementary goals that promote human dignity and national development.

Faith communities also have an indispensable role to play. Mosques, churches, schools, traditional councils, and civil society organisations possess significant influence in shaping public attitudes and behaviours. Imams, in particular, should consistently remind congregations that wealth acquired through actions that destroy communities and Allah’s creation cannot be regarded as a blessing. Religious education should cultivate environmental ethics alongside spiritual devotion, reinforcing the understanding that protecting rivers, forests, and farmlands is an expression of gratitude to Allah and a fulfilment of the trust of Khalifah.

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Ultimately, the struggle against galamsey is more than a campaign to protect natural resources; it is a struggle to uphold justice, preserve human dignity, and honour the trust that Allah has placed upon humanity. Lasting solutions will require strong governance, responsible citizenship, sustainable economic opportunities, and renewed moral leadership. Only when these elements
work together can Ghana safeguard its natural heritage for present and future generations.

Water conservation, waste management and sustainable development: Practical expressions of Islamic stewardship

Religious education should cultivate environmental ethics alongside spiritual devotion, reinforcing the understanding that protecting rivers, forests, and farmlands is an expression of gratitude to Allah and a fulfilment of the trust of Khalifah.

Ultimately, the struggle against galamsey is more than a campaign to protect natural resources; it is a struggle to uphold justice, preserve human dignity, and honour the trust that Allah has placed upon humanity. Lasting solutions will require strong governance, responsible citizenship, sustainable economic opportunities, and renewed moral leadership. Only when these elements
work together can Ghana safeguard its natural heritage for present and future generations.

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Islam is not merely a religion that condemns environmental destruction; it also provides practical guidance for preserving and sustaining the natural world. Through its teachings on moderation, cleanliness, conservation, and responsible consumption, Islam cultivates an environmental ethic that remains remarkably relevant to contemporary challenges such as water scarcity, pollution, waste management, and climate change. These teachings encourage Muslims to become
responsible custodians of Allah’s creation in both private and public life.

Water conservation: A sacred responsibility

Water occupies a unique position in Islam as the source of life and an essential element of worship. Allah says, “And We made from water every living thing. Then will they not believe?” (Qur’an 21:30, Sahih International). This verse reminds believers that water is not merely an economic resource but a divine blessing upon which all living creatures depend. The importance of water is further reflected in Islamic acts of worship. Muslims perform ablution (wudu) before the five daily prayers and ritual bathing (ghusl) under prescribed circumstances.

Yet, despite its central role in purification, Islam strongly discourages wastefulness. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once advised one of his companions not to waste water while performing ablution, even when using water from a flowing river (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 425). This timeless guidance establishes the principle that abundance does not justify extravagance.
Conservation remains a religious obligation regardless of the apparent availability of natural resources.

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This Prophetic teaching carries profound implications for contemporary Ghana. Illegal mining has severely polluted many rivers, increasing the cost of water treatment and limiting access to safe drinking water for numerous communities. Climate change has also intensified seasonal variability in rainfall, placing additional pressure on freshwater resources (IPCC, 2023). Against this
backdrop, conserving water is no longer simply an environmental preference—it is a moral imperative grounded in Islamic teaching.

Water conservation should therefore become a shared responsibility among households, educational institutions, industries, and places of worship. Simple practices such as repairing leaking pipes, harvesting rainwater, protecting riverbanks, avoiding contamination of water bodies, and promoting efficient irrigation contribute to safeguarding one of Allah’s greatest blessings. Every effort to preserve water is an investment in public health, food security, and the
wellbeing of future generations.

Unfortunately, indiscriminate disposal of refuse remains a significant challenge in many communities. Plastic waste clogs drainage systems, contributes to flooding during the rainy season, pollutes rivers and beaches, and threatens marine ecosystems. Open burning of waste further degrades air quality and poses serious health risks, particularly for children and the elderly (UNEP,2024).

The author is Chief Imam of Katamanso Municipal and Certified Counsellor and Governnace Expert.

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