Features
Which of you would like to die first?
If the above question is put on a wedding day just before the vows are made, it would be an interesting scenario.
This seemingly simple question could easily result in the cancellation of the wedding. It can easily become the beginning of the end of the marriage since it has the potential of weakening the trust, which brought the parties together in the first place.
The reason for the potential confusion that this question of who would like to die first can bring, is that death is not something any sane person would gladly embrace.
It brings all your dreams to a sudden halt. It brings sadness and the very thought of it approaching brings fear into the hearts of many people.
Therefore if a person you are about to marry, who supposedly loves you beyond measure can choose to be selfish and say that they would not want to die first in future when you are living as man and wife, then trust issues become an important factor.
Indeed I think this question ought to be included as part of the officiating rituals during weddings as a test of true love between the couple to be.
If your partner is willing to leave this world first before you do, then clearly he or she really loves you and I believe this should be an appropriate test of love.
The question then arise as to which of the two people to be joined in holy matrimony, should the question of who would like to die first be put to? Should it be the man who must first be asked or should it be the woman?
Given the generally accepted practice or saying that ‘ladies first’ then it is only fair that the question is first put to the woman. This is where it can get interesting.
I see a scenario where at this point the lady will politely ask the officiating Pastor to kindly ask the man first and the man also politely asking the Pastor to kindly ask the lady first.
This back and forth can easily generate tension even before the man and woman are joined together as married couple. Things that can bring separation or divorce are numerous and are usually very trivial things so people should be careful.
If you really love someone, in my opinion, it should not be difficult to readily offer to be the one to first leave the world and leave your wife behind as a man.
The decision to voluntarily offer to be the one to first answer the question will depend certain factors in the relationship prior to the wedding.
If a lady demonstrate respect for her husband to be during courtship, then it will not be difficult for the man to readily respond that he will be willing to die first before his wife to be.
One of the things men in general expect in a relationship is respect being shown to them by their partners to be. There are several instances of weddings that had been called off due to the man or woman involved developing cold feet at the very last moment and deciding he or she was not going to go ahead with the wedding and so calls it off.
We must all acknowledge that death is part of human existence and therefore one day it will happen to us or our partners. If we psyche ourselves up adequately, then when it happens, as it inevitably will one day, it does not devastate us.
The natural occurrence is for the elderly to go first but the reality is that that order is not always followed. I went to one of the posh cemeteries in Accra and saw the picture of a 14 year old boy as part of the structure erected on his tomb and I felt so sad.
If I who is not related to him felt sad, can you imagine what his parents had gone through and might still be going through on each anniversary of his birthday?
Whether young or old rich or poor, death can come suddenly so we ought to take note of this reality make a deliberate choice to live for Jesus Christ so we shall not miss Heaven because Hebrew 9:27 “…it is appointed unto men once to die… the judgement”.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
In recent years, the term “female rage” has gained significant traction, symbolising a collective shift in how women’s emotions are perceived and addressed.
This phenomenon is not merely a fleeting trend but a profound movement rooted in centuries of systemic injustices, personal betrayals, and societal expectations.
As women increasingly reclaim their anger, it is imperative to understand the multifaceted nature of female rage, its causes, and its implications for individuals and society at large.
The historical context of female anger
Historically, women’s emotions have been subject to dismissal, ridicule, and pathologisation. The term “hysteria,” originating from the Greek word for uterus, was used to describe women’s emotional states as irrational and uncontrollable.
This legacy of silencing and shaming has contributed to a culture where women’s anger is often suppressed or stigmatised.
However, with the rise of feminist movements, women are challenging these narratives, asserting their right to express anger and demand change.
The anatomy of female rage
Female rage is not a monolith; it is a complex and multifaceted emotion driven by various factors, including:
1. Societal expectations: The pressure to conform to traditional roles of passivity, politeness, and emotional labour.
2. Gender inequality and pay gaps: Frustration stemming from systemic discrimination in the workplace and beyond.
3. Sexual harassment and abuse: Trauma and anger resulting from pervasive violence and objectification.
4. Emotional labour and burnout: The unsustainable burden of managing emotions and responsibilities in personal and professional spheres.
5. Hormonal fluctuations: The impact of hormonal changes on emotional states, often overlooked or dismissed.
The power of anger: Reclaiming female rage
Far from being a destructive force, female rage can be a catalyst for change. When acknowledged and channelled constructively, anger can drive advocacy, policy reform, and resistance against inequality.
The #MeToo movement, women’s marches, and increased representation in politics are testaments to the power of collective female anger.
Addressing the Stigma: Towards a more inclusive dialogue
To fully harness the potential of female rage, society must address the stigma surrounding women’s anger. This involves:
1. Validation and recognition: Acknowledging women’s emotions as legitimate and worthy of attention.
2. Creating safe spaces: Providing platforms for women to express anger without fear of backlash.
3. Education and awareness: Challenging stereotypes and promoting understanding of women’s experiences.
4. Support systems: Offering resources and support for women dealing with trauma and systemic injustices.
Conclusion
The age of female rage is a moment of profound transformation, where women’s anger is no longer silenced but celebrated as a force for justice.
By understanding the roots of female rage and addressing the societal structures that fuel it, we can move towards a more equitable and compassionate world.
The journey is complex, but the destination-a society where women’s emotions are respected and their voices are heard is worth the struggle.
References:
[1] Chemudupati, P. (2022). _The Rage of Women: A Historical Perspective_.
[2] Traister, R. (2018). _Good and Mad:
By Robert Ekow Grimond-Thompson
Features
From panic to pass: how parents, teachers can help children beat BECE, WASSCE exam phobia- Part 1
Walk through any Junior High or Senior High compound in Ghana as BECE or WASSCE approaches and you will see it.
A bright girl suddenly quiet. A boy who led class debates now sleeping at his desk. A Form three student with stomach pains every Monday morning.
This is not laziness. This is academic stress. When left unaddressed, it hardens into exam phobia-overwhelming dread that pushes children into burnout, avoidance, and sometimes silence.
As a mental health professional who sits with these children and their parents at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Adenta Oyarifa-Teiman, I see the pattern clearly.
Research confirms it. Putwain and Daly (2014) found that high test anxiety predicts lower grades independent of ability. Zeidner (1998) showed that chronic academic pressure raises cortisol, weakens memory recall, and increases school dropout risk. The brain under fear cannot retrieve what it studied.
Understanding the storm: What academic stress really looks like
Exam phobia is not just “being nervous.” It shows up as headaches before mocks, sudden anger when books are mentioned, night-time insomnia, or perfectionism that ends in blank scripts.
Some children over-study until 2 a.m. and forget everything by 9 a.m. Others avoid books completely, scrolling phones instead. Both are distress signals. Dr Kenneth Ginsburg, a paediatrician specialising in adolescent resilience, notes: “Stress is not the enemy; feeling alone with stress is.” Too many Ghanaian children feel alone with it.
The home front: How parents and couples become safe havens, not extra pressure
The first antidote is at home. Structure beats shouting. Set a predictable study slot-same time, same place, with water and a light snack. Then protect sleep like you protect school fees. A tired brain fails faster than an unprepared one. Use the “15-minute start rule”: “Just sit for 15 minutes. If you still can’t, we close and try after a walk.” Often, starting is the hardest part.
Couples must watch their language. “Don’t disgrace us” plants fear. Replace it with “We see your effort. What part feels hardest today?” Praise process, not only position: “You revised three topics and asked for help—that is maturity.” Research by Dweck (2006) confirms that process praise builds resilience while outcome praise increases anxiety.
For caregivers, check your own anxiety. Children borrow our nervous system. If BECE makes you panic, they will panic. One parent grounds—keeps meals, prayer, and bedtime steady. The other pivots—talks to teachers, adjusts timetables, arranges counselling. Both protect rest. An empty cup cannot pour calm.
Resources
– Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC): Award-winning Clinical Mental Health and Counselling Facility, accredited by the Ghana Psychology Council.
– School-Based Support: Speak to Guidance & Counselling units, or licensed school counsellors. E.g. Counsellor Blessing Offei – 0559850604 (School Counsellor).
– Contact CPAC for Parent Coaching/Counselling & Student Therapy: 055 985 0604 / 055 142 8486
