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Obaa Yaa

I want to go back to my ex

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My girlfriend and I were in a relationship for five years. We had a mis­understanding, leading to a three-month break.

The misunderstanding was as a result of me taking too much alcohol and not saving for the future.

I know she wants the best for me, but I thought she wanted to control my life and make it unbearable for me.

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This led to our break-up but I have regretted my ac­tions.

During the break-up, I got involved with another girl and unfortunately she became pregnant.

Even though I do not have any romantic feelings for her, her family is insisting I marry her.

On the other hand, my ex-girlfriend wants us to rec­oncile and get married.

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To be honest, I love my ex-girlfriend very much. Her family knows me well, and she was there for me when I travelled overseas.

What should I do?

Sena, Nyakrom

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Dear Sena,

Experience is indeed the mother of wisdom, and I am glad you have grown and learned from your mistakes.

I know you are currently back against the wall but my advice is to prioritise your girlfriend who is currently pregnant with your child.

Love can evolve over time, and I believe that in the coming days, you may develop romantic feelings for the new person in your life.

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It is advisable to have an honest conversation with your ex-girlfriend, explain your current situation to her and ensure she understands that you are now involved with someone else.

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Obaa Yaa

 I don’t like his dressing

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

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Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sis­ter is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

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The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send sig­nals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

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Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrass­ment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neigh­borhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

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Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

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Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a re­sponsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleep­ing around.

You can also report her be­haviour to your family head to talk to her.

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