Obaa Yaa
I am in love with a sex worker
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Am a 36-year-old man in a reputable institution and doing well in my endeavours.
On my way home one day, I met a 27- year- old beautiful lady who is a university student and sex worker.
I gave her a lift and since then I find it difficult to forget about this lady.
Since I have fallen in love with her, I asked her one day why she has decided to be a sex worker.
She explained that she is an orphan and has no one to cater for her so she does it for a living.
I am deeply in love with her. Should I marry her?
Albert, Cantonment.
Dear Albert,
Your case is a dicey one because falling in love is one thing and getting the right person to marry is another.
This is a fifty-fifty case because as a sex worker she might be exposed to many clients for which reason she might have developed an insatiable desire for sex at all times. Therefore when married, she will never be satisfied with sex and this will result in infidelity and related problems.
On the contrary, somebody who has been pushed into sex work because of necessity could change her behaviour when she obtains a stable source of livelihood.
If she will be truly repentant and become a changed person for good, then you will experience a successful marriage life.
Should you decide to marry her, then you ought to take your time and study her before you do so.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.