Obaa Yaa
My boyfriend loves another girl
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 17 years and in love with a 22- year- old boy. We have planned to marry in future.
Unfortunately, my dear one is in love with another lady who is a talkative person and responsible for every misunderstanding in the community. This lady is known for causing a stir in the area and has succeeded in bringing problems among families.
On many occasions, my lover had praised people who were frank to express their feelings and on the other hand said l was too quiet for his liking.
Though we move on very well, l have realised that he loves the other lady more than he loves me and from all indications he is likely to marry her instead of me.
I love him so much and l would like to be his wife. What can l do to win his love? I cannot stay without him.
Maame Esi,
Accra.
Dear Maame Esi,
Your letter contains a lot of information and warnings from which one can easily draw useful lessons.
In the first instance, you are too young to be saddled with marital issues. What you ought to do now is to concentrate on your education, try to secure a firm ground, attain the required age before you marry.
Your lover has informed you about the type of lady he loves. His revelation that you are too quiet for his liking is a clear signal that you are not in his good books and he could easily leave you for the other lady.
Irrespective of the fact that you have planned to marry and you still love him, you must get yourself ready for any eventualities.
Couple who love each other no matter their differences can stay together for a long time. However, where there are differences at the beginning of the relationship and preferences are made, then one must be careful and take a wise decision at the right time.
Though you love him and are prepared to marry him, he does not reciprocate the same measure of love for you, therefore, you cannot force him to love you. Don’t worry if he decides to end the relationship.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
