Obaa Yaa
How I wish I could predict the future
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been through thick and thin since I came across my love before I completed SHS. It was a smooth journey I must confess until I got pregnant with him and his behavior toward me changed.
I went the length and breadth of the world just to make my guy happy but I guess this guy took my leniency for my weakness. Truth be told, he was financially challenged so I decided to help him with the little I had, all this while my parents advised me not to date the guy but I never heeded their advice because I was deeply in love with him. My parents abandoned me after I got pregnant. I finally came to a realization that he was taking advantage of the love I have for him.
After all, the blames, and maltreatment, not to mention but a few I had admission into one of the renowned universities in the country and this guy warned me not to go or else he will break up with me and sack me from his home. I am now back against the wall and don’t know what to do. Should I forfeit going to school so that I can stay with him or go to school and then have no home on vacation since my parents have abandoned me?
Ewurabena, Manfe-Akropong, Eastern Region.
Dear Ewurabena,
It’s unfortunate that your parents have abandoned you, but I am very happy that you are considering to further your education. I advise that you get some elderly people who know your parents and let them lead you to apologise so that they can accept you and help you especially now that you are pregnant, your mother would be of immense help. You should not choose the gentleman over your parents especially when he exhibits such bad character traits. Be firm at this point in your life, go back to your parents, seek education and get your life on a right path.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
