Obaa Yaa

I’m stuck in between

Published

5 years ago

June 8, 2020

I am 28 years old and dating a 38-year-old woman. We started off well. The connection was great but as time went on, I realised she was a perfectionist and wanted to be right all the time.

She talks to old friends and sometimes flirts with them but becomes suspicious of any call I receive. She acts like she loves me but I once read a message on her phone where she described me as a ‘small boy” to another person.

My composure towards her has not been the same since I saw the message. Now I am in love with a younger lady who is my age mate but she is not as caring, loving and sexually active as the older woman I am seeing now. It feels like I am stuck in between. What should I do?

Worried Nana Yaw.

Dear Nana Yaw,

You shot yourself in the foot by reading messages on your sugar mummy’s mobile phone. It appears, from your narrative that you are in the relationship because of the sexual gratification you get from your “older woman”.

Examine your current relationship to determine if you really love your sugar mummy. If your responses are negative, you need to re-adjust and define the kind of relationship you want for yourself. Bear in mind that a healthy relationship goes beyond sexual gratification.

Walk out if you are not happy with your sugar mummy and pay more attention to your younger girlfriend and see where the road would lead both of you to.

Obaa Yaa

I am Torn Between Two Guys

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.

I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.

Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.

—Esinam, Legon

Dear Esinam,

When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.

Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?

You might also reflect on:

Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?

Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.

Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.

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Obaa Yaa

My grades are dropping

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.

It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.

The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.

This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.

This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.

Chelsea, Accra.

Dear Chelsea,

Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.

Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.

Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.

Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.

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