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80-year-old victim advises: Don’t endure abusive relationships for the sake of children

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Abuse in relationships must not be condoned

An 80-year-old divorced woman has advised people in abusive relationship not to use their children as “an excuse to continue the relationship”. 

“I often hear people say they have decided to endure because of their children but that is very wrong because if you die who would take care of the children you claim to be sacrificing for” she questioned. 

Sharing her experience as a victim of an abusive marriage, she said interestingly she was married to a church leader who was a good man in the eyes of the public so no one believed or would have believed that she was going through a bad situation. 

She said when it was time to leave she did not discuss it  with anyone apart from her adult children and this she considers as one of the best decisions she made even after decades. 

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“People were disappointed in me but I always asked myself who was being abused? It was me so why did I have to continue the relationship to please anyone? Thankfully, I still had my room in my late father’s house so I moved in and that was the end of the story” she disclosed. 

In an interview with The Spectator, the divorcee and retired dressmaker (pleading anonymity) said she felt obliged to advise victims of abusive relationships especially women because she found it heartbreaking to see innocent children being exposed to frequent abuse in the home which could affect them psychologically. 

” These children will not appreciate your so called sacrifice in future. They may not tell you how they feel but I bet you they would wish you had left. Violence is not good for children. It might make them become abusers in future, feel traumatised or  lose their confidence “she said.

The dressmaker said in her case, her ex husband was more verbally abusive and occasionally abused her physically but with time she felt she was not good enough as a woman because she had lost her confidence.

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The Octogenarian said it was worth noting that some men moved on after the death of the women they abused without giving it a second thought, therefore, making the actions of the victims who endured the abuse unreasonable.

“You should remember that anytime he hits you, you are compromising your life and gradually you could die and leave your poor children alone in this world, ” she said.

She said it was always better for a woman to quit a marriage or relationship for the sake of mental health and future of the children because abusive people hardly changed. 

She said she had heard people say they would have no place to go should they leave their partners and described such statement as lame excuse. 

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“You came from somewhere so there should be a place you could go back to. Even if your family and friends would not accept you, try moving into an uncompleted house or somewhere no one would be a threat to your life” she advised. 

The Divorcee said there were instances some women left their marriage to hustle and came back for their children when conditions improved to cater for them as single parents.

“Other times you have to leave with your children. Trust God to take care of you. Under no circumstance should you stay and die a needless death in a relationship”, she cautioned. 

She advised victims of abusive relationships “to always ensure they save some money to take care of themselves for days or weeks if they have to leave while they try to rebuild their lives”. 

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From Dzifa Tetteh Tay, Tema.

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Pass clearer property law for spouses …AWLA urges government

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Ms Effiba Amihere [middle] with some members of the Association after press conference Photo Okai Elizabeth.

A group of female lawyers known as the African Women Lawyers Association (AWLA) is calling on the Parliament of Ghana to urgently pass a comprehensive law on spousal property rights to eliminate ambiguity and ensure fairness in divorce settlements.

Among the rights proposed were a clearer definition of marital property, formal recognition of non-monetary contributions, stronger guidelines for judges, improved enforcement of court orders and expanded access to legal aid for vulnerable spouses.

This, the group underlined, would cure the inconsistent court rulings that continue to leave many divorced spouses, particularly women, trapped in uncertainty, injustice and often left with nothing or something insignificant after years of marriage.

Addressing journalists at a press briefing in Accra on Monday, the Executive Director of AWLA, Ms Effiba Amihere, said although the Supreme Court had over the years laid down important legal principles on the sharing of marital properties, conflicting judgments had created confusion and frustration for families seeking justice after divorce.

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She explained that while some rulings recognised marriage as an economic partnership where both financial and non-financial contributions should be valued equally, others demanded proof of direct monetary contributions before property could be shared fairly.

This contradiction in the law, she said, had left many spouses vulnerable, especially women whose years of unpaid domestic work often went unrecognised in courtrooms.

“There are women who spend decades building homes, raising children, supporting businesses and sacrificing careers, only to walk away from marriages with little or nothing because their contribution cannot be measured in cash,” she stressed.

She argued that certain rulings appeared to rely on irrelevant considerations such as a spouse’s appearance, lifestyle or level of financial independence instead of established legal principles.

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Ms Amihere, however, praised a landmark Supreme Court decision on July 17, 2025, which she described as a major step towards fairness and clarity in family law.

The ruling outlined important guidelines for courts in determining how marital properties should be shared after divorce and factors to be considered.

The ruling captured the duration of the marriage, the acquisition of property, financial contributions, pre-marital assets, debts, as well as non-financial contributions such as childcare, housekeeping, emotional support and domestic labour.

The judgment, she praised, was particularly significant because it openly acknowledged the economic value of unpaid domestic work, an area she said had long been ignored despite sustaining countless households across the country.

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She maintained that Ghanaian courts had already affirmed that marriage was a joint enterprise and that contribution should not be reduced to money alone.

The organisation also appealed to the Office of the Attorney General and Ministry of Justice, the Judiciary of Ghana and the Ghana Bar Association to support reforms aimed at protecting spouses and strengthening justice in family law cases.

By Esinam Jemima Kuatsinu

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Don’t leave children’s eye care solely to health professionals

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A child going through an eye screening
A child going through an eye screening

 Dr Zakarea Al-Hassan Balure, an Optometrist, has urged parents to take active responsibility for the eye health of their children instead of leaving it solely in the hands of health professionals.

He said good eyesight was essential for effective learning and overall child development, emphasising the need for parents to seek regular eye screening services for their children.

“Parents are always concerned about their children’s academic performance, but without good eyesight, learning becomes difficult. 

“It is important that parents seek regular eye screening services for their children at the health facility, and not to wait for free screening services, though they are also good,” he stated.

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Dr Balure, the Manager of Bliss Eye Care, a private eye clinic in Wa, made the call after a free eye screening exercise organised at Tanina in the Wa West District under the Blissful Sight for Kids (BS4Ks) Programme.

The programme, implemented by the Bliss Eye Care in partnership with Ghana Vision, a Swiss-based charity organisation, has, since its inception about a decade ago, impacted thousands of children in the Upper West region and beyond through free eye screening and treatment services.

The exercise in Tanina recorded improved attendance compared to patronage in the district in previous years, an indication of growing awareness among parents about the importance of child eye care.

A total of 684 children were screened during the exercise, out of which 42 were found to have normal eye conditions.

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However, 623 children were diagnosed with pathological eye conditions requiring medication, eleven had refractive errors requiring eyeglasses, while eight cases of cataract and glaucoma were also detected.

Dr Balure commended parents and guardians within the Tanina circuit for travelling far distances to access the service for their children.

He called for sustained awareness creation and community participation in eye health programmes to improve their children’s vision, which is necessary for improving educational outcomes and the well-being of children.

Speaking to the Ghana News Agency (GNA), Mr Mahama Abdul Fatawu Mwinibang, the Assembly Member for the Tanina Electoral Area, expressed gratitude to Bliss Eye Care and Ghana Vision for the intervention, as it helped bridge a critical healthcare access gap in the area.

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He, however, appealed to the organisers to consider including older persons in subsequent screening exercises.

He encouraged parents and guardians to maintain close relationships with their children to enable them detect eye-related problems early for treatment. –GNA

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