Obaa Yaa
Will you encourage marriage within same family?
I was betrothed to an influential man in my family who performed my marriage rites when l was a teenager. Though l was at the ceremony and nicely decorated with the best ornament, l did not understand the significance of what took place that day.
When l completed the university, l was not given a breathing space but asked to move into my husband’s house, although l was not mentally prepared for marriage.
I must admit that l was not enthused about getting married to this man but since my parents and the family head impressed upon me, l had no choice but to accept the offer.
Frankly, l am not happy in this marriage because our way of life and perception about issues are different. I have tried hard to tolerate his character but l think things are moving out of order.
This has generated frequent quarrels, l often lose my heart beat and this leaves me in total fear.
I am planning to leave the marriage to the displeasure of my parents.
Will l be taking the right step if l go ahead with my plan?
Abena, Koforidua.
Dear Abena,
Our elders treasured family marriages in order to protect their children from maltreatment, provide them with the love, security and help preserve their wealth.
Parents know the character of their children and the sort of spouse that will be suitable for them, hence the decision to arrange for family marriages.
Since parents conduct background checks of would-be spouses of their children, it is also believed that picking one of their own is better, and some successful marriages can attest to this special arrangement.
The uniqueness of God has brought about the differences in each person’s character and the way we do things and react to issues.
Unfortunately, some of these marriages do not work out well as one would have expected because the individuals did not get the opportunity to study each other before getting married.
Having tolerated him all these years, it will be ideal if you can cope with the differences since they are not life-threatening and live together, especially if there are children in the marriage.
But if things are not getting better, then you can inform your parents that you cannot bear it any longer.
Dear ObaaYaa,
I am 22 and she is 20. We have not grown to a marrying state. My problem is that anytime I see this lady, I feel nervous and try to use a different route.
Both of us are Christians and belong to one church. I have been together with many girls, but this strange thing has not happened to me before.
Meanwhile, I am a student, and it will take some time for me to complete my education and get a job before marriage, so I can take care of my children.
Should I be bold one day to tell her to wait for me till I complete my education and then get a job, or should I stop her from coming to visit me?
—PK, Suhum
Dear PK,
Sometimes, when people are in love, they get excited and nervous when their loved one approaches them. However, this feeling should not be permanent. This nervousness normally gives way to relaxation, comfort, and joy.
If this nervousness should persist, then it means there is a problem. If there is something about her character that makes you uncomfortable, then talk to her about it. If it’s something negative and she has the power to change, let her do so.
At the age of 20, I also think both of you are very young for marriage. Just take the relationship easy—no serious commitments and no sex.
Give priority to a good education and a good job. That is one of the pillars to a happy marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your column. I admire the extent to which you go to help get solutions to some of the problems readers present to you.
I have an interesting concern which I hope you can help address just as you do with relationship matters. This has to do with taxi drivers.
Obaa Yaa, all I want to know and understand is why taxi drivers always want to count their money during rides. I don’t know whether that is to show off to passengers what they have or not.
I believe they can sit comfortably in their cars and count their proceeds without any inconvenience or interference when they end their rides or reload their car. Interestingly, they sometimes do so about two or more times before reaching their respective destinations.
What makes it more fascinating is that I have asked over five taxi drivers why they always want to count their monies when driving. The answers I got amused me. After the laughter, they told me they came to meet the practice.
Obaa Yaa, can you please use your platform to get some answers for me or other passengers that may also have wondered about this practice?
—Sammy Tee, La Wireless
Dear Sammy Tee,
We appreciate your kind effort of reading and enjoying our stories. It’s quite funny and interesting to hear about this fascinating story involving some taxi drivers.
This practice has been ongoing since time immemorial, and I don’t believe it will change anytime soon. I have personally encountered such drama when I gave a taxi driver a huge amount for my change. He quickly brought out his sales and started shouting at me that he didn’t have smaller denominations.
In my opinion, taxi drivers count their monies to keep track of earnings and to give accurate change. Also, some taxi drivers usually deal with different denominations. Counting helps to separate notes and coins for easier transactions with the next group of passengers.
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