Obaa Yaa
Will you encourage marriage within same family?
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I was betrothed to an influential man in my family who performed my marriage rites when l was a teenager. Though l was at the ceremony and nicely decorated with the best ornament, l did not understand the significance of what took place that day.
When l completed the university, l was not given a breathing space but asked to move into my husband’s house, although l was not mentally prepared for marriage.
I must admit that l was not enthused about getting married to this man but since my parents and the family head impressed upon me, l had no choice but to accept the offer.
Frankly, l am not happy in this marriage because our way of life and perception about issues are different. I have tried hard to tolerate his character but l think things are moving out of order.
This has generated frequent quarrels, l often lose my heart beat and this leaves me in total fear.
I am planning to leave the marriage to the displeasure of my parents.
Will l be taking the right step if l go ahead with my plan?
Abena, Koforidua.
Dear Abena,
Our elders treasured family marriages in order to protect their children from maltreatment, provide them with the love, security and help preserve their wealth.
Parents know the character of their children and the sort of spouse that will be suitable for them, hence the decision to arrange for family marriages.
Since parents conduct background checks of would-be spouses of their children, it is also believed that picking one of their own is better, and some successful marriages can attest to this special arrangement.
The uniqueness of God has brought about the differences in each person’s character and the way we do things and react to issues.
Unfortunately, some of these marriages do not work out well as one would have expected because the individuals did not get the opportunity to study each other before getting married.
Having tolerated him all these years, it will be ideal if you can cope with the differences since they are not life-threatening and live together, especially if there are children in the marriage.
But if things are not getting better, then you can inform your parents that you cannot bear it any longer.
Obaa Yaa
Must a young worker always keep quiet?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I need your advice on something I have been experiencing at work. I am a young employee working in an organisation where most of the people in leadership positions are much older than me.
I respect their experience and authority, but sometimes I feel that being young means my opinions are automatically treated as less important.
There are situations where I have noticed problems with the way certain things are done. I have also had ideas that I believe could improve some of our processes. But whenever I try to raise them, I am sometimes told that I am too young to understand how things work.
Recently, I made a suggestion during a meeting, and instead of discussing the idea, my supervisor asked me how long I have been working in the organisation.
I understand that experience matters. Leadership also requires wisdom and maturity. But does being young mean we should remain silent until we become older?
What worries me most is that many young employees around me have good ideas but are afraid to speak. They fear being labelled disrespectful, difficult or rebellious. Some simply keep quiet and do what they are told, even when they know something could be done better.
Obaa Yaa, where should the balance be between respecting leadership and speaking up? Should young employees simply follow instructions, or should leaders create an environment where young workers can question, contribute and even challenge ideas respectfully?
Alfred, Amasaman.
Dear Alfred,
A young worker should respect experience and authority, but leadership should also judge ideas on their merit rather than the age of the person presenting them.
Being young does not mean you have nothing valuable to contribute. At the same time, being experienced does not mean an older person is always right. The workplace needs both experience and fresh ideas.
Your responsibility as a young employee is not to remain silent, but to learn how to speak in a way that demonstrates respect, professionalism and maturity.
When you identify a problem, avoid approaching your supervisor as though you have discovered a mistake they were too ignorant to notice. Instead, explain the issue respectfully and, where possible, present a practical solution.
That approach does not undermine authority. It demonstrates initiative.
And leaders should create room for young employees to contribute without making them feel that speaking up is an act of disrespect.
Don’t keep quiet just because you are young. Learn, listen, respect authority and speak up when you have something meaningful to contribute.
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Obaa Yaa
I hold a Master’s degree, but I can’t find a job
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I hold a Master’s degree from the Pentecost University, yet I am struggling to find a job.
For years, I believed pursing my Master’s degree could find me a better job but today, I have still not found one.
I have been applying for jobs almost every week. I have sent my curriculum vitae to different companies, attended interviews and even applied for positions that are not directly related to what I studied.
But the response is almost always the same, we need someone with experience. How am I supposed to get experience when nobody is willing to give me the first opportunity?
The most interesting thing is that some of my classmates are already employed, while others are travelling or in booming businesses. I don’t want to give up, but the constant rejection is becoming frustrating.
Obaa Yaa, what should a young graduate do when qualifications are not enough and experience is required before anyone gives you a chance?
Elorm, Ho.
Dear Elorm
If you already have a Master’s degree and still unemployed, the focus should not be positioning yourself for other opportunities.
Stop sending same CV, each tailored to a specific type of job. Your CV should highlight what you can do, not only the degrees you have.
Don’t wait for the perfect job. Take internships, short term contracts, research projects or volunteer positions that can give experience and contact while you continue searching.
Most importantly, don’t interpret unemployment to mean that your Master’s degree is useless. The problem may be the way your qualification is being presented, regarding the type of jobs you are targeting.
Also, you can start up something small as a side business to enable you get enough income.
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