Obaa Yaa
Will she change?
Dear Oba Yaa,
I have a child with a lady who is a teacher in one of the public institutions in Accra and we have been together for five years.
I love my girlfriend and I intend marrying her. But my worry is that I have never received a gift from her, not even on my birthday. She will remind me about a month to her own birthday so I get her a gift but when mine is due, I don’t even get a bar of chocolate.
She is always making demands but I get nothing in return. She will call me to send her as low as GH¢ 20.00 when our son needs money.
I sponsored her throughout her tertiary education until she graduated and got a job. I have plans of marrying her but judging from her current attitude, I am scared she would not be supportive when we get married. Should I go ahead, will she change?
Kobby, Adabraka.
Dear Kobby,
It seems your primary love language is receiving gifts. That is okay. But not receiving a gift from the lady you so much love is not enough grounds to call it quits. Draw her attention to the one-sided relationship when it comes to the exchange of gifts.
Discuss the essence of her lending support in the relationship and why she should not only be at the receiving end. Do not end it because you don’t receive anything on your birthday. But if your girlfriend has other negative attributes than positives which are unbearable, then you may advise yourself properly.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.
My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day. I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise. He screams my name very loudly.
We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?
Adzo, Keta.
Dear Adzo,
What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.
Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.
The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.
A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.
At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.
This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.
Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 23 year old lady, a national service person, who have just been posted to a remote town in the Northern Region to serve as a supervisor for a health facility.
After a very long and tiring search, I got a room to rent at an affordable price. My landlord is a male, and for some time now, he has been coming over without my invitation.
He comes at odd times and very late in the evenings, with the excuse of checking on me. Sometimes, I could just be in my room; the door opens and there he is. I am so uncomfortable with this situation and I wish he could stop, but I do not know how to tell him.
I fear he might become offended. I don’t feel safe in my own space since I stepped foot into the compound. I need some privacy!
Juanita, Tamale.
Dear Juanita,
I can feel your discomfort and concern. It’s understandable that you’re feeling vulnerable in this situation. Your safety and privacy are important, and you have every right to set boundaries.
It is very essential to communicate your concerns clearly and respectfully to your landlord.
Consider writing a polite but firm note or having a calm conversation with your landlord, explaining how you appreciate his concern, but you’d prefer it if he could stop to inform you before visiting.
Remember, your safety and comfort are paramount. If you feel that the situation is becoming too much or you don’t feel safe, don’t hesitate to reach out to authorities or organisations to provide assistance.
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