Obaa Yaa
Will she change?
Dear Oba Yaa,
I have a child with a lady who is a teacher in one of the public institutions in Accra and we have been together for five years.
I love my girlfriend and I intend marrying her. But my worry is that I have never received a gift from her, not even on my birthday. She will remind me about a month to her own birthday so I get her a gift but when mine is due, I don’t even get a bar of chocolate.
She is always making demands but I get nothing in return. She will call me to send her as low as GH¢ 20.00 when our son needs money.
I sponsored her throughout her tertiary education until she graduated and got a job. I have plans of marrying her but judging from her current attitude, I am scared she would not be supportive when we get married. Should I go ahead, will she change?
Kobby, Adabraka.
Dear Kobby,
It seems your primary love language is receiving gifts. That is okay. But not receiving a gift from the lady you so much love is not enough grounds to call it quits. Draw her attention to the one-sided relationship when it comes to the exchange of gifts.
Discuss the essence of her lending support in the relationship and why she should not only be at the receiving end. Do not end it because you don’t receive anything on your birthday. But if your girlfriend has other negative attributes than positives which are unbearable, then you may advise yourself properly.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
