Relationship
Why do you want to get married? – Part 4
A couple with their children
To understand the motives behind marriage, we have already examined reasons like the influence of age (I am growing old; therefore, I have to marry), societal pressures (My family, friends and society are putting pressure on me to marry), peer influence (My friends are all marrying; I’m the only one who is not yet married), the desire for a wedding ring (I need to wear a wedding ring too), marrying someone you have been with for an extended period of time, the belief that marriage will resolve relationship issues, and the desire to host a big wedding party.
Whether you are a loyal reader or just starting, let us continue with the reasons some people get married. These include (stated in their own words)
8. I have to marry to prove some people wrong.
Maybe several people in your life keep making you feel that un less you marry, you will not amount to much in life, or they will not regard you in high esteem. Probably, you have had a lot of naysayers attributing your being unmarried to character and behaviour flaws.
Many people keep telling you about how “the clock is ticking” and “you are not getting any younger”. Or maybe your parents and some family members got di vorced and you are determined to show the world that you are better than them. Or all your friends are married and you want to show them you are not just the spare tyre all the time. Whatever it is, getting married to prove something to someone—or yourself—is an aw ful reason to do it.
9. We have children together
First and foremost, as a Chris tian, you were supposed to get married before bearing children since sex outside of marriage is biblically considered as sin or sexual immorality. Nevertheless, once the mistake has already been made, it is of no use to beat your self down as if there is no hope of rectifying the wrongs.
In as much as I am all for saving the structure of the family unit; yet, staying together with someone you have not married simply for the children’s sake alone is not a good reason to stay or enter into an unhealthy marriage relationship. If you’re already experiencing con stant physical or emotional abuse in that relationship, going ahead to get married to that same partner can rather cause more harm than good to you and the children.
10. I think being married will make me happy
It is not automatic that when you marry, you will be happy. I am sure we have all seen so many peo ple who became worse after get ting married. That means to experience happiness and fulfillment in marriage, there is a lot you need to do to prepare and position yourself for that happiness.
Also, do not forget that mar riage is not all about you! Among other things, marriage involves the coming together of two mature people (a man and a woman) who have decided to live the rest of their lives together to fulfill their God-given assignment and destiny.
Even though you may be looking out for your happiness; you should not forget that whoever you get married to will also have to be ful filled and happy with you. And yet, you need to be happy by yourself before you can make someone else happy.
Therefore, my professional advice to you is: “Don’t wait to get married before you become happy and fulfilled. Happiness is possible while you are still unmarried.”
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV.COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
Author, Psychotherapist, Psychologist, Marriage Therapist & Reverend Minister
Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC)
Aries
You are a warrior by nature, try to balance out your own needs to ensure you do not give all of yourself to another. Give yourself some love, too!
Taurus
Do not fret, the secrets being hidden are not bad and are beneficial to your future. In fact, you will be super happy when they are revealed. Then, you can make strategic moves forward.
Gemini
Your friendship circle is evolving, allowing you to meet new people who will become your best buds over time. Embrace the rare chance to connect and engage with others you meet now.
Cancer
Home is where your heart is this week. And the more reason for you to start making yourself feel cozier in your space now. Treat yourself to a few new items to decorate and spruce up your pad to get in the spring spirit. Add fresh.
Leo
Lean into your higher mind and vibe. This will give you the ultimate opportunity to achieve personal fulfillment and spiritual growth over the next few months. Doing so will encourage you to reach new personal heights.
Virgo
Standing up for yourself takes a lot of guts and confidence. Luckily for you, you are able to assert your view against others and defend yourself against those who aim to bring you down.
Libra
Making your mark on the world is challenging, but you are headed in the right direction. As long as you accept that you need to be a leader rather than an innovator in your endeavours, you can take on your goals with success.
Scorpio
You are being introspective and plotting your next moves on and off this week. Take this time and energy to strategise the upcoming sunny days, so you can use them to your advantage and achieve your desires.
Sagittarius
It is time to get creative! This means busting out your drawing board, paintbrushes and colour palette to make art. Whether it is for professional endeavours or for pleasure, you will be inspired to bring your passions to light
Capricorn
Work is becoming very chaotic at the moment and requires all of your time, but you have the chance to balance out your vibe and not focus on professional endeavours. Find your chill spot and lean into self-care.
Aquarius
You are feeling extra chatty and more able to engage with friends. Word of advice: think before you speak to avoid conflict with others.
Pisces
This week gives you the chance to restart, reboot and get motivated to take on new opportunities. The question is: Are you ready now?
Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.
Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort.
The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing.
Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards.
Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding.
Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label.
Resource
• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486
Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.
WEBSITES:
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website
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