Obaa Yaa
Unpleasant day in my life
Dear ObaaYaa,
We fell in love through strange circumstances and since then the expression of love between us in the first few years has been lovely and attractive to hundreds of our admirers.
The two of us came to the realisation that we were for each other and nothing could separate us.
Though we were mates in the university and completed the same year, she was employed three months before l secureda job and things were moving on well with us.
With time, l discovered to my surprise a change in her character, as conversation between us was not as fluid as it used to be. She retorted to my comments and complained about steps that l took.
I was utterly surprised with the change of events and, therefore, sensed that the future looked bleak for the two of us.
Despite these disturbing challenges, l was shocked to the marrow when one evening she sent me a message that she was no longer interested in the relationship and for that matter we should end it there.
After reading the message l called her to find out whether she was the one who sent the message and she confirmed to me that she did. Since she failed to provide an answer, l suggested that we meet and trash out whatever the problem was but she demanded that l should give her time to think about it.
I did all l could but she would not change her mind. This was indeed an unpleasant day in my life. Since that day, l went through sleepless nights, but it later occurred to me that life must go on despite the challenges.
Since then the idea of getting a partner in life has eluded me.
What shall l do?
Kojo, Tema
Dear Kojo,
I would like to encourage you to be courageous, maintain your youthful exuberance and be optimistic in life.
You are not the first person to experience a failed relationship, having enjoyed the promises and assurances which pointed to a lovely marriage life. Additionally, you will definitely not be the last person to fall into such trouble so do not lose hope.
Be reminded that marriage thrives when genuine love is in place and the two lovers are compatible. Otherwise, whatever you do will not be successful.
Be grateful to God that you have identified your differences early for which reason she requested that you should break up the relationship.
This is the time for you to pick up the pieces and position yourself for your life partner who will love and understand all that you do. Be consoled with the words in scripture which says that we should be thankful to God in all circumstances.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.