Features
THESE CROOKS IN CASSOCK!
It’s been donkey’s years since I heard from you,
Araba my beloved sister. I’m told you’ve found
a sugar daddy in the big city, and he is oozing sweet
honey down your lips making you forget all about
me.
Anyway, life in the village has not changed much. I am writing you this quick letter before I dash down with Uncle Fiifi to the farm to tap palm-wine. But you need to advise him, my sister. Uncle Fiifi’s penchant for intoxication seems to have reached a crescendo pitch, and the earlier we helped him nip this habit in the bud the better.
Araba, there have been a few developments in our hamlet and its immediate environs that I find necessary to share with you. I won’t be taken aback if similar developments are rearing their ugly heads in the big city, since such craziness usually begins from there.
It’s now making sense to me why Paapa, while he was alive, constantly cautioned us against associating or worshiping with any of these ‘one man’ churches mushrooming all over the place. Sister, I used to think he was making mountains out of molehills, but events that have unfolded these past weeks have clearly vindicated him.
Araba, did you hear of one Pastor Korkorti this so-called man of God in our village who was busily shaving the pubic hairs out of the private parts of our wives and mothers? Eeii My sister
I couldn’t believe it! The man would bend low every now and then, stare inquiringly at their sensitive parts, and shave the jungles with surgical precision
To rub salt in old wound, Araba, this sorry apology of a priest was speaking gibberish – what he called a spiritual language – while subjecting our women to the height of all deceptions
Sister, it was both whimsical and incredulous to see those gullible women wriggle their waists and sing praises in ecstasy as he hoodwinked them. Araba, from the way the woman wriggled their waists while being shaved, only heaven knows what they would do with those same waists as they scurried to the pastor’s office one after the other after the service
There is something very wrong with the priesthood today, Araba. Everybody is now a pastor; and the emphasis is on money, money, and more money Young people drop out of school when they find academic work quite challenging, and the quickest escape for them is to establish churches and become pastors
When the going gets tough, you must become a pastor so you can take some offering
It’s such a pity, Araba.
I also find it mind-boggling why nearly all of them want to be called ‘prophets’, and the next moment you would hear that they have gone to consult Kwaku Bonsam for powers to perform miracles. Araba, it is quite ludicrous looking at some of the miracles they claim to perform: giving of lotto numbers, instant cash in your mobile money wallet or polythene bag, instant pregnancy, money doubling, power to scam and defraud white people online, Do As I Say, you name them.
Sister, these acts of satanism used to be the stock-in-trade of fetish priests and Juju men in times past.
But today, these magicians parading as pastors, have taken over the game And our radio and television stations, taking their fair share of these pastors’ ill-gotten booty, allot gargantuan time on air to these charlatans to display their tommyrot
Araba, I know and believe there are many good pastors out there: pastors whose preoccupation is to teach the truth of God’s word to their flocks, and also lead by example. But sister, the bad nuts are gradually sinking the ship, and it’s time to wake up before it got too late
I believe there must be freedom of worship and freedom of association, my sister, but we need to check constantly the activities of these charlatans and ensure that their modus operandi fall within the ambit of the law.
As much as it would be improper to infringe on their right to worship, it would also be dangerous and irresponsible on our part to turn a blind eye completely to their activities. Let’s remember, Araba, that our wives, mothers and daughters are among their congregations We cannot sit on the fence
Since ‘religion is the opium of the masses (according to Karl Marx), it is to be expected that men would always take recourse to religion to soothe their pains whenever life’s lances cut deep.
We cannot, therefore, blame poor church folk entirely for running to these conmen to seek remedies. The activities of those churches, I reiterate, ought to be regulated
Araba, many may have thought his move was quite harsh and draconian, but Rwandan President Paul Kagame, deserves tonnes of applause for his relentless effort in clamping down on some churches in Kigali. In that move, 700 churches and a mosque were closed down.
Araba, there was a new law the Kagame administration proposed that I find very interesting: all preachers were to have a theological degree before starting a church. I support this fully, and pray we consider and implement same here in GhanaSound theological training before opening a church would ensure that we have preachers who know what they are about
This whole craziness of pastors claiming to be angels who would soon be promoted to become Jesus Christ; this whole hogwash of preachers claiming to hold sacred meetings with holy angels by name Ayetefrim and Nimokafrim, this whole balderdash of supposed men of God instructing their congregants to drink petrol and eat grass as a form of spiritual direction, this whole tommyrot of so-called prophets of God instructing members of their congregations to perform oral sex on them in order to receive deliverance and blessing, would become a thing of the past when we require church leaders to meet modest standards
Araba, I read also from the news that in South Africa, two churches – Rabboni Ministries and End Time Disciples Ministries – posted images of their leaders feeding followers snakes and rats At that time, the man dubbed the ‘snake pastor’ by local media, Prophet Penuel Mnguni, said he was “doing God’s work and didn’t need to explain God’s ways to people.” Such bullcrap, Araba! That man’s head ought to be examined
Was he saying that it was God’s way for his followers to ingest snakes and rats?!
South Africa’s Commission for the Promotion and Protection of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities (CLR), which summoned 40 churches, said their wide-ranging sessions found that ‘commercialisation is definitely there… and abuse of people belief systems.’ It’s all about money, Araba, and the ways and means to extort it from unsuspecting followers.
The situation is not any different in Kenya, where President Uhuru Kenyatta, has called for the regulation of churches. He has pointed out that the move was aimed at stamping out bogus churches and church leaders, who he described as ‘thieves’ not ‘preachers’.
Araba, it has also become the norm for certain prophets (if really they are), to make predictions about every forthcoming event, claiming to have heard accurately from God, only for those events to produce outcomes completely opposite to their predictions! I know, however, my sister, that every word coming genuinely from God, never fails! And I know, Araba, that when a so-called prophet makes a prediction which fails to materialise, he never heard from God in the first place. His prophecy was only a figment of his own imagination or preference. Listen to what the Scripture says in Deuteronomy 18:22 – when a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the thing does not happen or come to pass, that is the thing which the Lord has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid of him.
Araba, I do not want to talk about those I prefer to call the ‘Death Prophets’. All they see is people who would be dying soon. Nothing more, nothing less! I am ‘sick and tired of being sick and tired’, my sister. Let me leave now to tap palm-wine with Uncle Fiifi. But we’ll be careful not to pass by Pastor Korkorti’s church. We’re not ready to have anyone shave our jungles! Just too many crooks in cassock!!
So long,
Kwaku Aidoo
Features
Farmers, fund and the mafia


The notion some people have about the Sikaman farmer can be amusing. It is the belief of some that immediately a struggling farmer manages to grab a loan, the first thing he does is to invite his abusua (kith and kin) home and abroad.
He organises a mini-festival using palm wine mixed with Guinness as the first course. There and then he announces that he is no longer a poor man; in effect he has ceased to be the close buddy of Mr John Poverty.
The ceremony will be consummated with singing and breakdance, a brief church service, drama and poetry recitals.
At least three bearded goats complete with moustache and four cockerels would be sacrificed in various recipes to celebrate the farmer’s broken alliance with poverty. Some would end up as fufu and light soup, grilled chicken, toasted mutton and smiling goat-head pepper soup. In short, the loan was well taken and well utilised.
The farmer’s prosperity begins right from the stomach. His idea is that if you don’t prosper in the stomach, there is no way you can prosper outside it.
Some farmer are ‘wiser’ though. When they get the loan, they promptly look for new wives. They can no longer continue enjoying one soup everyday like that. Variety is the spice of life! A new wife would bring new zest, new hope and heavenly glary into the farmer’s life. Most importantly the new wife would bring more action into his waist.
So the loan goes indirectly into promoting physical exercise for the human waist instead of the expansion of the farm, purchase of new equipment and improved seeds. Farmers of this nature are jokers, not farmers.
Is it probably because of these whimsical reasons that the banks are reluctant to grant loans to farmers? Obviously with the celebration of mini festivals and the installation of new wives, it is unlikely bank loans can ever be repaid. Of course, farmers who are more concerned about their libido can only be experts in re-scheduling loan payments and not in paying back loans.
Banks are very much concerned about getting their monies back with interest whenever they give out loans. So they demand collateral security as a requirement for the granting of loans. Some farmers actually don’t have anything they can put up as collateral except their hoes, cutlasses and wives. So they struggle through life, not going and not coming.
I do not blame the banks for not granting loans to those who cannot put up collateral. But what about those who are very serious farmers and can put up collateral. Should they also be denied?
Farming is seasonal and a farmer may need a loan only within a certain period to grow crops or breed birds. When the period elapses before the loans are granted, farmers are tempted to misapply the money because it lies idle. In fact, with idle money lying around, the farmer may be tempted to ‘purchase’ a new wife.
It goes without saying that farmers need money but for specific periods when the banks apparently do not take into consideration. Within three months in a year (main cropping season), a crop farmer must plant, nurture, harvest and sell. He applies for a loan and takes nine months or is not even granted. Meanwhile the money lies under his bed waiting to be enjoyed. Not all farmers are angels.
Now, If the government has seen and acknowledged the importance of farmers in national development and has instituted a Farmers’ Day which is a public holiday during which farmers are awarded, then government might as well also do something about funding for our serious farmers, at least the award winning ones to expand and grow since bank loans are not readily available.
Lama of Site 21, Tema, a man of great learning and of vision, has just been telling me that when a farmer gets an award, it means he knows his way about his job, is serious and diligent. According to him, most likely that such a person would also be investment-conscious and judicious in the use of his resources, and not interested in enstooling a new wife.
If government can set up a fund to assist, not with cash but by way of inputs, most of our farmers who have not had any assistance to propel themselves above sea level would be most thankful.
Interview a few award-winning farmers and they would tell you their palaver. The Overall Tema Municipal Farmer Mr Ellis Aferi and his wife Mrs Rosemary Aferi, began their Soka Farms Complex with ten fowls. The pig (a sow), was sent to a farm on a cart to be serviced and brought back breeding.
His piggery is now a real model of inspiration. “We started right from the scratch without any bank loan or financial assistance from any quarter. We placed our trust in labour, hard work and the advice of extension officers. Today we have a large piggery, poultry breeding house, mushroom and snail quarters, fishpond and beehives aside the rabbits we breed. All these without a penny from anywhere,” Mr Aferi told me just last week.
However, he bemoaned the current situation farmers are facing “We have exploited our creativity, our imagination and our muscles. There is a limit to productivity using only human labour and ingenuity. We now want to grow bigger but without funding there is little we can achieve in our bid to grow and develop.”
Mr Aferi like, his colleagues, uses about one ton of wheat bran to prepare feed for his birds, pigs, snails and fishes every week. When Food Complex was in operation, they had their wheat bran without problem. Today, there are mafia connections in the wheat bran trade.
According to all the livestock farmers I’ve spoken to, it is hard to get wheat bran from GAFCO or Irani Brothers directly. They allege that the companies prefer to sell to some wealthy women and top business-men who can buy wheat bran on conditional basis (that is together with flour and other products of the companies), than to farmers.
Then these women and businessmen through their agents resell the bran to the poor farmers at cut-throat prices. I don’t think the system is being fair to farmers. It is indeed a tragedy for the farmers who through their sweat and blood the nation is fed.
“We protest heart and soul,” one farmer yelled at me as if I was responsible for their plight. “How can I feed my birds and pigs satisfactorily if I cannot get wheat bran at the factory price? We disagree that because we are poor, things should be made difficult for us. The rich must not be allowed to exploit us like that.”
The proprietor of Soka Farms, Mr Aferi, for instance has risen from the discomfort of the dust and hardness of the earth to such an enviable height to be an award winner who now holds seminars for farmers, students and officials of organisations on his farm near the Ashiaman-Michel Camp barrier. He must be propped up, even if not with money with inputs on credit basis.
The government must think about setting up a special fund for such individual farmers to grow, while preventing them from cheats and those in the cloak of the mafia.
This article was first published on Saturday, September 21, 1996
Features
Mystery surrounding figure five
There seems to be something mysterious about the figure five or numbers ending in five. A few days ago I realised it was June 3, so I called my brother-in-law, to talk about his narrow escape from the disaster which occurred at circle in 2015.
It is a date that reminds the family each year of the goodness of the Lord every year since the incident. My brother-in-law had been standing and chatting with some friends at one of the shops that got burnt less than an hour before the incident happened.
Therefore for us as a family, we celebrate that day as a day of deliverance of one of us even as we sympathise with those who lost loved ones in that fire disaster. Later on after I finished talking to my brother-in-law and was reflecting on the incident and issues around it, another incident early on in that same year, came to mind.
The incident had to do with an air disaster in Europe and I began wondering if the number five in the figure 2015, had something to do with it.
Reports came through that a Lufthansa flight from Barcelona in Spain, flying to Germany, had disappeared from the radar around the Swiss Alps and that a search was being organised to try and locate it.
The result of the search established that the aircraft had crashed. What is even sad about this incident are the issues that led to its occurrence. Investigations conducted after the crash revealed that, it was deliberately caused.
It was revealed that, the pilot steeped out of the cockpit to go to the washroom. The co-pilot locked the door so no one could enter the cockpit without him opening it.
He then proceeded to set the aircraft on autopilot to crash the plane. When the Pilot realised that there was something wrong with the plane he rushed towards the cockpit, only to realise that it was locked.
He banged on the door to no avail. They tried contacting the co-pilot but he would not answer. Nothing in this world will be more painful than to see death coming and being helpless to prevent it. They could do nothing until the plane crashed.
A former girlfriend of the co-pilot revealed later to the investigators that he once told her that one day, he would do something that the world will forever remember his name. It came out later also, that he was told by his Doctor not to fly a plane again until his medical condition improves.
Apparently he had a mental problem but he kept it to himself and his employer never knew anything about his condition and he sadly killed high school students, about 60 from the same school, returning home from an educational tour in Spain.
This is one thing I have been praying against and I can imagine the grief of the parents of these students who tragically lost their lives.
In 2005, there was Hurricane Katrina which brought in its wake such a huge devastation in the United States. In that same year, an earthquake occurred in Kashmir resulting in over 86,000 people losing their lives, again note the last digit of the figure 2005.
I am therefore inclined to believe that we need to intensify prayer this year, 2025 to avert disaster. History has a way of repeating itself. Until I grew up, especially at the secondary school level, I wondered why we should study history and that apart from it being a reminder of dates on which certain events occurred, there was really no use for it.
I now know better that it is the basis for forecasting future events. Our teachers did not help us by not telling us the importance of history, maybe I would have become the National
By Laud Kissi-Mensah