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The vulture a patient bird

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The vulture descends from the great heights and clears up every mess

The vulture is not particularly handsome. Spotting a bald head from birth, it is not counted among the bold and the beautiful. But one thing people have come to know is that there is also some­thing good in being ugly. At least, in becoming a vulture, you can become rich and famous.

The Vulture whose surname is Akaga, incidentally has no Christian name. It presupposes that the vulture is not a religious character and has not undergone the ritual of the bap­tism of water and fire. The vulture is not born again.

CARCASS

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The vulture is, however, not shy of being a pagan. After all, it does more good to society than 90 per cent of Christians. Go to Alogboshie or Agbog­bloshie and you’ll see Kweku Vulture and Kwame Vulture cleaning the mess made by human beings.

Talk about smelling carcass de­composing innards, discarded and rotten fish no creature on earth wants to touch. The vulture descends from the great heights and clears up every mess human makes. If there are any environmental awards in Sikaman, they must go to the vulture.

It is very unfortunate the vulture which does more work than all AMA conservancy labourers put together, yet has not been honoured. The bird has to contend with the fact that it certainly would receive its reward but in heaven.

The only problem is that, it would have to repent and believe in the good news before getting the visa to heaven, which the vulture is not prepared to do now. Not when there is a dead rat to be attended to.

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Anyone who has studied the vulture will realise that it is a very patient bird. It waits patiently, painstakingly, enduringly for the sick animal to die. It can even be more magnanimous and allow it to rot be­fore making a meal of it. That kind of patience, no human being has.

Everyone is struggling tooth and nail to become rich overnight. Hard work is no longer a virtue. Stealing, embezzlements, fraud and ‘Sika Duro’ have become the order of the day.

These are the fast-track methods of making it in today’s world. Damn the consequences!

But if you go the ‘Sika Duro’ way, you might have to be turned into a vulture first to learn all about the virtues of patience. Turning into a vulture may not only be for ritualistic purposes. While engaging in vice, you must learn virtue.

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Even in getting ‘Sika Duro’ you need patience. And how best can anyone learn patience than becoming a vulture himself?

Following the publication of a front-page story in ‘The Spectator,’ Ghana’s top-rated weekly newspaper, that two ‘Sika Duro’ adventurists had turned into vultures, I have been under siege. It is as if I had written the story.

People have phoned me, ques­tioned me, and interrogated me as if I’m a criminal the story goes like this. Three friends who allegedly went in for juju money were turned into vultures, obviously to learn the noble art of patience. They were made to feed at a rubbish dump during the day and brought home at night to sleep, while rituals were performed.

PROCESS

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The final process was underway when there was a terrible mishap. The first vulture was transformed into a human. At this point, ritual materi­als get short and some needed to be procured.

The jujuman went to get the materials and got knocked down by a vehicle. He died instant. The two remaining vultures could therefore not regain their human form.

The only lucky one of the three had no choice but to return home to enjoy his wealth. But he had the shock of his life when he realised that his two vulture friends were fly­ing after the vehicle he boarded back home. His friends definitely came back along with him.

Now, when two vultures were alleged to have started hovering and perching at a spot hitherto free of the presence of vultures, people nat­urally became curious.

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COMPANY

I don’t know whether the place the vultures are said to be perching constantly in each other’s company, has now become a tourist attraction, earning Ghana some foreign ex­change. Cocoa is not fetching much.

But to anyone who questions me as to the veracity (truth) of the story, I refer the person to go and see if the vultures are at post. It is the pres­ence or absence of the vultures that can tell if the story is true or not.

Meanwhile, Sikaman Palava has been handed over information that other forms of ‘Sika Duro’ are becom­ing very popular. My investigations are on-going and soon ‘The Specta­tor’ will offer its numerous readers another front- page banner free-of-charge.

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Heard about those who are using their semen (better referred to as sperm) to get ‘Sika Duro’? They are building mansions but they have also become infertile.

They can have sex all right, but cannot impregnate a woman. Those who already have children are dis­qualified from acquiring that brand of juju money. What is the world coming to?

This article was first published on Saturday March 1, 2003

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MPs, churches, bad dressing 

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GHANA’S Parliament is a peaceful one. The arguments on the floor of the House can be fierce, but the House doesn’t catch fire. Ghana’s democracy has passed the acid-test of constitutional pluralism, and her legislature is a model of democratic beauty others are learning from.

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Sikaman Palava

Sometimes it is edifying following proceedings in Parliament and you are likely to catch the voice of Honourable Alban Bagbin in full flight. He doesn’t talk much. His English vocabulary does the talking.

Last week, I heard another MP talking on bad dressing, and I must congratulate him on his brilliant exhibition of vocabulary, delivered in Westminster tradition.

Such explosive delivery titillates the floor of the House and brings joy to members and Mr Speaker.

In the parliament of some countries, there is no need for such niceties. The floor of the House is regarded as a battle ground. Others, including lady members, see it as a boxing ring, where the spoken word is often jettisoned and supplanted with punches and upper-cuts.

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PART-TIME

So the average parliamentarian trains part-time as a boxer, in case boxing skills will be needed in the House to iron out knotty points.

The ladies’ pedicure and manicure are carefully designed to fulfil a dual purpose. One is to showcase trendiness and the other is to scratch the faces of opponents in the House whether they are ladies or gentlemen. 

Sometimes, the Speaker has to keep shouting and banging for well over 15 minutes as a recalcitrant MP dashes across and grabs the tie of another MP, thus precipitating a free-for-all brawl. Some MPs return home with a half nose, a missing left ear and a double forehead.

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None of the offending parties is sanctioned because brawling in parliament is seen as a democratic process, since some MPs are so stubborn that only a sidekick to the ribs can mellow them. Meanwhile, a free-for-all is good exercise for the MPs, some of whom have grown too fat due to over-feeding.

Fortunately, the parliament of Sikaman has a civil democratic culture and debates get fierce but punches are not unleashed. For comic relief however, MPs do some break dancing once in a while.

When ROPAB was passed into law, some MPs caused a stir by bursting into song and dance. Mr. Speaker was be wildered, but obviously pleased that his announcement of the passage of the bill had brought joy to the House.

Others were not happy, though. The bill and the debates had caused them enough distress. As for the passage, it was like cutting their throats. They groaned in their hearts. No punches, no karate. That is democracy in its maturing stage. It is tempered with reason and civility. One day, it will be their turn to laugh and dance.

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Now, the MP who spoke on bad dressing did a good job by all standards and added value to his delivery by going highfalutin. He wanted a law to be enacted against bad dressing, because it was not good for society.

What constitutes bad dressing? That is a very difficult question. Judging what is good or bad as far as dressing is concerned will obviously depend on the setting or context.

For example, going virtually naked on a holiday beach is considered good dressing. But when a man and his wife storm a church room in their birth-time suits (naked) the pastor and his deacons will surely take cover. It means a sartorial revolution has precipitated and only the Holy Spirit can hold tempers at bay.

STYLISH

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In the streets of Sikaman, a lady with a very short skirt is admired by some as trendy and stylish. Others would think she is indecent and a bad influence. But the question that arises ultimately is this: Don’t people have the right to wear what they want to wear, so long as the unseemly parts of their bodies are not laid bare?

Certainly, nobody will go totally naked in the streets, unless the person is either in-sane or is a Black Stars supporter painted in the national colours. Even then, he’d be in what is called ‘pioto,’ with his ‘instrument’ well-positioned. That is called proper dressing.

So in the streets, this kind of dressing will be considered good or bad depending on the setting and the extent of exposure of the private parts (breasts, thighs, lower back, buttocks, etc).

Personally, I feel the churches should be very scrupulous about the dressing of those who go in to worship. The ushers should be tasked with ushering away badly-dressed worshippers. Incidentally, they are the worshippers who like the front pews, and the pastor is so distracted he can’t preach any meaningful sermon.

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However, a law on dressing is something I won’t advocate, for the simple reason that, first, there is no clear definition of what is bad dressing and second, society must be left to evolve its own dress culture so that fashion and creativity in fashion design will not be stifle Any law to regulate dressing will kill such creativity.

This article was first published on Saturday July, 2006

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The body under siege: how long-term stress wears you down                                                          

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​Most people think stress is just in your head. When you feel overwhelmed, overworked, or emotionally drained, you might think you just need a good night’s sleep or a quick mental break.

​However, science and biology show us something entirely different. Chronic, long-term stress is not just an emotion—it is a full-body physical condition. When you live in a constant state of survival mode, pushing past your limits without real rest, your body pays a very heavy physical price.

​Here is a clear, step-by-step look at how ongoing stress physically breaks down the human body, explained simply.

Step 1: The endless flood of stress chemicals

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​What happens normally: When you face a sudden emergency, your body releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. They give you a quick burst of energy, speed up your heart, and help you react fast. This is a great survival tool for short bursts.

How stress breaks you down: If you never truly relax, your body never turns off that alarm. Your bloodstream stays flooded with cortisol and adrenaline day after day. Over time, having these chemicals constantly sloshing around acts like a slow poison. It damages your blood vessels, raises your blood pressure, messes with your metabolism, and even wears down your DNA, making you age faster.

Step 2: The silent internal fire (Chronic Inflammation)

What happens normally: When your brain senses danger or stress, it assumes you might get hurt, so it tells your immune system to cause inflammation (swelling and heat) to fight off germs and heal injuries.

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How stress breaks you down: When stress lasts for months or years, your immune system gets confused and leaves that “fire” burning permanently. Instead of healing an injury, this silent internal inflammation starts attacking your healthy cells, joints, and organs. Over time, it paves the way for serious health issues, heart trouble, and total body fatigue.

Step 3: Turning your muscles into armor (Fascial Hardening)

What happens normally: Your body is wrapped in a web of strong connective tissue called fascia that holds your muscles, bones, and organs together. When you face pressure or trauma, that tissue automatically tightens up to protect you like a suit of armor.

How stress breaks you down: If you stay tense for years, that tissue never softens back up. It freezes in place, creating tight, painful physical knots (often called emotional lesions). Blood and oxygen can’t flow easily through those locked-up areas, leaving you stiff, aching, and physically unable to truly let go of tension.

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Step 4: Burning out your body’s engine (Nervous System Overdrive)

What happens normally: Your nervous system has two main gears:

​The Gas Pedal (fight-or-flight mode for dealing with emergencies).

​The Brake Pedal (rest-and-digest mode for healing and repairing your body).

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How stress breaks you down: Chronic stress forces your foot down hard on the gas pedal 24/7. Your heart beats faster than it should, your digestion shuts down, and your body is denied the deep rest it needs to repair itself. Eventually, your heart and nervous system run completely out of fuel from sheer exhaustion.

Reclaiming your health and sovereignty

​Chronic stress wears you down slowly by keeping your body chemically toxic, inflamed, and locked-up in physical armour, and running on empty.

​By understanding that stress is a physical breakdown rather than just a bad mood, you can stop glorifying endless endurance. It allows you to recognise when your body is screaming for a reset, helping you shift away from burnout and back toward true physical calm, balance, and sovereignty.

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