Features
The Prophet (part 11)
Priscilla had gone away. She needed to pay an old debt, and the creditor had promised to visit violence on her whole family if she didn’t pay the GH¢700 by 8pm. Another woman was waiting in the other bedroom. He was about to join her when the voices started.
“You are here already?” Antubam said. “You deserted me completely as I went through the ordeal this morning.”
“Your own stubbornness got you into that situation. You must never approach those book people again. Do not get into any argument with them. Enjoy the money, the power and the women we have given you. You can never win.”
“And what about the man, Gidigidi.”
“The stick will give you all the protection you need. He talks a lot, and he likes fighting. But as you told him, he has no brains.”
“I need people to help me. The two girls were reliable, but they are gone. All the others are thieves.”
“They are thieves? And what are you? Remember that in the business you have chosen, there are many risks and dangers. We will try to help you. But you are very greedy’.
“The girl, Betty, told me that I will receive punishment sooner or later for deceiving people and for using the name of God. Is it true? Can you help me avoid this punishment?”
“Don’t worry about any punishment. Leave everything to us. We will give you all the protection you need. And by the way, the fetish priestess has made a request to Nana Kofi Broni to release you to her one day every month to keep her company.”
“That must be a very big joke. I will never, never again sleep with that old drunkard with rotten teeth. Never.’’
“She has already presented drinks at the shrine. If you don’t go, we are under instructions to fly you there by five o’clock and take you back home by six o’clock. If you don’t obey, your manhood will vanish and never return’.
“Have you people come to help me or torment me? Why can’t you find someone else to satisfy the old witch’s desires?”
“Next time you say such a thing again you will receive more lashes than you did last time. Start preparing for Sunday’s service. You are about to become the most popular prophet in Ghana.” The voices seized, and a strange silence seized the atmosphere.
Antubam was perplexed. What, he wondered, had he gotten himself into? He only wanted to grab that beautiful girl, Betty, marry her and have five or six beautiful children with her. But his desire for that girl seemed to have released a chain of confusing events.
Apart from the fiasco at the shrine for which he had to go and perform pacification rites at the shrine, he was compelled to have sex with that stinking old priestess. Her mirrors couldn’t bring up the image of Betty, yet she blackmailed him into having sex with her. And now the dwarfs want him to make that repulsive act a monthly ritual.
How annoying. But could he afford to lose his manhood? What would he do with the regular supply of two women a day? And how could he give birth to children? And what was he going to do with the threat from that fool of a competitor, Gidigidi? The stick provided by the Okomfo saved him on that occasion, but what would happen when he was eating, having a shower, or sleeping?
And now the dwarfs claim he was about to become one of the most popular prophets in Ghana. He was thrilled at the prospect. It meant more money, more power and control over people’s lives, and of course, more women. But at what cost? At the back of his mind, he felt an urge to go to Betty, confess everything to her, and ask her to help him start all over.
It was clear, Antubam thought, that a power far greater than Nana Kofi Broni was behind Betty. From their own mouths, the Okomfo, the stinking priestess and even the dwarfs had all indicated that Betty and her ‘book’ were too much for them.
But did it make sense to go to a girl you badly want to subdue and, having failed to achieve your aim, now go to her for help? How could a proud man like Kofi Antubam go through that? No, the cost of going to Betty was too high. He would continue to enjoy being a false prophet for now. Perhaps, if he got into trouble sometime in the future, he would go to her for help. But as for now, the show must go on.
Betty and Mary started work with Morrison Construction, and established a relationship that continued for many years. Completely satisfied with their honesty and hard work, Mr Morrison entrusted the acquisition and supply of materials in the Eastern Region to them, and concentrated on the other aspects of his work.
He paid for their admission to the University of Technology to undertake a sandwich programme in building construction, which they did online and on some weekends. They forgot about Antubam completely.
Kofi Antubam continued in the church business for many years. He became very popular for his miracles, and for several other things. On a few occasions police were called to the church premises to control his assistants who often exchanged blows over the sharing of money.
Quite a number of husbands confronted him for destroying their marriages, and he became known for raining insults on radio callers who asked him ‘stupid questions’. But he faced his main problem at home.
At first, he was only dealing with dwarfs who only spoke in shrill voices. But over time, all manner of creatures appeared before him, physically and during his sleep. On several occasions he tried to call or go to Betty, but the dwarfs restrained him. He sought solace in whisky and gin, and quietly hoped that Betty, or Mary, or Suzzie, would find a way to save him.
“That must be a very big joke. I will never, never again sleep with that old drunkard with rotten teeth. Never.’’
By Ekow de Heer
Features
Tears of Ghanaman, home and abroad
The typical native of Sikaman is by nature a hospitable creature, a social animal with a big heart, a soul full of the milk of earthly goodness, and a spirit too loving for its own comfort.
Ghanaman hosts a foreign pal and he spends a fortune to make him very happy and comfortable-good food, clean booze, excellent accommodation and a woman for the night.
Sometimes the pal leaves without saying a “thank you but Ghanaman is not offended. He’d host another idiot even more splendidly. His nature is warm, his spirit benevolent. That is the typical Ghanaian and no wonder that many African-Americans say, “If you haven’t visited Ghana. Then you’ve not come to Africa.
You can even enter the country without a passport and a visa and you’ll be welcomed with a pot of palm wine.
If Ghanaman wants to go abroad, especially to an European country or the United States, it is often after an ordeal.
He has to doze in a queue at dawn at the embassy for days and if he is lucky to get through to being interviewed, he is confronted by someone who claims he or she has the power of discerning truth from lie.
In short Ghanaman must undergo a lie-detector test and has to answer questions that are either nonsensical or have no relevance to the trip at hand. When Joseph Kwame Korkorti wanted a visa to an European country, the attache studied Korkorti’s nose for a while and pronounced judgment.
“The way I see you, you won’t return to Ghana if I allow you to go. Korkorti nearly dislocated her jaw; Kwasiasem akwaakwa. In any case what had Korkorti’s nose got to do with the trip?
If Ghanaman, after several attempts, manages to get the visa and lands in the whiteman’s land, he is seen as another monkey uptown, a new arrival of a degenerate ape coming to invade civilized society. He is sneered at, mocked at and avoided like a plague. Some landlords abroad will not hire their rooms to blacks because they feel their presence in itself is bad business.
When a Sikaman publisher landed overseas and was riding in a public bus, an urchin who had the impudence and notoriety of a dead cockroach told his colleagues he was sure the black man had a tail which he was hiding in his pair of trousers. He didn’t end there. He said he was in fact going to pull out the tail for everyone to see.
True to his word he went and put his hand into the backside of the bewildered publisher, intent on grabbing his imaginary tail and pulling it out. It took a lot of patience on the part of the publisher to avert murder. He practically pinned the white miscreant on the floor by the neck and only let go when others intervene. Next time too…
The way we treat our foreign guests in comparison with the way they treat us is polar contrasting-two disparate extremes, one totally incomparable to the other. They hound us for immigration papers, deport us for overstaying and skinheads either target homes to perpetrate mayhem or attack black immigrants to gratify their racial madness
When these same people come here we accept them even more hospitably than our own kin. They enter without visas, overstay, impregnate our women and run away.
About half of foreigners in this country do not have valid resident permits and was not a bother until recently when fire was put under the buttocks of the Immigration Service
In fact, until recently I never knew Sikaman had an Immigration Service. The problem is that although their staff look resplendent in their green outfit, you never really see them anywhere. You’d think they are hidden from the public eye.
The first time I saw a group of them walking somewhere, I nearly mistook them for some sixth-form going to the library. Their ladies are pretty though.
So after all, Sikaman has an Immigration Service which I hear is now alert 24 hours a day tracking down illegal aliens and making sure they bound the exit via Kotoka International. A pat on their shoulder.
I am glad the Interior Ministry has also realised that the country has been too slack about who goes out or comes into Sikaman.
Now the Ministry has warned foreigners not to take the country’s commitment to its obligations under the various conditions as a sign of weakness or a source for the abuse of her hospitality.
“Ghana will not tolerate any such abuse,” Nii Okaija Adamafio, the Interior Minister said, baring his teeth and twitching his little moustache. He was inaugurating the Ghana Refugee and Immigration Service Boards.
He said some foreigners come in as tourists, investors, consultants, skilled workers or refugees. Others come as ‘charlatans, adventurers or plain criminals. “
Yes, there are many criminals among them. Our courts have tried a good number of them for fraud and misconduct.
It is time we welcome only those who would come and invest or tour and go back peacefully and not those whose criminal intentions are well-hidden but get exposed in due course of time.
This article was first published on Saturday March 14, 1998
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Features
Decisions have consequences
In this world, it is always important to recognise that every action or decision taken, has consequences.
It can result in something good or bad, depending on the quality of the decision, that is, the factors that were taken into account in the decision making.
The problem with a bad decision is that, in some instances, there is no opportunity to correct the result even though you have regretted the decision, which resulted in the unpleasant outcome.
This is what a friend of mine refers to as having regretted an unregretable regret. After church last Sunday, I was watching a programme on TV and a young lady was sharing with the host, how a bad decision she took, had affected her life immensely and adversely.
She narrated how she met a Caucasian and she got married to him. The white man arranged for her to join him after the marriage and processes were initiated for her to join her husband in UK. It took a while for the requisite documentation to be procured and during this period, she took a decision that has haunted her till date.
According to her narration, she met a man, a Ghanaian, who she started dating, even though she was a married woman.
After a while her documents were ready and so she left to join her husband abroad without breaking off the unholy relationship with the man from Ghana.
After she got to UK, this man from Ghana, kept pressuring her to leave the white man and return to him in Ghana. The white man at some point became a bit suspicious and asked about who she has been talking on the phone with for long spells, and she lied to him that it was her cousin.
Then comes the shocker. After the man from Ghana had sweet talked her continuously for a while, she decided to leave her husband and return to Ghana after only three weeks abroad.
She said, she asked the guy to swear to her that he would take care of both her and her mother and the guy swore to take good care of her and her mother as well as rent a 3-bedroom flat for her. She then took the decision to leave her husband and return to Ghana.
She told her mum that she was returning to Ghana to marry the guy in Ghana. According to her, her mother vigorously disagreed with her decision and wept.
She further added that her mum told her brother and they told her that they were going to tell her husband about her intentions.
According to her, she threatened that if they called her husband to inform him, then she would commit suicide, an idea given to her by the boyfriend in Ghana.
Her mum and brother afraid of what she might do, agreed not to tell her husband. She then told her husband that she was returning to Ghana to attend her Grandmother’s funeral.
The husband could not understand why she wanted to go back to Ghana after only three weeks stay so she had to lie that in their tradition, grandchildren are required to be present when the grandmother dies and is to be buried.
She returned to Ghana; the flat turns into a chamber and hall accommodation, the promise to take care of her mother does not materialise and generally she ends up furnishing the accommodation herself. All the promises given her by her boyfriend, turned out to be just mere words.
A phone the husband gave her, she left behind in UK out of guilty conscience knowing she was never coming back to UK.
Through that phone and social media, the husband found out about his boyfriend and that was the end of her marriage.
Meanwhile, things have gone awry here in Ghana and she had regretted and at a point in her narration, was trying desperately to hold back tears. Decisions indeed have consequences.
NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
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