Features
Cocaine and human anatomy
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The Journey to London is not an easy one when you’re carrying a pot-belly.
And, if the pot-belly is a fake one, then the carrier must face indictment and explain why his protruding belly must not be properly examined to determine the degree of genuine cargo in it.
As it were, some pot-bellies have been carefully cultivated through regular beer quaffing, reinforced by the evil of indulging in khebab chomping. When you drink beer every day for five years, you are bound to lose your soul, and in its place will be a brewery installed in your belly. It is, however, an honour to have a brewery as a body-part.
And when you are going to London, the immigration officer can readily recognise your belly as one that has either a bubra-background, a star-origin or a club-destination. Immigration officers are now trained to prophesy.
The immigration man is generally interested in bellies, not for the sake of it, but because stomachs have become multi-functional these days.
Yes, the immigration officer is often curious why a belly well examined does not bear the tell-tale marks of beer addiction and yet, the belly carrier also doesn’t sound a likely host to refugee worms. So what is in the belly? Five months pregnancy?
SUSPICION
Normally, a suspicious immigration officer must be careful how he handles the belly of travelling men. With some men, their pot-bellies are their only treasure. So they tell you to handle with care!
“Don’t mess up with my belly, men!” a traveller would say. “Do you know how many goddamn years it took me to build this?”
Apart from belly size, immigration capos also use a bit of psychology. When a man comes by unduly agitated and wants to hurry small through, he is a likely candidate for close examination. His huge belly has no guilder antecedents! What he has inside is dangerous cargo- cocaine or heroin carefully packaged and swallowed.
If the plane doesn’t land quickly at Heathrow for the carrier to discharge, then an obituary becomes inevitable. The digestive juices in the belly and ensymes might be strong enough to digest the covering and leak out cocaine. Death is assured!
So the agitated traveller is chaperoned into a little side room and questioned. The officer would like to know whether there is any drug in his alimentary system.
“Nonsense!” the traveller would cry out. “I am a final year doctorate student in Law. To suggest that I’m a cocaine smuggler is an affront to my noble academic pursuits. It is blasphemous to the God I worship. I am going to see my lawyer to deal with you…”
LABOUR
When the man mellows down, he is given something small to drink to cool his heart. Sooner than expected he begins behaving like a woman in labour, He dis-charges pellets of cocaine, 60 or more.
So suddenly, a man studying for his doctorate in Jurisprudence at Oxford suddenly admits that he is a cocaine courier extraordinaire.
Sometime past, drug smuggling was at its real peak and cocaine seized on couriers suddenly turned into sugar when it came back from forensic examination. So you would wonder why any person in his right senses would either be stuffing his rectum with sugar packages or swallowing pellets of sugar.
Many drug barons were released because cocaine suddenly became granulated sugar, heroin became cocoa powder and various drugs miraculously assumed harm-less chemical formulae. Today, I do not think such miracles are still happening.
However, there are miracles as far as drug smuggling is concerned. First, the baby nappy method of the early 1980s is still in operation. A baby is carried with a wet napkin that immigration officers would not suspect contains coke. Sometimes it is not only wet, but the baby’s pooh-pooh also shows.
Now, the new trick is with snails, a delicacy that people need in Britain. They are stuffed with coke and exported. The yam formula has outlived its usefulness. So people have gone back to the late 1970 crude method of stuffing female genitals and taflatse rectums with coke.
This has necessitated the forcible examination of the orifices of the human anatomy in any event of suspicion.
Now if the stuff is not detected at Kotoka International Airport that might not be the end of the story. When the courier gets to Britain and he is or she starts dancing without being asked to, the immigration guys know that there’s “something in the soup.”
Fact is, every item or substance introduced into the human body must evict after some hours. That is why human waste doesn’t stay in there forever. It must exit compulsorily.
After flying for six hours the swallowed cargo in the belly starts to exit and it must be pushed back, a task that is well-nigh impossible under immigration scrutiny. So the courier becomes overly agitated and starts hissing like a snake. Soon he (or she) must start dancing, hoping that it would prevent the capsules from dropping out.
TRUTH
The African belly dancer is politely invited to enter into small room to free himself from further alimentary torment. That is the moment of truth.
There is no easy way to making money. With drugs, you could earn 30-years in jail. Saudi Arabia, you’ll be beheaded. In Singapore, you’ll be in for life just like in Thailand where Ghanaians are languishing today. Beware of drugs!
This article was first published
on Saturday August 6, 2005
Features
International character of Ghanaman and more

The average modern Gold Coaster born and bred in Sikaman is an adventurous creature. Go to any part of the world and you’ll find Ghanaman diligently slugging it out either in the snow or in hot sweltering weather, earning a decent living.
Go to Guinea and see Ghanaman in the garb of a herbalist, curing the sick of various ailments. He makes the Guinean understand that not all diseases are caused by James Lucifer alias Jimmy Satan. On the contrary, most diseases are caused by kooko which can even attack the human nose and turn it upside down.
That kooko is also the cause of poverty and the internal bleeding of personal back-pocket economies. And that kooko can be cured using the chemistry underlying Sikaman herbal medicine which has been blessed by the gods of Larteh.
And before Ghanaman starts dispensing his herbal concoctions, he must attract the passing crowd with some Sıkaman-originated choreography, akin to a combination of adowa and agbadza, such that the dancer can easily dislocate a shoulder and start crying for his mother.
When the crowd is enough to form a quorum, Ghanaman must perform magic as a side-attraction, and proceed to sell his drugs. The drugs are genuinely made from potent herbs which the Pharmacy Board of Sikaman says it has no confidence in. Believe me, Ghanaian herbalists are practising in neighbouring countries like Guinea, Cote d’Ivoire, Sierra Leone and Benin, while we are discouraging them from practising in Sikaman.
Go to Las Palmas and see Ghanaman as a fisherman. He sails on Korean-owned boats and is forced to eat garlic and raw tuna for radiant health. The garlic is also supposed to protect him against witches. But sometimes, he is not good bedfellows with some Korean crew members, and once in a while a fight breaks out.
The typical Korean is a Kung Fu expert and before displaying a golden dragon data. He must first terrify Ghanaman with a Korean dance which consists of wild arms and leg throwing. But Ghanaman is usually not daunted. Why has he been eating cancer kenkey all years without developing cancer? It mean is a superhuman capable of countering Kun fu side-kicks to the ribs.
Anyhow Ghanaman’s most potent arsenal lies in his fists. If he is a southpaw, it mean left fist is probably insured and can cause damage. When Ghanaman lands a cassava blow and it lands on a Korean chest, it has the effect of a cruise missile. If there is no ceasefire a funeral cannot be ruled out.
Greenland
Go to Alaska and find Ghanaman there. Greenland, Iceland, Brazil, Argentina, Madagascar, everywhere and you’ll find him. He has become an international citizen and is generally lauded for his hardwork, sincerity and honesty.
However, some bad nuts are also condemned and despised.
The world and all its parts and corners are for the human race, and anyone can choose to live anywhere and earn a decent living so long as he doesn’t misconduct himself or become a social misfit and a law unto himself.
Sıkaman for instance accepts foreigners, and we are so liberal that people just come in through our borders and we welcome them with the best palmwine in town and goat light soup. Who cares about passports and visas? Our hospitality is, as it were legendary.
So we have Liberians, Nigerians, Sierra Leoneans, Togolese, Europeans, Americans, Scandinavians and Koreans in Sikaman. And some of them have misinterpreted our overzealous accommodation to mean “foolishness” and are misconducting themselves.
The newspapers carry stories of some unscrupulous Nigerians stealing, defrauding and collaborating with their Sikaman counterparts to rob people. You’ll find some good and law-abiding Liberians around but some other Liberians are in the business of fraud, robbery, money printing, money doubling, anything criminal.
Ghanaian hospitality can no longer be extended to such people. I do not think Ghanaians will be treated kindly either, when they misbehave anywhere in the world. Those who come from outside with the intention of bringing down their evil deeds and to practise them here professionally must be getting ready because Ghanaians are getting fed up with the menace.
These days, you’ll find strange people following you as soon as you emerge from a bank. If you are not careful, they’ll wrestle your briefcase from you and speed away in a waiting taxi.
Someone was just saying that many foreign criminals are flocking to Ghana because in their countries, they are enable to operate either because they are being looked for by the police for offences committed or fear instant justice at the hands of mobs. Ghanaians, it is said, are humanitarian in dealing with criminals.
Well, in some African countries, a thief who is being chased runs directly to the police station in his own interest and begs the officer at the counter to lock him up. Otherwise he’ll be lynched or be burnt to death. In Ghana, it is the opposite. The thieves run far away from the cop stations.
The criminals must reform and stay peacefully in Sikaman or quit. No court case!
This article was first published on Saturday September 5, 1998
Features
The architecture of existence: How we live and die
The human condition is defined by two absolute, biological bookends: the commencement of complex cellular animation and its ultimate, irreversible cessation.
For centuries, medicine treated life and death as strictly separate states. Today, modern pathology and molecular biology reveal a more profound truth: the mechanisms that allow us to live are the exact same mechanisms that dictate how we die.
Understanding this relationship is no longer just a philosophical pursuit. It is a clinical necessity for managing public health in the 21st century.
Part I: How we live – The mechanics of animation
At its core, biological life is a continuous, high-stakes battle against entropy (the natural tendency of systems to degrade into disorder). To maintain form, consciousness, and function, the human body relies on three fundamental pillars:
1. Cellular respiration and energy production
Every second of human life is powered by the conversion of oxygen and glucose into Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP), the universal energy currency of our cells. This process occurs within the mitochondria.
Without a constant supply of ATP, the microscopic pumps that maintain electrical gradients across our cell membranes fail, causing cellular collapse within minutes.
2. Homeostasis: The balancing act
To survive, the internal environment of the body must remain incredibly stable, regardless of external chaos. This balancing act, known as homeostasis, regulates:
Blood pH: Strictly maintained between 7.35 and 7.45.
Core Temperature: Ideally kept around 37°C (98.6°F).
Electrolyte Balance: Precise ratios of sodium, potassium, and calcium that allow nerves to fire and muscles to contract.
3. The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS)
The ANS acts as the invisible conductor of life, split into two complementary branches:
Part II: How we die – The path of cessation
Death is rarely a singular event; it is a progressive biological cascade. Whether caused by old age, chronic illness, or sudden trauma, the final pathways of mortality generally follow a predictable trajectory.
1. The cellular horizon: Senescence and Apoptosis
Every time a human cell divides, the protective caps at the ends of its chromosomes-telomeres-shorten. Eventually, telomeres become so depleted that the cell can no longer divide safely. It enters senescence (a state of permanent arrest) or triggers apoptosis (programmed cell death). This gradual, systemic loss of cellular renewal is the underlying engine of aging.
2. The clinical cascade of somatic death
When the body can no longer maintain homeostasis, somatic death (the death of the organism as a whole) begins. This occurs in a distinct sequence:
1
Clinical Death
Zero to four minutes
The heart stops pumping blood, and respiration ceases. While breathing and circulation have ended, the body’s tissues still contain residual oxygen and cellular energy reserves. At this stage, resuscitation is often still possible.
2
Brain Death (Infarction)
Four to six minutes
Deprived of fresh oxygenated blood, the brain’s highly sensitive neurons begin to starve. Lacking ATP, the brain cells lose their electrical charge, swell, and begin to burst. Permanent, irreversible neurological damage occurs within minutes.
3
Biological Death
Hours to days
The organs fail entirely. Without central control or blood flow, individual cells throughout the body consume their final energy reserves. Enzymes that once aided digestion begin to break down the body’s own tissues from the inside out, a process known as autolysis.
Part III: The modern collision of life and death
In the modern era, the boundary between how we live and how we die has blurred. Historically, humanity died primarily from infectious diseases and acute trauma. Today, global mortality is dominated by non-communicable, chronic lifestyle diseases.
Modern Pathology: How we live (the cause) how we die (the result)
Cardiovascular disease, chronic stress, poor diet, and lack of sleep keep the sympathetic nervous system hyper-activated, damaging blood vessels .Occlusion of coronary arteries leads to myocardial infarction (heart attack) or ischemic stroke.
Metabolic syndrome over nutrition and physical inactivity overwhelm cellular mitochondria, leading to systemic insulin resistance. Multi-organ failure, chronic kidney disease, and severe vascular complications.
Neurodegenerative Disorders Chronic systemic inflammation and sleep deprivation prevent the brain from clearing metabolic waste. Gradual loss of synaptic connections, leading to dementia and the eventual loss of basic autonomic functions.
Conclusion: The unified theory of health
Ultimately, how we live directly shapes the path of how we die. The micro-choices of daily existence-how we manage emotional stress, the quality of our rest, our communal connections, and our nutrition-either preserve the integrity of our homeostatic systems or accelerate their decline.
True medical advancement is shifting away from merely extending the final, frail stages of biological death. Instead, the focus is turning toward optimising our living years-ensuring that the intricate, beautiful machinery of human animation runs smoothly until its natural, quiet conclusion.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson








