Features
The poisons in the pot (Pt. 2)
Umofians, wake up! There is fire on the mountain ooo! Umofians, wake up! Wake up! Wake up and open your ears wide. Listen up! Today, the tale-bearer is not here to play at all!
They say when the roof is on fire, even the lazy man will fetch water. Eii! Eii! Eii! I did not come here to joke ooo! Open your ears and listen well! When the drumbeat changes, even the dancer’s waist must shake differently!
What’s that rumbling in the skies above the great baobab tree? 62 million?? Eii? Eii! 81,000 ghosts feasting, chopping our money “nyafu nyafu” like a buffet for the invisible! Eii!
No bodies, no addresses, but their bank accounts dey flex! 62 million cedis puff! Vanished like Ghana jollof at a funeral. Meanwhile, the average Umofian is out here fighting over one ball of kenkey ooo!
Ahhh, it hurts me ooo! Schoolchildren less than 15 years are carrying their siblings on their backs like mini- Uber services, balancing on rotten planks just to cross streams to get to school. Classrooms have no chairs, but ghosts are out here living large on imported sofas at home. Hospitals have no medicine yet ghost workers? Ah! Their health insurance is working overtime! And the roads? Even donkeys are applying for chiropractic treatment! Asaase Yaa, your children are Indeed suffering.
You see, our elders say that a man who steals a drum must be ready for people to dance to his shame! Ahh!
But what do we see in Umofia land today? Instead of the Ghost Association of Umofia sweating over the scandals shaking in their shadows like faulty trotros, they are busy hunting down the town rooster forgetting that “he who crows at dawn is not the one who stole the sun”! Imagine ooo! The house is on fire, yet they are chasing the person who shouted, “Fire!” The impudence of a dying cockroach.
Umofians, this is not the time to sleep! The pot is poisoned, and the feast of the ghosts is devouring the future. If you do not rise now, what will you tell your children? That you stood by and watched while ghosts feasted on their tomorrow? Eii! Eii! Eii! Umofians open our eyes, stand together, and demand accountability. The drumbeat has changed, and it is time to dance differently!
Eii, do I hear $500,000 in the winds? Hmmm, the winds are howling, and as the elders say, “When the elephants stumble, it’s the grass that pays the price ooo. But the elephants are not stumbling in struggle, no! They are feasting on the land while the grass is left with nothing but dust and empty promises.”
Can we now lean on the umbrella for shade? Ah well! Such is the game of the powerful in Umofia land. But remember ooo, one day the gavels of justice will spin.
Until next time!
With Eyram,
the Tale Bearer
THE typical itinerant salesman in Sikaman is a herbalist. He is normally a slim macho with the capacity to perambulate the expanse of area covering the triangle of Accra-Tema-Ashiaman. In short, he can walk a total of 60 miles a day, marketing a product that cures every disease, including poverty. 
The door-to-door herbal pharmacist advertises his product by word of mouth. He has nothing to do with the Food and Drugs Board (FDB). After all, his concoctions do not feature on FM stations.
Those herbalists who cannot walk to propagate the herbal gospel, liaise with drivers of mass transportation and their mates. They are, therefore, given the chance to sell their products on Benz buses that ply the routes.
Normally, the herbalist starts his sales message with a prayer and Bible study. He asks the passengers to bow down their heads in supplication to God the father, the son, the Holy Spirit.
When a herbalist asks the passengers to close their eyes and bow their heads, Moslems on board naturally feel offended. They feel that the herbalist has no right to assume that every passenger is a Christian. They think such an assumption is an affront to Islam.
So a Moslem on board will raise the hand for a point of order. He’ll remind the herbalist that it would be in his own interest to mind his language.
“Be careful the way you address people in a public place. Not every person here is a Christian,” he’d state assertively.
Of course, the herbalist will promptly ignore him, but would all the same “watch” his tongue. Who knows whether or not the Moslem brother is inspired by Quoranic zeal to defend the tenets of Islam to the hilt?
When he starts saying, “Wallahi!” and “Inshallah!” it could be the beginning of proclaiming Islam as supreme, a point which must be driven home with talibanic precision.
So the herbalist must tread carefully lest he steps on fire.
The herbalist could even add a measure of mirth to it all, by announcing that Christians on board today have very interesting company on the journey, but that should not detract from the business of the day.
The Moslem brother will weigh the words carefully and offer a wry smile.
He must be careful the occasion does not degenerate into the use of semantics and proverbial oration to deride his conviction that public utterances must be mindful of religious sensibilities. He has made his point very clear and expects that it is taken in good faith in the interest of a peaceful journey.
The herbalist will now open the New Testament and preach salvation, stating clearly that salvation can come only through Jesus Christ and NOBODY else.
The Moslem brother will now start twitching his moustache. The visible and almost revolutionary reflexes of his upper lip can be an indication that sentiments have begun superseding reason, and the outcome could well be tragic now shift uneasily in his seat.
The time has come for him to also express his right to the religion of his fore-bears. He’ll put his hand into his pocket and rise to his feet. The time has indeed come!
This article was first published on Saturday, September 9, 2006
When the cause of a particular problem like sickness, disease, sudden illness, a social issue etc. are not known, it stands to reason that resolving it becomes a huge challenge.
Citizens would understand the government when public announcements are made to the effect that government is trying to find a solution to the issue, even though it is taking a while for it to be resolved because citizens are rational beings.
On the other hand, if the solution to a particular issue is known to everybody but the government for whatever reason, is dragging its feet in resolving it, citizens become frustrated and begin to lose trust in their leaders.
One such issue is the heavy traffic along a section of the Kasoa – Odokor road. A short stretch of bad road between the traffic light at the Weija Government Hospital and the entrance to the entrance of the overhead that leads to the N1, is the cause of the problem but nothing is being done about it, day after day, week after week, month after month. Thus is clearly unacceptable.
Another issue that requires urgent attention is the lack of pavements along a lot of streets in parts of the various Municipal Assemblies. Exercise is a prerequisite for long life and healthy living and for those of us who it has become a way of life, this issue of people putting up structures right to the edge of the drains beside the roads, are making life difficult for us.
We are compelled to walk along the roads, putting our lives at serious risk. Pedestrians should never be compelled to compete with vehicles on our streets and roads. Roads and streets are made for vehicles and pavements are made for pedestrians. That is the norm. Any attempt to normalise a situation where pedestrians are mingling with vehicles is insanity.
It is the road regulations that makes it so and therefore district or municipal assemblies are to take responsibility and ensure that spaces for pavements are not encroached upon. Citizens have rights that must be protected by their leaders and making pavements available to pedestrians, is one of them.
When we hear of teachers having sex with students, it appears it is something recent. It is not a new phenomenon. It has been there since Adam. Perhaps this issue is getting much attention due to the proliferation of social media. It was an open secret in times past when Teachers were in relationships with female students and some married them immediately after completion of school.
Some teachers were also known to be having unholy interactions with female pupils but due to the times that these acts occurred, human rights issues and the awareness around it, allowed such unscrupulous teachers to get away with their crimes.
Now we are in a different era and so a Headmaster is now in hot waters. He is alleged to have raped about 19 female students and as usual, some officials tried to cover it up and are also in hot waters and their actions or inactions in the matter are under investigation.
Why the man has been allowed to roam freely without being arrested is simply mind boggling. It appears that the law applies differently, depending on who you are. This issue came to public attention sometime in August this year, yet the police had not arrested or invited this man for question regarding the rape allegation.
It has come out that he is a Constituency Secretary of the ruling party and the question in the public domain is that, is it because he is a political figure that is why he is still walking around without questioning? I believe in the rule of law so let us hold our breadth and let the proper thing be done.
The police must however be seen to be active in this matter. God bless.
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