Features
Vikings stir up

The Viking Spirit is Holy Spirit. It is a cool, quiet, powerful spirit. It descends like a dove on official residents of Mensah Sarbah Hall and they prophesy. The tutors are likely to speak in tongues and the honourable hall master may do signs and wonders.
Unlike the Holy Spirit, however, the Viking Spirit can be rebellious. The Vandals of Commonwealth know it. The only hall Vandals are uncomfortable with is Sarbah. The Vikings have often used wits and chicanery to tame the wild Vandals.
When I was a young Viking, I was a strategist of the hall. I was also the hall astrologer and told the fortunes of the hall when it came to war with the Vandals. My room-mate, Akortey Anaara, was at the time a numerologist who used figures to read the outcome of conflicts.
It often turned out that sometimes the Vandals saw it fit to sue for peace. And peace was granted. I must admit, however, that when it came to football, the Vandals thrashed us bad.
Today, we can all be grateful that the Viking spirit is still intact. A little sign of it emerged recently when Vikings rose against their senior tutor. It is rebellious and unacceptable. But it means the spirit is very much alive.
Anyhow, it was not exactly a coup d’état. Far from it. Just a stir, a harmless mutiny. They’ve been asked by the senior tutor to send out all refrigerators from the rooms of the hall. Wallahi! You lie bad!
Well, in our time, the students would not have over-reacted, probably because life was a bit more manageable. Today life is difficult for the students. They are over-crowded, they have to get their own food, and there is no romance because one student cannot ‘narrow’ five or six others without precipitating in a civil war.
The last time I visited Legon, I was sad. No breathing space! When students were paired, life was good; today, the rooms are like secondary school dormitories, when some students are senior citizens with children and grand-children, and even great grandchildren.
To live with five or six others in a tiny room can have its own social, religious, economic and political implications. For all you know, there can be political alliances formed, and this can be interesting until it degenerates into a boxing showdown in the corridor or balcony. The NDC guys are specialists in upper-cuts. With the NPP ones, you certainly have to watch your balls. Asee ho!
However, the most dangerous is religion. A Muslim student must wake up at 5:00am to say his prayers. Allah Ku Baru! Allah Ku Baru! The guy next to him might be a Bahai who enjoys his sleep only at dawn. Moreover, he is macho and does not tolerate nonsense. The other guy on the far east may also be a born-again who can only catch the Holy Spirit over-speed at exactly 4:00 am. When he speaks in tongues, the building shakes.
The paddy-man sandwiched somewhere in the mezzanine west has a problem with his alimentary system. He easily develops gas in his colon, and he is only comfortable when he releases the gas on regular basis. So the rook is always air conditioned in a manner that can cause nausea, vomiting and nightmares.
So it turns out that every student contributes his quota to the general discomfort, and this is bound to affect academic work in a very radical way. When some of the students want their peace to sleep, others want to cram throughout the night. The next morning everyone is restive, sleepy-eyed, furious and ready to punch. And the good news is that Madam Amoakohene wants all refrigerators out, defaulters to face revolutionary action.
Well, students are supposed to be obedient. In our time, we were very obedient. May be, it was because we were not ordered to send our refrigerators out and we were not as frustrated as today’s students. We were very nice with the hall tutors and often shared lagers with them.
I am sure the senior tutor means well, except that she did not understand the viewpoint of the students and, of course, their frustration with life on campus. One refrigerator could be allowed in every room for the common use of the inmates. Of course, more than one refrigerator per room can create space problems, and every student cannot bring his own refrigerator.
I hear the hall is thinking about a common room for refrigerators. The students aren’t pleased with that. You can’t trust others – stealing and poisoning are cited as possible.
Whatever it is, the hall tutors will have to sit down with the students and find a compromise bearing in mind that the students are already suffering and need some comfort to cope with academic work.
Fact also is, some of us old Vikings aren’t pleased with the bad publicity about the hall. It went to the extent that, the issue had to be discussed on a radio station with Madam doing a lot of elaboration and some damage control.
She is intelligent, very articulate and sounds like a Beijing activist. May be she is the best person for the job, after all. A bit of patience on her part would do, though. The students need it. They need love and understanding because they are highly-strung and in tight corners.
If you hear them complaining you’d be sad. A Volta girl was complaining to me the other day. Her mates are just not neat at all. They are noisy, unkempt and disgusting. Some bring their boyfriends to the rooms. Sometimes the boys sleep and snore hard. Jesus Christ of Nazareth! If the girl fails her exams no one should blame her.
The university needs lots of hostels to cope with the current situation, I bet.
This article was first published on Saturday April 7, 2001
Features
Female bodies for sale

It is still the contention of my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, that the moment God created woman, He created a big problem for man. If not, why would man always have to trim his moustache in such a way as to please woman and not himself? And why would a man’s holy organ keep nodding like an agama lizard just because there is a creation called woman?
Sir Kofi Jogolo whose moustache deserves both a national award and mention in the Guinness Book of Records for its stylish variations, told me recently that when you marry, you have palaver; if you don’t marry, you have wahala. All because of woman. I think the bloke is a reincarnation of Paul. Only he looks like Peter.
For those who do not marry, they may be free of marital problems, but might be in sexual bondage, because at dawn, a certain part of the body might nod in distress. It is a wonderful part of the human body that smiles with joy when a woman is lying within arm’s length.
The unmarried may not have to wait until dawn, though. After all, who says you can satisfy a sexual need only at dawn? If there is no girlfriend, there is still a way out. FEMALE BODIES FOR SALE! You only have to ask, “How much?” Sometimes it is worth the price of only two balls of kenkey.
It is for this reason that some people do not discourage women from practising prostitution because they claim the women play a vital role in national development. According to them, first, the nation cannot develop when the citizens are sex-starved. Second, they claim prostitution keeps down figures of rape cases since it is due to the scarcity of female bodies that the incidence of rape is rising.
Well, some people really adore prostitutes. With them you don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Moreover, you can skip foreplay which many people don’t have the patience for because of their high sexual temperature, or because they consider it a waste of time. And when you pay well, you can enjoy the style you want.
In actual fact, some married men also go in for prostitutes once in a while. They claim that prostitutes do not complain in bed like their wives. When you ask them to raise a leg, they comply without argument.
They also say prostitutes who are experienced can really work on certain parts of your body enough to make you blaspheme. Holy Jesus! The difference is clear then that with prostitutes you pay for the service but with wives it is for free, meaning that the quality of service must differ accordingly.
Many men also say they prefer prostitutes to girlfriends because of “back-pocket palaver”. It is their contention that with girlfriends you have to specialise in telling lies about your credit worthiness especially when you’re not only a human being but also a church mouse.
Sometimes you have to buy beer and gin because some girlfriends would not like to have sex unless they are properly soaked in booze. You also have to sing them lullabies and recite poetry to turn them on. Ask Devine Ankamah. That’s not all. When all is finished, you have to dish transport money, and if you’re not lucky she’d ask you to settle a “carry forward” you had planned to dodge.
So for just two probably lousy rounds of enjoyment, you’d spend some ¢15,000 if hotel services are included, unless you choose a hotel room where cockroaches and rats don’t practise family planning.
There are those who believe that with prostitutes, you don’t have to tell lies. It is purely business. No credit, no debit. Money na hand back na ground. When you are through and refuse to pay, she’ll cause a scene, scratch your face red and drag your butt onto the street. Next time you don’t have money, you stick to your wife or girlfriend or to your sorrows.
Prostitution in Sikaman is widespread. News reaching Palava have it that in the Obuasi area, it is the major occupation of females. They are in lucrative business. They come from all over the country -Bolga, Tamale, Kumasi, Sunyani, Accra, Odumase, wherever. A few are said to have come from Lagos in full gear.
When they all come, they sometimes don’t do so with only their bodies and luggage. They also carry with them something small in the form of a disease called AIDS which they distribute free of charge.
So why Obuasi? Gold! The great successes of Ashanti Goldfields combined with the notoriety and boom of galamsey activities have acted as a magnet, drawing in those who peddle their bodies for cash. No cheques!
Sometime back, it was reported that AIDS cases in the Obuasi area had soared. The reason, prostitution. Obuasi prostitutes are, however, of class. They dress to kill. Some speak even more languages, so if you’re a client and you speak even in tongues, they understand. And they drink beer exactly like Germans.
So what really are we doing about these prostitutes who, some say are contributing to national development and others say are enhancing national obituary?
Sikaman Palava has said it once that the law enforcement agencies have tried time and again to rid them off the streets. They have always failed in doing so. The problem is that they are as slippery as the cockroach. When harassed, they disappear and practise all the same. If caught, they are fined and the next day they are firmly at post.
Some people say because we can’t get rid of them, we must neither encourage nor discourage them. We must find a way of organising them into co-operatives under the name of “SPECIAL HUMAN SERVICES.”
They’d undergo medical screening and those with AIDS banned from practising. The rest would undergo a course in the cause, prevention and cure of sexually-transmitted diseases, personal hygiene, condom use and the healthful ways of practising prostitution.
Then they can be let loose to practise under laid-down rules and regulations and their income taxed.
That way, the prostitutes would be more beneficial to society and would not be the problem we see them to be.
This article was first published on Saturday June 29, 1996
Features
The right mindset is everything
This year June and part of July, is an enjoyable season for football lovers due to the World Cup which is held every four years. The World Cup is such a huge event and also very prestigious so it is highly competitive.
Countries registered with the Federation of International Football Association, (FIFA) become automatic members. FIFA organises tournaments on the five continents of the world, to enable countries to be selected to play in the World Cup competition.
Governments support their national teams to ensure qualification to the World Cup due to the prestigious nature of the tournament. Certain countries even go to the extent of renting a place of their choice, instead of the accommodation provided by FIFA, to ensure that they win the ultimate crown, as Germany did in the 2014 tournament in Brazil.
Mental strength a requisite for emerging victorious in football matches at such high professional level and everything must be done to endure that players are focused on the matches ahead of them.
There is however, a peculiar situation in this year’s World Cup, where it is being hosted by three countries namely the United States of America, Mexico and Canada and where one of the host countries, is at war with one of the competing countries.
The United States of America, is waging a war against Iran. The US has prevented Iran from staying in the US where they were originally scheduled by FIFA to play their matches. The US using its power as the host country, has refused to let Iran to stay and FIFA has provided a place in Mexico for the Iranian team to stay. They have to spend about five hours to fly to the US and prepare to get ready for their matches, each match day.
They are also forced to leave the US as soon as they finish playing their matches, without resting. Despite this inhumane treatment being forced on them by the USA, the Iranian team is mentally strong and have managed to draw their two matches played.
This is a clear manifestation of mental toughness, resulting from having the right mindset.
Life has a way of often dealing bad cards to a lot of people but it is important that when it happens like that, you look at what you can do with what you have, to still achieve the goals you have set for yourself.
There is a saying that when life throws you a lemon you make lemonade out of it. The barriers confronting you might be great, but it is the attitude you display that makes the difference.
The Iranians have really shown that the right mindset is indeed everything you need to be successful. They looked at their situation and assessed what was not going in their favour and found appropriate steps to address it.
Given the teams Iran was to play, the challenge was indeed huge, given the circumstances they found themselves in, but the right mindset to never give up, did the trick for them.
As human beings, we are always confronted with challenges, right from the day we start to crawl, the day we take our first steps and as we continue to grow into adulthood. Challenges are part of our daily lives and we must therefore condition our minds, that we shall encounter them and so must constantly be innovative in overcoming them, when we encounter them.
We need as a country, to develop a critical thinking skill capabilities in our youth, as an investment in the future fortunes of this country. Developing the right mindset, will enable us overcome every challenge. God bless.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
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