Obaa Yaa
Terminate pregnancy or will not accept baby
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We became lovers after school and this gentleman promised to marry me. With time, l got pregnant but he insisted l should abort the pregnancy since he was unemployed.
l got rid of the pregnancy and this remained a secret between us.
After two years, l became pregnant again and my lover once more suggested that l should abort this second pregnancy which l refused.
He threatened to disown the child if l chose to maintain the pregnancy. l ignored his threats and informed my parents about the mess which l had caused.
Though l was abused and ridiculed, my parents later followed up to the gentleman’s parents who backed their son’s claims that he was not responsible for my pregnancy.
Enraged though, my father decided to accept the child as one of his children.
Having gone through embarrassment and mental agony, my child is doing well in school and this funny man is trying to claim the child.
l have decided not to mind him. Have l taken the right decision?
Marian, Accra.
Dear Marian,
You must be commended for the bold decision you took under this trying conditions. Your parents must also be commended for standing by you to overcome this problem.
The possibility of becoming barren after the second abortion was great, hence your decision was appropriate.
You must ignore this gentleman but if he still insists, your parents should go to court and stop him from harassing you.
Secondly, your parents should calculate the expenditure they had made on you from the time you became pregnant through to the time you were delivered of the child and what you had spent to look after the child and ask the man to pay it all off.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
