Obaa Yaa

Should l take revenge on my ex boyfriend?

Published

5 years ago

June 27, 2020

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We were friends from the Senior High School and became lovers throughout our stay in the university. Our friendship developed to the stage that he said ” l am the apple of his eyes” and he promised to marry me for which l did not hesitate to accept his proposal.

A year after we had completed our programmes in the university, l missed my period, despite the efforts l did to protect myself from being pregnant.

l was embarrassed in view of the situation in which l found myself. l could neither eat nor sleep, and all those who saw me at that time discovered that l had a serious problem in hand.

Though he pleaded with me to abort my pregnancy, l failed to comply. However, with time, he mounted pressure on me again and further explained that he was not employed, therefore, he would not be in the position to support me from the antenatal stage through to the time l would be delivered of my baby.

Later, he brought me some herbal concoction which he got from a friend and forced me to take it, failure to which he would refuse to accept the pregnancy and cease to talk to me.

l eventually obliged and took the concoction after which l bled for hours unending and later developed serious complications.

l became unconscious and was rushed to the hospital at the point of death, but was lucky to recover early. l was subsequently discharged after three weeks.

The medical doctor who treated me told my mother that he feared l would not be able to give birth in the future.

Now that l have complications due to the abortion, he has abandoned me and impregnated another lady whom he has promised to marry.

Naturally, l feel cheated and l am considering to take revenge. What should l do?

Nana Awurama.

Dear Nana Awurama,

First of all, we thank God for sparing your life and the ordeal that you have endured.

Take heart as you go through serious emotional moments. It is unfortunate that you allowed yourself to be deceived into taking a decision which is going to cause you the rest of your life, and for which you have yourself to blame.

It is not clear the sort of revenge you intend to take. No matter your plans, revenge could lead you into serious trouble if care is not taken, because you may be influenced by the anger in you to react.

Allow him to go ahead with his planned marriage if his conscience permits him.

Commit yourself to God and He will direct your path. Seek for forgiveness from God and hold nothing in your heart against him.

Forgiveness needs a broad, great and tender heart which you must hold unto and utilise to your benefit.

Obaa Yaa

I am Torn Between Two Guys

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.

I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.

Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.

—Esinam, Legon

Dear Esinam,

When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.

Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?

You might also reflect on:

Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?

Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.

Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.

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Obaa Yaa

My grades are dropping

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.

It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.

The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.

This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.

This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.

Chelsea, Accra.

Dear Chelsea,

Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.

Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.

Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.

Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.

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