Obaa Yaa
Should l take her back after years of separation?
Dear ObaaYaa,
We got married and stayed under the same roof for six years during which God blessed us with two children. Though financial problems hit us hard, the delivery of the children, surprisingly, brought joy into the family.
As the head of the family, l ensured that the basic needs of the family were provided and life went on smoothly despite the hardships we went through.
All along, my wife complained about the harsh economic challenges that the family experienced. But despite the assurances l gave that things would be better, l realised that she was not satisfied with my explanation.
After a brief misunderstanding between us one day, my wife threatened to leave me and the children. Exactly a month after she had issued that threat, another quarrel ensued and she packed her things and left the house.
Five years after, she has returned and pleading that l should take her back.
Having considered the toil and pain that l had single-handedly gone through to cater for the children without her calling or coming round to find out how her children fared was unpardonable.
When l come to think about it, l get sick, worried and very angry about the sort of treatment meted out to us.
Surprisingly, we are both not married. What should l do?
Joseph- Takoradi.
Dear Joseph,
I thank God for the life of your family, especially having taken you and your children through these difficult moments of trials, frustrations and deprivations to reach this stage.
Additionally, you ought to be commended for the ability to withstand the problems associated with single-parenting. I am pretty sure many people would have given you bits and pieces of advice from time to time as regards the sort of action to take in order to address the problem.
Impressed with your spirit of resilience and the love that you have for your children, l have the feeling that you are capable of moving mountains and making things work to perfection.
There is no human perfection on earth and there were occasions that people lost their temper and misbehaved without considering the consequences.
Your former wife allowed anger to take the better part of her, and having come back to her senses, she is pleading for forgiveness. Christians should remember that though sinners, Christ died for their sins, a gesture they do not deserve. So you must also forgive your wife and accept her back for the sake of the children and for the fact that you are both single.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
