Obaa Yaa
She wants to come back
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am 28 and in my second year in a tertiary institution. Back in the second cycle institution, I fell in love with a young lady who I trusted so much. We did everything love-birds would do, exchange gifts, cards etc.
After completion, she has been showing strange signs indicating that she loves me no more. Anytime I call her on the telephone, she will say nothing but rather allow me to talk and talk and talk. She’ll say absolutely nothing.
As things were getting out of hand, I wrote to her but she never replied, so I decided to break up with her.
A few months later, I came into contact with this young lady, who for some time now has shown great interest in me. She visits me at home, even before she goes to school.
I have also developed some interest in her and now we do everything together.
But recently, my former girlfriend wrote to me and apologised for her behaviour.
She says she is sorry about everything; she even wants me to visit her in her house, something she kicked against previously.
Obaa Yaa, apparently, my former girlfriend wants a comeback and I still love her, but I can’t afford to lose my new girlfriend.
Please advise me.
Jojo,
Pokuase
****.
Dear Jojo,
IT should be easy for you to choose between someone who is loyal to you and someone who isn’t. But ultimately, a decision on this will depend solely on you.
It would depend on how far you’ve gone with the new girl and whether or not you’ve promised her marriage.
As for the old girl, beware of her. Kojo don’t buy the idea of someone going elsewhere for reasons known to her alone and come back to beg. You should be more concerned about her coming back into your life after disappearing.
If Obaa Yaa is to advise you on who to choose between the two, it will certainly be the new girlfriend.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
