Obaa Yaa
She seeks my forgiveness
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27 and my girl friend is 22 years old. We have been friends for 10 months now but staying in different towns.
Recently, she came to me and complained that she had been sacked from the house by her father because she had a confrontation with him.
I advised her to stay with me, but was shocked to discover later that she had a boy friend who lived in the same community with her. When l questioned her, she said the gentleman was a former classmate of her elder sister.
l grew furious and threatened to sack her after which she apologised and asked for forgiveness. What action should l take against her?
Kwame , Accra.
Dear Kwame,
It is not advisable to accept somebody’s daughter to stay with you in the house without the knowledge of her parents. What steps would you take in case she falls into trouble? You would put yourself in a serious trouble.
In view of what had transpired between father and daughter, the lady’s father would not be happy to hear that she is staying with you. You should let her go and apologise to her father.
If she is of good character and you are desirous of marrying her, you can forgive her, follow the right steps towards marriage, monitor her movements and advise her to focus on you alone.
As a man, you must help her to overcome her challenges since she is a young lady.
Greetings
Mrs Mary Poku. God has favoured you with the opportunity to celebrate another birthday. We thank God for this wonderful occasion and pray that He will spread His arms around you and guide you all the days of your life.
From: Mr Joseph Kodzo Poku, your lovely husband, Mr Derrick Jessi Poku, Mrs Geraldine Amoabeng, Joseph Tawiah Poku and Richel Atta Poku, your children.
George Anku Kyekye. June 20 marked a memorable day in your life. As we join you to celebrate this day, we pray that God will answer your prayers and give you peace in your heart. Remember that your maker will always keep you under His protection and constant care. Belated happy birthday.
From: Florence, Eric, Allan, Julie and Francis, your siblings and Albert, Deborah, Allan and Loreen, your children.
Ms Joycelyn Agyapong. You recently celebrated your birthday and l would like to use this opportunity to express my endless love for you. May your dreams be fulfilled with much happiness. A belated birthday to you my sweet heart.
From: Eddie.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.
My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day. I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise. He screams my name very loudly.
We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?
Adzo, Keta.
Dear Adzo,
What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.
Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.
The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.
A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.
At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.
This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.
Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 23 year old lady, a national service person, who have just been posted to a remote town in the Northern Region to serve as a supervisor for a health facility.
After a very long and tiring search, I got a room to rent at an affordable price. My landlord is a male, and for some time now, he has been coming over without my invitation.
He comes at odd times and very late in the evenings, with the excuse of checking on me. Sometimes, I could just be in my room; the door opens and there he is. I am so uncomfortable with this situation and I wish he could stop, but I do not know how to tell him.
I fear he might become offended. I don’t feel safe in my own space since I stepped foot into the compound. I need some privacy!
Juanita, Tamale.
Dear Juanita,
I can feel your discomfort and concern. It’s understandable that you’re feeling vulnerable in this situation. Your safety and privacy are important, and you have every right to set boundaries.
It is very essential to communicate your concerns clearly and respectfully to your landlord.
Consider writing a polite but firm note or having a calm conversation with your landlord, explaining how you appreciate his concern, but you’d prefer it if he could stop to inform you before visiting.
Remember, your safety and comfort are paramount. If you feel that the situation is becoming too much or you don’t feel safe, don’t hesitate to reach out to authorities or organisations to provide assistance.
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