Obaa Yaa
She is in love with another man
Dear Obaa Yaa,
l am a 29-year-old farmer and my lady is 25. We are in the third year of our relationship and we love each other dearly.
If l do not see her for hours in a day, l would take the pains to look for her. She cooks for me every day at her own expense, and buys many things for me, including some nice shirts.
She often accompanies me to places, provided she has time to spend.
My lady is a trader and l have given her a substantial capital to trade with.
The problem is that when l talk to her about marriage, she does not give me a favourable response. This gives me the impression that she is no longer interested to marry me.
My checks showed that another man had proposed to marry her and she did not deny it when l enquired from her.
I advised her to break up the relationship with the gentleman but there is evidence that she is still in close contact with him.
I am troubled as l do not want to lose this girl. What should l do?
John, Akuse
Dear John,
Love for the opposite sex should flow naturally, therefore, it is not advisable to force someone to marry you.
You must be commended for taking pains in supporting this lady to be financially independent.
The fact that she did not deny her relationship with the gentleman is an indication that she is taking time to make comparison between the two of you before making her final decision.
You have to check whether your behaviour is what this lady frowns upon or there is something about you that she detests.
If she has finally decided to opt for the gentleman, then quickly re-organise your life, take some time to get another lover who will love you to guarantee a blessed and peaceful marriage life in the future.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
