Obaa Yaa
, ‘Protect your virginity, it is necessary’
Though our parents, guardians and some female teachers always urge us to preserve our virginity, live acceptable moral lives, concentrate on our studies, since that is the most essential thing for us to do, we often put death ears to such appeals and do what pleases us.
I obeyed this advice until l came into contact with a gentleman who initially behaved as though he had my interest at heart.
He bought dresses for me, half pieces of cloth and promised to sponsor my education to whichever level l desired to reach.
Unknown to me, this man was not genuinely seeking my interest but rather provided the opportunity to have an affair with me and l got pregnant to my surprise.
This development has soiled the trust my parents and loved ones had in me and was responsible for the bad relationship between me and my family.
With this bitter experience, l would like to advice the youth to listen to their parents, guardians and those placed in authority over them.
Since then, l have never been the same young lady who was surrounded with love and gifts showered on me.
This is my appeal to the youth.
Mary, Accra.
Dear Mary,
It is often said that experience is the best teacher, therefore, having gone through this problem has placed you in the right position to advice the youth. It will be ideal if they listen to you.
The most important thing is that you should not wait for the problem to arise before you think of resolving it.
Be guided by the adage that “a stitch in time, saves nine”.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
