Obaa Yaa
Pressure of childlessness is disturbing me
We have been married over six years but we have not as yet been blessed with the fruit of the womb.
I have become a centre of ridicule by my in-laws from the eldest person to the youngest in the family and there seems to be no end to my plight.
My parents and the entire family have heard the barrage of insults for which some were incensed and demanding that l should quit the marriage in order to have my peace.
In the midst of all these challenges, it is surprising to note that a female relative of my husband is the only person who is against the unjustified attacks on me.
She has been supporting me with words of encouragement and has the firm belief that the situation will be better with time.
Since accusing fingers were pointed at me as the cause of our childlessness, I was compelled to conduct tests at different hospitals and the reports had revealed that there was nothing wrong with me.
Unfortunately, my husband has refused to go to the hospital to undergo any of the tests l had been subjected to.
My fear is that the years are running out and if care is not taken, l may possibly not take seed provided the situation remains the same.
The anger in my parents and relatives could possibly make me leave the marriage. Will l be right if l take this action?
Patience- Accra.
Dear Patience,
I want to believe that you are both eager to have babies just as his relatives are mounting pressure on you to the annoyance of your family.
Modern medical researches and discoveries have made seemingly difficult problems to become easy to deal with, thereby bringing joy to many couples.
Since the tests conducted have proved positive, the next thing you should do as a wife is to compel your husband to go to the hospital for a thorough medical examination to be conducted on him.
You have to convince him that it takes two to make babies, therefore, he should complement your efforts in trying to unravel the problem of childlessness you have as a couple. You should let him understand that only the two of you should work hard in resolving the problem
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
