Obaa Yaa
Pregnant for married boyfriend
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been good friends for a couple of years and our friendship resulted in intimate activities through which l became pregnant.
Throughout our friendship, he kept postponing my request to know his parents, though l know two of his siblings.
Over the years, he promised to marry me and crown our marriage with a wedding.
Now that l am pregnant, heartbreaking revelations are springing up each day. I am surprised to learn that he has a wife and a child in his village.
This discovery has made me to be ashamed of myself, left me confused and l am angry with this gentleman who has made my life miserable.
The predicament in which l find myself makes me feel sick because my mother warned me not to have anything to do with a married man since such relationships are fraught with problems and disgrace.
Should l abort the pregnancy or what?
Ama, Nsawam.
Dear Ama,
You should have listened to the passionate advice of your mother to chart a straight path in life but it is unfortunate you did the contrary.
Now that the harm has been done, you have to plead with your parents to forgive your refusal to listen to them.
Two wrongs do not make a right so forget about aborting the pregnancy and liaise with the gentleman to take care of you through your pregnancy till the time you are delivered of the baby.
Having gone through this turbulent period successfully, make sure you do not fall into the same problem again.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
