Obaa Yaa
Pregnant for married boyfriend
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been good friends for a couple of years and our friendship resulted in intimate activities through which l became pregnant.
Throughout our friendship, he kept postponing my request to know his parents, though l know two of his siblings.
Over the years, he promised to marry me and crown our marriage with a wedding.
Now that l am pregnant, heartbreaking revelations are springing up each day. I am surprised to learn that he has a wife and a child in his village.
This discovery has made me to be ashamed of myself, left me confused and l am angry with this gentleman who has made my life miserable.
The predicament in which l find myself makes me feel sick because my mother warned me not to have anything to do with a married man since such relationships are fraught with problems and disgrace.
Should l abort the pregnancy or what?
Ama, Nsawam.
Dear Ama,
You should have listened to the passionate advice of your mother to chart a straight path in life but it is unfortunate you did the contrary.
Now that the harm has been done, you have to plead with your parents to forgive your refusal to listen to them.
Two wrongs do not make a right so forget about aborting the pregnancy and liaise with the gentleman to take care of you through your pregnancy till the time you are delivered of the baby.
Having gone through this turbulent period successfully, make sure you do not fall into the same problem again.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
