My wife is building secretly

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been married for the past 15 years. Although our marital journey has not been easy, I love my wife.

At a point in our marriage, I betrayed my wife by impregnating a co-worker. I asked for forgiveness from my wife and she accepted by apology.

Recently, I discovered that my wife had built two houses and rented them without my knowledge.

The most painful thing is that she has willed these houses to the children which I found in our wardrobe.

When I confronted her she claimed that the reason for her behaviour was because she had lost trust in me after I impregnated a co-worker.

I am confused. What should I do to win her trust?

Jacob, Osu.

Dear Jacob,

This is an interesting letter which will serve as a useful lesson for couples.

Marriage basically thrives on love, trust and a great deal of tolerance. Couples must always ensure that these fundamentals are safeguarded in order to keep the marriage safe.

Unfortunately, you have grossly abused the trust of your wife and have called for this negative response from her. Judging by her behaviour, this is the best way for her to retaliate.

Though it is unfortunate that she has built houses without your knowledge, you should know that you have called for the tune and must, therefore, be prepared to dance according to it.

Secondly, you must be grateful that she has willed the houses to your children.

I don’t like his dressing

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.

You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.