Obaa Yaa

My wife has put on weight

Published

9 months ago

January 18, 2025

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am aged 39, our marriage is two years old. I am sincerely worried about the changes in my wife. I got married to my wife who was slim and very beautiful but after the birth of our first child, she suddenly became fat.

She looks entirely like a different person to me. I have pleaded with her to hit the gym and also reduce her food intake, suggesting she eat only once a day.

I even went on to register her in a gym myself and pressurised her to be serious with it but she only went for a week and stopped, saying it’s stressful and still eating more than once a day.

I only make love to my wife when I am drunk, as I no longer find her sweet and attractive. As a result, I am having an affair with a lady I met on social media two months ago and she is pregnant.

I am confused because I did not intend to have a broken marriage. I sincerely love my wife, but her new size is sincerely a turn-off for me. Honestly, I am pleading for your assistance on how to tackle this situation.

Mr Owusu,

Techiman.

Dear Owusu,

You should understand that pregnancy and childbirth comes with a lot of changes and challenges.

People lose their lives whilst giving birth, others lose their teeth and some become paralysed for the rest of their lives.

If the basis for marrying your wife was because of her stature, then it’s highly possible you didn’t love her because these body changes are meant to happen.

You cannot tell an elderly woman to eat once a day just because you want her shape back.

You can convince her to exercise but not to compel her against her will.

And how sure are you that the other woman will not go through these changes when she gives birth as well.

It means you will end up moving from one woman to the other.

If you really cherish your wife and don’t want a broken home, then inform her about the other woman and the child she is expecting. Be responsible for the child and end the affair with the other woman.

Be ready to accept the current stature of your wife and enjoy your marriage.

Obaa Yaa

I am Torn Between Two Guys

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.

I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.

Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.

—Esinam, Legon

Dear Esinam,

When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.

Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?

You might also reflect on:

Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?

Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.

Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.

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Obaa Yaa

My grades are dropping

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.

It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.

The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.

This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.

This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.

Chelsea, Accra.

Dear Chelsea,

Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.

Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.

Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.

Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.

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