Obaa Yaa
My sister don’t want me to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE are three siblings – all girls. My elder sister and I are very close and share almost everything together. When I completed Junior High School, my elder sister was writing her Nov/Dec remedial because she failed in three core subject.
Due to this, my father refused to allow me to further my education until my sister passed her exams.
Whiles I was home, a friend introduced me to a man who eventually fell in love with me.
We dated for about a year and he has proposed.
My parents are in support of this but my sister is pleading with me not to marry because she is the eldest.
Since that is not the first time she is doing this, I discussed with my father but his response was more in support of my sister’s claim; that she is the eldest and I need not rush into marriage.
What should I do?
Kafui, Sogakope.
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Dear Kafui,
It’s sad you are going through this problem and I must say I’m happy you have opened up on this. First of all, you should approach your sister and ask her if she was ready to get married or move to the next level in life because time and tide waits for no man and as women, e mature earlier than men.
Her actions may be delaying you; that is certainly not the best, especially when your man is ready to marry you.
A man who is not ready to settle down will not propose to you. If you put impediments on his way, he would move on and get involved with someone else.
Your sister should not be a barrier to your marriage. Let your parents also talk to her. If she is not ready, it does not mean everything around him must come to a stall.
Pray about it and I trust that God will help you to overcome this problem.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
