My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

***************************************************************************************

Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.

You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.

I don’t like his dressing

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

*****************************************************************************************

Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

Obaa Yaa

I am a second wife and scared

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a second wife married in the customary way. The first wife often have misunderstandings with our husband.

Interestingly, I am also having multiple issues with him and I am worried.

According to my husband, the reason why she broke up with his first wife was because, she was a drunkard and a cheat.

Recently, I realised my husband has made a Will in the name of my children and didn’t include his ex-wife and children.

His lawyer, who is a family friend, disclosed this to his relative and they are angry.

His relatives advised my husband to suspend the Will and give part of the assets to them but he refused.

He only gave a plot of land to his ex-wife. But I’m afraid that when this man dies, his relatives will eject me from his house, because they like the first woman more than me.

Dede, Nkronza.

Dear Dede,

There should be a reason why the first wife of your husband became a drunkard. She needs your pity more than anything else.

However, how would your husband’s relative love a drunkard? It looks as if your husband’s ex-wife was maltreated or was not giving the needed attention.

If your husband makes a Will that has the seal of the law on it, it will make you more secured.