Obaa Yaa
My husband sleeps on the floor
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I dated for three years before we got married last year.
A year before we got married, he moved into my apartment and I made him to sleep on the floor to prevent the two of us from engaging in pre-marital sex.
Unfortunately, he still prefers sleeping on a mattress on the floor even after we got married.
I have complained about his conduct a couple of times, but he is not ready to share the same bed with me.
Anytime I joined him on the floor, he then moved back to sleep on the bed. I am worried about the situation because we do not have sex frequently.
What should I do?
Edith, Sakaman
Dear Edith,
Your decision not to share the same bed prior to your marriage in order to prevent pre-marital sex was good and the two of you must be com¬mended for holding firm to that decision.
Now that you are married, sleeping on separate beds should be a thing of the past. Both of you must demonstrate that you are a couple and must do things together with mu¬tual understanding as regards to what to do at a particular time.
You must interrogate your husband further to find out if there is a hidden agenda for his action. He owes you an expla¬nation to his conduct because the situation cannot continue to remain as it is.
It is also important to find out if there is an underlying problem which is responsible for his conduct.
It could be that your hus¬band has another lover for which reason he is no longer interested in you.
Until he is able to tell you the reason for his action, the problem cannot be solved.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
