Obaa Yaa
My husband is lovely and caring
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAD married for five years with two children and this gave me the false impression that things would sail smoothly into the future with my family.
Unfortunately, things turned upside down after l was delivered of my second child. As a nursing mother, l tried to calm the raging tension with the hope that things were going to change by playing a role for peace to prevail in the house.
But l had the shock of my life when my husband asked me to pack my belongings and leave the house with the two children who he claimed were not his.
Despite the intervention of my parents, my husband did not change his decision and l became traumatised.
With my meagre salary, l had to cater for my children, their education as well as my aged parents.
One day, the items l bought from the market poured on the ground and a gentleman who was standing by quickly assisted me to pick them. He bought a stronger polythene bag for me to carry my things.
Since then we became good friends and there was not a single day that he would not ask of me. He later requested to visit my parents after which he proposed to marry me.
One day, he decided to visit my parents after which he proposed to marry me. Though l have two children for which l thought my marriage to him would not be possible, he assured me that l should not worry because my children were his as well.
Since our marriage, he loves me and my children as though he is their biological father and this has made me to love him more and l now forgotten of my problems in my previous marriage.
I am surprised at the display of love from my new husband and l will continue to love him all the days of my life.
Cynthia, Tema.
Dear Cynthia,
Your case reminds me of the verse in the Bible which encourages us to be grateful to God no matter the circumstance. Count yourself very blessed for coming across such a lovely husband who has transferred the love he has for you to your children.
Having received this measure of love from your present husband, educate your children to reciprocate their love and respect for him. This is the only means they can sustain his love for your family.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
