Obaa Yaa
My husband is a ‘wife-beater’
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE have been married for the past 10 years but I have no peace in my home. My husband beats me in front of our children after any slight misunderstanding.
Last night, my husband slapped me so hard to the extent that I fell on the floor. My 7-year-old son ran to cover me with his body, crying and screaming.
Anytime he beats me, the children hide in the corner and say they will never marry a man like their father.
My children are traumatised and always scared when their father gets home.
I want to leave but I am unemployed and with no family support. I am afraid my children will grow up thinking violence is normal.
I need an advice. How do I move on from this? How do I protect my children?
From Akorfa, Accra.
Dear Akorfa,
I am really sorry you are going through this and I can imagine how difficult it is.
Marriage is supposed to be peaceful, all about happiness and offer support to each other. No one deserves to experience any form of abuse, especially in front of children.
Have you sat down with your husband to discuss the current situation and how it is affecting the children?
Your safety and well-being are the most important things now and besides, you need to reach a family member, a pastor or any elderly person for counselling.
For the meantime, I will urge you to move out to a safer place. It could be a family house or a friend’s house because the issue will affect the children.
If possible, keep records of incidents like date and time. That can help if you decide to pursue legal action.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
