Obaa Yaa
My husband is a ‘wife-beater’
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE have been married for the past 10 years but I have no peace in my home. My husband beats me in front of our children after any slight misunderstanding.
Last night, my husband slapped me so hard to the extent that I fell on the floor. My 7-year-old son ran to cover me with his body, crying and screaming.
Anytime he beats me, the children hide in the corner and say they will never marry a man like their father.
My children are traumatised and always scared when their father gets home.
I want to leave but I am unemployed and with no family support. I am afraid my children will grow up thinking violence is normal.
I need an advice. How do I move on from this? How do I protect my children?
From Akorfa, Accra.
Dear Akorfa,
I am really sorry you are going through this and I can imagine how difficult it is.
Marriage is supposed to be peaceful, all about happiness and offer support to each other. No one deserves to experience any form of abuse, especially in front of children.
Have you sat down with your husband to discuss the current situation and how it is affecting the children?
Your safety and well-being are the most important things now and besides, you need to reach a family member, a pastor or any elderly person for counselling.
For the meantime, I will urge you to move out to a safer place. It could be a family house or a friend’s house because the issue will affect the children.
If possible, keep records of incidents like date and time. That can help if you decide to pursue legal action.
Obaa Yaa
I am a second wife and scared
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a second wife married in the customary way. The first wife often have misunderstandings with our husband.
Interestingly, I am also having multiple issues with him and I am worried.
According to my husband, the reason why she broke up with his first wife was because, she was a drunkard and a cheat.
Recently, I realised my husband has made a Will in the name of my children and didn’t include his ex-wife and children.
His lawyer, who is a family friend, disclosed this to his relative and they are angry.
His relatives advised my husband to suspend the Will and give part of the assets to them but he refused.
He only gave a plot of land to his ex-wife. But I’m afraid that when this man dies, his relatives will eject me from his house, because they like the first woman more than me.
Dede, Nkronza.
Dear Dede,
There should be a reason why the first wife of your husband became a drunkard. She needs your pity more than anything else.
However, how would your husband’s relative love a drunkard? It looks as if your husband’s ex-wife was maltreated or was not giving the needed attention.
If your husband makes a Will that has the seal of the law on it, it will make you more secured.
Obaa Yaa
No Lady loves me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 30 years of age, unemployed and struggling to make a living. I am so hairy that I started shaving at age 20.
The excessive shaving has made my cheeks rough. I look much older than my age.
At age 30, I feel I should have a wife or be involved in a serious relationship leading to marriage but I have no one.
Currently, I am depressed because I am still looking for a job.
However, my choice of a woman who actually satisfies my set standard or whom I wish to have does not love me.
I have tried several other ladies but it all backfired although I am sober and live a modest life.
Could it be that I am jobless or due to my rough cheeks. Can something be done about it?
Troubled man, Kumasi.
Dear Troubled man,
I would want to believe it has more to do with your being unemployed.
If you propose marriage to a woman while you are unemployed, she would not take you serious.
Marriage thrives more on other factors than love, especially when children are born in the marriage, you need money to take care of them.
I will also suggest you see a skin specialist about your rough cheeks and do not jump into conclusion about your looks.
