Obaa Yaa
My husband is a ‘wife-beater’
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE have been married for the past 10 years but I have no peace in my home. My husband beats me in front of our children after any slight misunderstanding.
Last night, my husband slapped me so hard to the extent that I fell on the floor. My 7-year-old son ran to cover me with his body, crying and screaming.
Anytime he beats me, the children hide in the corner and say they will never marry a man like their father.
My children are traumatised and always scared when their father gets home.
I want to leave but I am unemployed and with no family support. I am afraid my children will grow up thinking violence is normal.
I need an advice. How do I move on from this? How do I protect my children?
From Akorfa, Accra.
Dear Akorfa,
I am really sorry you are going through this and I can imagine how difficult it is.
Marriage is supposed to be peaceful, all about happiness and offer support to each other. No one deserves to experience any form of abuse, especially in front of children.
Have you sat down with your husband to discuss the current situation and how it is affecting the children?
Your safety and well-being are the most important things now and besides, you need to reach a family member, a pastor or any elderly person for counselling.
For the meantime, I will urge you to move out to a safer place. It could be a family house or a friend’s house because the issue will affect the children.
If possible, keep records of incidents like date and time. That can help if you decide to pursue legal action.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I wrote sometime back in 2024 to discuss an ordeal I went through. I contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when I was doing my national service. Initially, I thought it was a normal sickness, so I visited a nearby hospital for treatment. I still feel itching and pains in my manhood.
I began to worry about the whole situation. I wrote to you and you directed me to see a specialist. The doctor did what he could, but the disease still persists. I have also gone through a lab test which shows that there is nothing wrong with me. A few doctors and pharmacists I contacted claim it could be psychological.
There is a sore at the tip of my male organ, and I am disturbed. Not only do I find it difficult to urinate, but it gives me continual sharp waste pain. Currently, I’m not only going through serious physical pains but psychological, because I cannot concentrate on my job for five minutes. I have also been praying and fasting. Can this be spiritual?
Mawuli, Keta
Dear Mawuli,
I hope you are doing well. I will advise you to take your medication regularly. There is still hope for your situation. See a urologist at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital for assistance.
I cannot say if your condition is spiritual or not. However, do not stop praying to God. Your miracle may just be on the way.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I’m a lady in my late 30s who wants to give love a second chance, despite all the pain and scars love has caused me.
Tony was just a new staff my company recruited to work in my department. We became friends, and our friendship became stronger when we realised we were both of the same tribe. We fell madly in love, and dating each other was the best option. I got pregnant and less than a month later, we did our traditional wedding and later signed in court.
I found out that my husband, Tony, had a wife and a child in the United Kingdom (UK) when I was eight months pregnant and five months married. What should I do?
Patricia, North Kaneshie
My dear Patricia,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your pain. It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough experience with Tony.
First, let’s acknowledge your strength and resilience. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still standing. That says a lot about your character.
It sounds like Tony presented himself as a good man, and you believed him. You connected well and he seemed to have good family values, but it turns out he was hiding a big secret.
My advice to you is to take time to process your emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, hurt, and confused, but allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you thought you had.
You might want to consider seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group. Talking through your feelings can really help.
In terms of the next steps, you may consider getting legal advice to understand your rights and options. As a pregnant woman, you have certain rights, and it’s essential to prioritise your well-being and the baby’s well-being.
