Obaa Yaa
My husband declines medical check up
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been married for six years and l cannot remember the month in which l missed my menstrual period. I had undergone medical examinations at the hospital and the results were the same that there was no problem with me.
Based on the outcome of the results, the doctor requested that my husband should report at the hospital to undergo the appropriate tests to ascertain the problem, but he would not listen to my plea and the insistence of the doctor to go to the hospital.
My greatest concern is the pressure his family is pilling on me for a baby.
I am confused about the conduct of my husband and do not know what to do.
Should l reveal the secret to his family about his refusal to go for the test at the hospital?
Gladys, Accra.
Dear Gladys,
I share in your frustration and the incessant pressure on you though it is not your fault. Irrespective of the difficulties being encountered, it is too early for you to throw your hands in desperation.
Since the challenges are daunting, you have to explore or exhaust the available avenues in the marriage to resolve what seems to be going wrong.
This is a dicey issue which must be handled with great care otherwise it will explode and possibly cause the disintegration of your marriage. Though the pressure keeps coming, let the secret be between you and your husband. It is likely the family is equally pilling pressure on him as well, only that he has decided not to mention it to you.
You have to employ the tricks under your sleeves, combined with love and convince him not to be afraid but go to the hospital.
It is my belief that if he is in dire need of fathering a child, he will go for the check.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
