Relationship
My friend ‘Jesse Crow’
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Friendship is something that God has established as part of human existence.
We sometimes do not choose our friends but it happens accidentally. Some friendships begin on a bus, a train, a plane, in school among others.A cousin of mine got a friend who became a link to a better life on a plane to Libya in 1989.
My friendship with Ofosu Appiah aka. Jesse Crow, however happened on SUTESCO Campus at Suhum, in the Eastern region. SUTESCO as I knew it back then in the mid-1980s, could be considered as the repository of Ghana’s independence. Once you gain admission into Form 1, you are sure to complete Form 5 barring death or illness. It is an atmosphere of freedom where you can choose to study deep into the night in the classroom without hindrance.
Therefore those who were serious with their books usually passed well in the General Certificate Examination for both the Ordinary and Advanced levels. Those who chose to just pass through the school without bordering about their grades and final examinations as you can imagine, also flopped badly.
It was a land of the extremes. The reason for talking about my friend Jesse Crow is the motivation of ‘heaven’ his memory gives me any time his name comes to mind.
His memory motivates me to be a better Christian and strive to abide in the grace of God so I could make it to heaven one day.
Motivation is a very important positive force which drives people to achieve a lot of things in their lives. Things that motivate people vary from money, love, happiness among others.
Some people have become regular members of a particular church now because they were first attracted by their songs, or the neatness of their washrooms or the friendliness of the ushers.
Motivation can also be the fear of a negative consequence like being a law abiding citizen for fear of being in prison. The funny way memory of Jesse Crow motivates me is the fact that, having led a church boy’s life, it would be a travesty of justice if I do not walk in obedience to God’s word as a Christian and end up in hell and Jesse Crow ends up in heaven, in the hereafter.
This is because of the things Jesse Crow had been involved in before he became converted and if the bad things I had done were to be compared to that of my friend Jesse Crow, I would be considered an Angel. Jesse Crow’s conversion was one of the greatest miracles of God on SUTESCO Campus between 1984 1nd 1985.
I recall the shock on the face of our then House Master, Mr. Amo when he realised that Jesse Crow was converted.
He was so excited that he promised his full support for the Scripture Union group in the school. A funny story is told of a day when his father came to the school to pay him a visit and for quite a while he could not find his son Ofosu Appiah.
Apart from his classmates, who knew his real name, most students only knew him as Jesse Crow, so there was Daddy looking for his son Ofosu Appiah who nobody knew until a classmate came along and the chap asked him if he knew one Ofosu Appiah and he said “Oh, it’s Jesse Crow”.
His father was surprised that his son’s name has changed from Ofosu Appiah to something else. That is what a school environment can do to young people who come from areas like Tema and Accra.
I am looking forward to the day that I would see him face-to-face and shout out his name “Jesse Crow” and the expected response “O rai, Body” i.e. Albright Buddy in that deep voice of His. That day would be a joyous moment. The last time I heard of him was when I was told that he had become a drummer in one of the Charismatic churches in Tema. Again I later heard that he had travelled to Canada. It is my prayer that both of us will continue to abide in the grace of God so we shall end up in heaven one day.
1. Talk early and often
It is never too early to start talking with and listening to your children about the first day of school. Ask them what they think school will be like and see if they have any specific concerns so that you will have time to address it over the next couple of weeks. It is totally normal to have first day jitters.
2. Go to the orientation
If your child’s school is hosting an orientation or back-to-school night, take advantage of it. Often children are worried that they will not know how to get to the bathroom, where to eat lunch, or how to get to a locker. If your school does not offer one or you are unable to make it, ask the teacher if it would be possible to stop by for a visit. Teachers are usually in their classrooms prepping for the new school year in advance.
3. Meet the teacher
For kids, wondering if they will like their teacher is a big source of fear. If your child isn’t comfortable in the teacher’s classroom, he or she will be less likely to be ready to learn. Many teachers will make themselves available for a phone or video call or will return an email if a visit is not possible.
4. For younger children, read books or watch educational cartoons
In August, local libraries will often display books about starting school or going to a new school. These materials can help children read about and see what a typical day will consist of and what they will learn in school.
5. Take your kids shopping with you
Your kids will be more excited to use their back-to-school supplies if they picked them out. Doing so will help them feel prepared and will also provide an opportunity to talk about how the new supplies might be used in the coming year.
6. Set up school “zones” and establish clear expectations
At home, establish a location for school materials such as a place to put backpack and lunchbox, and set up a distraction-free homework zone (like the kitchen table with the TV turned off and phones/tablets put away). Set up homework and study times (for example, Monday–Thursday from 3:30–5 pm) to help manage expectations and build and maintain good routines.
7. Practice your new routine
Both children and adults can benefit from practicing the new school routine one to two weeks before school actually starts. Stage a morning dry run to see how long it takes you and your children to get out of the door in the morning. It will not only help you predict how early you and your kids need to get up, but your children will benefit from learning what to expect each weekday.
Trust is the glue that holds relationships and marriages together. Without it, even the strongest bonds can crumble.
As a couple navigates the ups and downs of life, trust serves as the foundation upon which their love, commitment, and loyalty are built. But what happens when trust is broken?
How can couples work to rebuild and strengthen this essential component of their relationship?
Trust is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a decision to be vulnerable, to be open, and to believe in the goodness of your partner. When trust is present, relationships flourish.
Communication becomes easier, conflicts are resolved more efficiently, and intimacy deepens. Trust allows couples to feel secure, to know that they can rely on each other through life’s challenges.
Signs of trust issues
So, how do you know if trust is an issue in your relationship? Look out for these signs:
– Suspicion and jealousy
– Defensiveness and accusations
– Lack of communication or withholding information
– Dishonesty or hiding the truth
– Emotional distance or disconnection
How to build trust
Fortunately, trust can be built and rebuilt. Here are some practical steps couples can take:
1. Communicate openly: Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Be honest, transparent, and open with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a respectful and empathetic manner.
2 Be reliable: Follow through on your commitments. Show your partner that you are dependable and responsible.
3. Show vulnerability: Be willing to be vulnerable with your partner. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with them.
4. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with it.
5. Cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. Make time for regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and affectionate gestures.
Rebuilding Trust
If trust has been broken, it is essential to work on rebuilding it. This process takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to take:
1. Acknowledge the hurt: Recognise the pain caused by the breach of trust. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their experience.
2. Identify the cause: Understand the reasons behind the breach of trust. Is it a lack of communication, infidelity, or something else? Identifying the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.
3. Work together: Rebuilding trust requires a joint effort. Work together to establish new patterns of behavior, communicate openly, and rebuild intimacy.
4. Seek help: If needed, seek the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work to rebuild trust. Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) can be helpful in that vein.
Building trust in a relationship or marriage takes work, commitment, and patience. It is a journey that requires effort from both partners. By communicating openly, being reliable, showing vulnerability, practicing forgiveness, and cultivating intimacy, couples can strengthen their bond and build a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded; it is something that must be earned and nurtured. With time, effort, and dedication, couples can build a strong, trusting relationship that brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment to their lives.
To be continued …
Source:
Counsellor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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