Obaa Yaa
My conscience is killing me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I gave birth five months ago and lost the baby. My husband is eager to make a new baby with me.
I personally lost interest in anything my husband does to me.
I don’t want him to make love to me because I am always not in the mood.
I am also mourning my baby because I have lost hope and it seems my husband is not cooperating with me.
I give him excuses anytime he comes close to me.
How do I get this feeling out of my head?
Anonymous,
Mamprobi.
Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry to hear what you’re going through. Please know that you are not alone and with time, everything will be fine.
I believe it’s important to open up to your husband about how you feel.
He may not even be aware of the emotional or physical changes you’re experiencing until you express them.
Communication is key in any relationship, especially in marriages.
Remember, intimacy should be mutual and based on consent. It’s something that involves both partners.
Your husband should also be your closest friend. Withholding your feelings or continually giving excuses may make him feel distant or rejected.
This can lead to misunderstandings or even temptations that can strain your marriage.
To avoid this, I encourage you to have a very honest and calm conversation with him.
You may also consider speaking with a professional counsellor or doctor who can guide you both toward a healthier and more fulfilling intimate life.
Above all, take your concerns to God in prayer before speaking to anyone else.
May God be with you and bless your marriage with healing and a deeper connection.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
