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Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 7)
‘Sir’ Ms Odame said when David Asante answered the call, ‘my name is Victoria Odame. I’m a teacher at Research School in Koforidua. I would like to come and see you concerning a student called Sarah’.
”Okay, madam. I would be very glad to meet you. How can I make your trip easier?’
‘I was going to join a bus to Accra’.
‘Here’s what we will do. Take a taxi and ask them to bring you to Accra. I will speak to the driver, give him the directions and pay him when you get here’.
The taxi stopped in front of the house. The gate opened, and the driver moved to the long driveway and stopped. ‘What a beautiful house?’ He said.
David and Adoma came out to meet them. Adoma paid the driver as David and Sarah stared at each other.
‘Please come in and sit down’, Adoma invited. She served them with water.
‘You are welcome’, Adoma continued. We have been waiting anxiously since you called this morning. So please, let’s hear you’. Before she could open her mouth, Sarah rose, moved to David, hugged him and sat on his lap’.
They both broke into tears. Adoma and Ms Odame also broke into tears.
‘Sorry madam’ David said. ‘This whole episode has been a very difficult one. But let’s do the proper thing. Let’s hear you first, and I will also speak. I’m sure we need to answer some questions immediately’.
‘Okay sir. I have been taking an interest in Sarah, because although she’s brilliant academically, she seemed to be troubled.
Following my discussions with her and some whispers I had been hearing, I went to Aboso Senior High School, and spoke to your former colleague, Mr Hanson. He told me that you were an exemplary teacher who was loved by all, and he also told me about the unfortunate events that caused you to leave for Germany. So I returned to Koforidua with the view to finding the appropriate means of helping to solve this problem’.
‘Great. Ms Odame, I have to thank you for finally helping us to solve this problem. Now, let me state the facts. This is what happened.
‘Gladys and I met and got married whilst we were both teachers in the school. Some months into our marriage, she told me that she needed to spend some days with her parents, and I agreed.
It turned out that she was actually spending time in a hotel with her ex-boyfriend, Simon. This happened again, after Sarah was born. I got wind of this, and told her that I was no longer interested in the marriage.
I started preparing to travel to Germany. She pleaded for forgiveness, but I stood my ground. Then she told me that she would punish me for rejecting her.
She came out later to say that Sarah was not my child, but Simon’s. She went and hid her somewhere, obviously expecting that I would fight to take my child. I was actually going to do that, but my parents advised me that it was almost impossible to win such a fight.
They advised that difficult as it sounded, I should leave the child with her, because she would come back to me eventually. I have absolutely no problem taking care of you, Sarah. I am taking care of quite a number of kids who are not mine. So that is what happened. My hands were tied. I have been trying to find out how you are doing.
I kept hearing that you were doing well at school. I also heard that Gladys and her husband were having problems, but I kept hoping that my daughter would at least be okay till it was possible for me to go for her’.
‘Sarah, now you have met your dad. You will be free to …’
‘I’m not going anywhere! ‘ she declared as she held on to him’.
‘You don’t have to worry about that, Sarah’, Adoma said. ‘We have been looking forward to the day you come home. This is your home. Now, you have to meet your siblings’. She called Abrefi and Adaawa.
‘Girls, we told you that you have a sister who would join us anytime. Now here is she’.
‘Sarah?’ Abrefi asked.
‘Yes’, Adoma replied. The girls hugged her and took her away.
‘Now’, David said, ‘I think it is time to call Madam Gladys’. He dialed the number.
‘My name is David Asante. I’m here in my house with my daughter Sarah. I hear you have told her all sorts of crazy stories about me. I could make life very difficult for you, but I won’t.
You are your own worst enemy. I don’t think you should be expecting her anytime soon. What do you say?’
Gladys stayed silent for over a minute, and cut the line.
‘Food is ready’, Adoma announced. ‘Everybody please come to the table’.
Sarah chatted excitedly with her siblings as Adoma and David chatted with Ms Odame. She kept staring at her father.
‘Now, Ms Odame, after you have brought such joy into our home, should we allow you to go back to Koforidua today, or should we wait till we are ready to release you? I could call your husband and ask permission.
And please don’t tell me you didn’t bring anything for an overnight stay. There are several supermarkets around here. We can fix that problem quickly’.
‘I will beg you to release me. Now that I have been so warmly welcomed here, I already feel part of this home. Koforidua is not that far away, so I will visit often’.
‘Well, let’s see what the kids have to say. Ladies, shall I release Ms Odame to go back to Koforidua? ‘
‘No!’ They shouted, and all broke into laughter.
‘Ms Odame, I will have mercy on you. But we are going to do something to make it easy for you to visit us. My wife wants to show you something. Please follow her’.
‘Adoma led her to the driveway as they others followed. They stopped in front of the car.
‘This is a Toyota Corolla 1600. It is very reliable, and good on petrol consumption. We are giving this to you in appreciation of your help in getting our daughter back to us.
And here in this envelope, is a little contribution to help you with maintenance. And here in this other envelope is a gift to help with your children’s school fees’.
As she stood, stunned, and stared from the car to the envelopes, David put his hand around his family’.
‘Let’s leave her to take a look at her car. Ms Odame, one of my drivers will drive you to Koforidua and leave your car with you. We are waiting inside’.
Sorry madam’ David said. ‘This whole episode has been a very difficult one. But let’s do the proper thing. Let’s hear you first, and I will also speak. I’m sure we need to answer some questions immediately
By Ekow de Heer
ALL these forms of responsibility are sustained by one central pillar: spiritual and moral discipline. Without it, knowledge becomes pride, power becomes oppression, and freedom becomes chaos.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The strong man is not the one who overcomes others by his strength, but the one who controls himself while in anger.” (Bukhari, Hadith 6114)
This control taqwā is the root of responsibility. Imam Al-Ghazali (1105) in Ihya Ulum al-Din wrote that the purification of the soul (tazkiyah al-nafs) is the foundation of all reform. A responsible man disciplines his desires, guards his words, and acts with sincerity, even when no one is watching.
We live in an era of temptation — social media, materialism, and moral relativism challenge our values. But men of faith must rise above these influences and remember that Allah is Al-Raqīb — the Ever-Watchful. Spiritual accountability anchors moral behaviour.
8. Emotional and psychological responsibility
Responsibility also includes taking care of one’s mental and emotional well-being. Many men suffer silently under the burden of expectation — believing that showing emotion is weakness.
Yet, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم shed tears, expressed compassion, and sought counsel.
Psychologist Aaron Beck (1976) in Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders emphasised that emotional maturity begins with self-awareness, recognising one’s feelings, and managing them constructively.
Group counselling sessions like this are essential; they help men share, heal, and grow together. No man should walk alone; strength is not isolation, but the courage to seek support. Let us normalise counselling, mentorship, and brotherhood among men. For in unity, we find healing; in shared wisdom, we find growth.
9. The five questions of accountability
The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The feet of the son of Adam shall not move on the Day of Resurrection before he is asked about five things:
- His life — how he lived it;
- His youth — how he used it;
- His wealth — how he earned it and how he spent it;
- His knowledge — how he acted upon it.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2416; also reported in al-Darimi)
This hadith captures the essence of personal accountability — the cornerstone of responsibility in Islam. It reminds every believer that every blessing carries a duty, and every stage of life demands conscious action.
Let’s break it down:
- “His life — how he lived it”
Life is a divine trust (amānah). A responsible man lives with purpose, not pleasure as his goal. He invests his time in doing good, serving others, and seeking Allah’s pleasure. - “His youth — how he used it”
Youth is the most energetic and creative phase — and thus the most accountable. As Ibn al-Qayyim noted in Madarij al-Salikin, “The strength of youth is a blessing, and blessings invite responsibility.” Men must use their youth to build character, gain knowledge, and resist destructive habits. - “His wealth — how he earned it and how he spent it”
Financial integrity is a key part of manhood. Islam demands transparency, fairness, and generosity. The Qur’an warns against wastefulness: “Indeed, the wasteful are brothers of the devils.” (Qur’an 17:27) A responsible man earns lawfully, gives in charity, and spends wisely. - “His knowledge — how he acted upon it”
Knowledge is meaningless if not practiced. Imam Al-Ghazali wrote that knowledge without action is a burden, not a blessing. A responsible man translates his learning into character, leadership, and service.
This Hadith teaches that responsibility in Islam is total and it covers time, energy, wealth, and knowledge. It’s not only about what we achieve, but how we live, how we give, and how we grow.
10. Summary
Responsibility, therefore, is not a single act but a lifestyle — one that touches every sphere of life:
- Educational responsibility empowers us to think and serve.
- Marital and family responsibility keeps our homes strong.
- Environmental responsibility safeguards our future.
- Civic responsibility builds our nation.
- Moral and spiritual responsibility sustains our integrity.
- Emotional responsibility maintains our well-being.
A responsible man is thus an educated mind, a loving heart, a disciplined spirit, and a servant leader. He is not perfect, but he is purposeful.
11. Conclusion
My brothers, as we look toward the future, let us remember the divine reminder:
“The believers, men and women, are protectors of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.” (Qur’an 9:71)
Our communities are counting on us — our sisters, mothers, and children look to us for leadership and example. Let us not disappoint them. When we build responsible men today, we build a Ghana that is peaceful, prosperous, and principled.
Let us be men of knowledge and humility, strength and compassion, faith and fairness. And may Allah grant us the wisdom to lead ourselves before we lead others. Āmīn.
Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai, Kpone Katmanso Municipal Chief Imam, governance expert and certified counselor.
By Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai
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Today, I focus on Ghanaian/African migrants in Finland and their mental health. Mental health is an important subject and a huge problem in the world.
According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), brain health is the state of brain functioning across cognitive, sensory, social-emotional, behavioural and motor domains, allowing a person to realise their full potential over the life course, irrespective of the presence or absence of disorders.
Studies have shown that maternal and paternal distress are associated with reduced linear growth of their children. I recently participated in a seminar on mental health among (African) migrants in Finland. We all wondered about the prevalence or incidence of mental illness among migrants in Finland. It will be interesting to know the statistics about mental illness among migrants in Finland.
Mental health in Finland
In Finland, studies have examined how behavioural risk factors mediate the effects of childhood disadvantage on adult psychological distress. A correlation is shown between parent and infant psychotherapy on maternal mental health and psychological functioning and children’s welfare.
There are also research and other reports of social child welfare interventions where at times children are even taken away (child removals) from the parent or parents for safe keeping.
Experts say it is important how parents plan their leaves in order to renew or rebuild their mental strength to be able to take good care of their kids.
Anyway, studies are limited about parent-child psychological distress and situations where children are taken away from their parents among minorities, such as African migrants. It will be interesting to know the figures and other aspects of mental health issues among the migrant group(s) in Finland.
Health and migrant vulnerability
Health experts point out that migrant communities can be highly vulnerable to diseases, especially certain infectious diseases. Experts say those who came to Finland as refugees or asylum seekers and their family members are often in a more vulnerable position in terms of their health (see www.thl.fi).
Research and media reports have shown in many countries that there are structural or societal/cultural factors that result in quite high rates of infection or ill-health among migrants, when compared to the majority population.
It is suggested that for example language barrier, lack of information, the nature of the work of migrants in professions where working from home is not possible (for example during the Covid-19 pandemic), not accessing healthcare, etc. can present some of the factors for migrants’ vulnerability to diseases and infections.
Childhood disadvantage
Information about the issue. Such a situation was much evidenced to reduce stress and anxiety during the coronavirus situation.
Thus, these associations and institutions become networks that create an important social capital as well as outlets for sharing and gaining information or knowledge.
Finland is committed to the integration of migrants into the Finnish society, as I keep pointing out. A number of research studies from surveys and other in-depth enquiries have shown a trend of increasing efforts to integrate African and other migrants into the Finnish society.
As the Finnish Institute for Health and Welfare (THL) has pointed out, health and wellbeing are an important part of integration of immigrants in Finland (see www.thl.fi).
There have been studies on whether behavioural risk factors mediate the effects of childhood disadvantage on adult psychological distress and child welfare intervention by social services. Unhealthy behaviours and their associations with subsequent sickness among Finnish young and early midlife employees have been studied.
When it comes to this subject and/or the effect of adult psychological distress on children’s wellbeing among African migrants in Finland, there is limited knowledge.
We should hope for more information to augment understandings about adult psychological distress and effect on children’s wellbeing among African migrants in order to inform policy directions.
Such studies will help to create awareness among migrants in Finland about their mental health, its effect on them and their children’s wellbeing, as well as where to seek therapy.
Migrant associations, social networks, and information
Migrants associations are already doing much to help in education on mental health and have become important points for securing. Public agencies, migrant associations and other non-governmental organisations (NGOs) in Finland have been publishing information to help educate people about their health and wellbeing.
Generally, migrant associations formally create awareness among their members and other migrants usually in collaboration with some Finnish institutions, and are thus an important tool for several migrants to be positively active and to get their interests and claims heard.
As I wrote previously, the role of migrant associations acting as bridge-builders for the integration and inclusion of migrants through participation in the decision making process and by acting as a representative voice is highly appreciated in Finland. Thank you!
By Perpetual Crentsil
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