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Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 4)
Sarah and her two younger brothers attended Research School Complex, a fine school run by the research institutions in the Eastern Region. A brilliant child, she enjoyed school, and was always around the top of her class.
She loved her parents. Her mother made sure they lacked nothing. Her father was the easy going type. He was generally good to them, but he hardly spent much time at home. Her major problem was her parents’ continuous quarrels.
During those sessions, the children would recoil in front of the TV in their room till they fell asleep. Very often, they would wake up to hear them quarrelling. Up till she reached junior high, she and her siblings managed to live with the situation. But later on she would hear them exchange threats and insults which confused and scared her.
‘You are a useless man. You are lazy and incompetent at work. Your boss says he’s tired of complaining. He says if you don’t change you could lose your job’.
‘And you are a heartless and selfish woman. You only care about money and yourself. Why should you go and discuss me with my boss? ‘
‘You dare call me heartless and selfish, when I feed and clothe you and your children? You lazy man. Can you survive for a month if I don’t feed you? When was the last time you took care of any of your children’s expenses, school fees, food, clothing or books?’
‘At the very least I provided you with a home and respectability. Without me you would be living in shame. You would have been exposed for who you really are’.
‘If you dare repeat that brainless sentence, I will teach you a lesson you would never forget’.
‘There you go. Threats! Threats! Why are you always threatening me?’
‘I asked you to repeat that stupid statement once, and see what happens’.
‘Okay. I’m sorry. Look, this is not good for the kids. I’m going to town. Will be right back’. With that he dashed out of the door, into his car and noisily sped off.
Although Sarah usually excelled in academics, the turmoil at home was having an impact on her. The teachers noticed that she was withdrawn, and would sometimes break into tears with little or no provocation.
Ms Odame, an elderly English teacher, took an interest in her and, after Sarah had told her about the problems she was facing at home, spent any free time she got encouraging her. She realised that there was a deep seated problem behind the symptoms she was displaying. One morning, she took her out for lunch, and asked her the hard question.
‘Sarah, for some time now, I’ve been trying to encourage you, because you are a brilliant girl, even though you may be facing a few problems at home. Now Sarah, I want to do my best to help you, but I want you to try and tell me exactly what the problem is at home, and I will do my best to help you. I promise you that I won’t discuss this with your parents’. Without much hesitation she unburdened herself of the load she had been carrying.
‘My parents are always quarrelling. Most of the time it is about money. Mummy keeps saying that Daddy doesn’t give her money, but spends his money on going out with friends and girls.
She also says that he is not serious with his work, so he’s not gaining any promotion. But Daddy sometimes says something which infuriates Mummy. He says he has kept her secret and given her respect, so she should stop disturbing her.
Mummy would then say that the whole issue was Daddy’s making, that if she mentioned it again she would move us out and leave him destitute. He would usually get scared, and apologised. There would be peace for some time, then it would happen again’.
‘I see. I see. Now, Sarah, I want you to trust me on this. I will do my best to help you. Do your best not to dwell on this. Come to me whenever you need any help, but we will solve the problem very soon’.
Through her enquiries, she learnt that Madam Gladys Ababio taught for a while at Aboso Senior High School. She made further enquiries at the GES, and learnt that the current headmaster of the school had been teaching there for close to twenty years. She called him and booked an appointment, explaining that she wanted to make an enquiry about an issue that would help a student of hers who was currently troubled.
‘Thanks for agreeing to see me’, she said after she had been welcomed with a snack. ‘I will go straight to the point. I have a student in JHS three, a girl. She’s brilliant, but she’s troubled at home. She confided in me that her parents have been quarrelling continually, and they seem to be hiding a secret. The mother was a catering teacher here in this school’.
‘I believe I have your assurance that you will handle this information with care, since it concerns a minor’.
‘You have my fullest assurance, madam
‘.
‘You are talking about Gladys and David, who were my colleagues. I know them, very well. They separated soon after marrying, and Gladys married one Simon. David was a very popular French teacher. In fact, the school’s playground is named after him.
He left for Germany as soon as the marriage broke down. He’s back, doing big business. He has been doing a lot for the school, but he prefers not to be given any publicity.
Now, let me come to the main issue that has brought you here from Koforidua. Not long after David had married Gladys and was living with her, Simon appeared from America, and spent some time in a hotel with her.
This happened again some months later. David got wind of this, and decided to end the marriage and leave town. Gladys and her relatives begged and begged, but he wouldn’t budge. Then, obviously with the intent of punishing him for rejecting her, Gladys came out and told Monsieur that the baby, Sarah, was not his. Indeed, she had told him that she would teach him a lesson.
David was shattered, but his parents advised him not to fight Gladys over the issue, because she was quite strong-headed. They told him that the child would come back to him eventually, if she was truly his. So he left town. And Simon married Gladys.
‘I see. So Sarah is not Simon’s child’.
‘No way. Listen, Sarah was conceived before Simon appeared from nowhere. This was known to everyone at Aboso, because David was very popular, a great guy. I don’t know how Gladys can live with herself, after what she did’.
‘I don’t know how to thank you. I will go back and do my best for the child, without causing much trouble’.
By Ekow de Heer
Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.
Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort.
The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding of these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing.
Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards.
Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding.
Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label.
Resource
• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486
Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.
WEBSITES:
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website
After two weeks of hectic activity up north, I drove to the Tamale airport, parked the car at the Civil Aviation car park as usual, paid the usual parking fee and boarded the plane for Accra.
Over the last two weeks, I had shuffled between three sites where work was close to completion.
One was a seed warehouse, where farmers would come and pick up good quality maize, sorghum and other planting material.
The other was a health facility for new mothers, where they were given basic training on good nutrition and small scale business.
And the third was a set of big boreholes for three farming communities.
The projects usually ran on schedule, but a good deal of time was spent building rapport with the local people, to ensure that they would be well patronised and maintained.
It was great to be working in a situation where one’s work was well appreciated. But it certainly involved a lot of work, and proactivity. And I made sure that I recorded updates online before going to bed in the evening.
When the plane took off, my mind shifted to issues in Accra, the big city. The young guys at my office had done some good work. They had secured five or six houses on a row in a good part of the city, and were close to securing the last.
When we got this property, unusually, Abena greeted them casually, and appeared to be comfortable in the guy’s company.
I was quite disappointed to hear that, because until the last few weeks, it seemed as if Abena and I were heading in a good direction. Apart from the affection I had for her, I liked her family. I decided to take it easy, and allow things to fall in whatever direction.
Normally I would take a taxi to her house from the airport, and pick her up to my place. This time I went to my sisters’ joint, where they sat by me while I enjoyed a drink and a good meal.
“So Little Brother,” Sister Beesiwa said, “what is it we are hearing about our wife-to-be?”
“When did you conclude that she was your wife-to-be? And what have you heard? I’ve only heard a couple of whispers. Ebo and Nana Kwame called to say that they have seen her in the company of—”
“Well said Little Brother,” Sister Baaba said. “By the way, Nana Kwame called an hour ago to ask if you had arrived because he could not reach you. Someone had told him that Jennifer had boasted to someone that she had connected Abena to a wealthy guy who would take care of her.”
I was beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.
“In that case,” Sister Beesiwa said, “you should be glad that Abena is out of your way. She is easily swayed. Anyone who would make a relationship decision based on a friend’s instigation lacks good sense. I hope the guy is as wealthy as they say?”
“Who gets wealthy running a supermarket chain in Ghana?” Sister Baaba said. “Our supermarkets sell mostly imported products. Look at the foreign exchange rate. And remember that Ghanaians buy second-hand shoes and clothes. Supermarkets are not good business here. Perhaps they are showing off that they are wealthy, but in reality they are not doing so well.”
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.”
She said that David Forson was only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her. And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. We would be able to sell all five houses to one big corporate customer, and we had already spoken to a property dealer who was trying to find a buyer in order to get a good commission.
That was going to be my biggest break. I had asked the boys to look for a large tract of land on the outskirts of the city where we could develop our own set of buildings, blocks of storey houses and upscale apartments. Things were going according to plan, and I was quietly excited. However, things were not going so well regarding my relationship with Abena.
My buddies Ebo and Nana Kwame had called to say that they met Abena and her friend Jennifer enjoying lunch with a guy, and Ebo believed that Jennifer was ‘promoting’ an affair between Jennifer and the guy. They were of the view that the promotion seemed to be going in the guy’s favour, because only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her.
And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“As I’ve already said, I will stop by her place, but I will mind my own business from now. Hey, let’s talk family. How are our parents? And my brothers-in-law? And my nephews and nieces? Why don’t we meet on Sunday? I’m going to drop my bags at my place, and go to see Mama and Dad.”
