Obaa Yaa
Many divorces frighten me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Reading about weddings which took place in the country, and ended up in divorces, send shivers down my spine.
It beats my imagination why two people who had pledged their love for each other in holy matrimony and in the presence of the church, will after a few months or years forget about the vows they took and seek divorce.
Such shocking incidents do not make one desire to marry in the first place. To some of us, marriage looks like an albatross on one’s neck and becomes difficult to remove.
A divorce case which occurred recently was one which involved a relative of mine. l am referring to a couple whose marriage was acclaimed one of the best in my community in recent times.
The couple had given better meaning to marriage and some people looked up to them as role models in the community. Therefore, their failure to sustain the marriage had sent bad signals to some of us who are contemplating marriage.
Ever since l heard about this incident, l have lost interest in marriage and would like to close the chapter on this aspect of my life.
Have l taken the right decision about marriage?
Sylvia, Tema.
Dear Sylvia,
It is always good to make enquiries and this offers you the opportunity to fully comprehend details of things.
Your observation could not be right because you can only infer after empirical evidence had been adduced to establish your assertion. You cannot take a few cases to conclude that majority of the weddings in your area have ended on the rocks, for which reason you should take a stance.
Secondly, one cannot conjecture what might have caused these divorces to take place.
We are created by God differently, and with unique gifts, and talents which were dispensed by the Giver of all good gifts.
In each of the cases, you would be surprised to discover different reasons which had caused these divorces to take place. So you have to reconsider your decision since two different marriages are not the same.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I wrote sometime back in 2024 to discuss an ordeal I went through. I contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when I was doing my national service. Initially, I thought it was a normal sickness, so I visited a nearby hospital for treatment. I still feel itching and pains in my manhood.
I began to worry about the whole situation. I wrote to you and you directed me to see a specialist. The doctor did what he could, but the disease still persists. I have also gone through a lab test which shows that there is nothing wrong with me. A few doctors and pharmacists I contacted claim it could be psychological.
There is a sore at the tip of my male organ, and I am disturbed. Not only do I find it difficult to urinate, but it gives me continual sharp waste pain. Currently, I’m not only going through serious physical pains but psychological, because I cannot concentrate on my job for five minutes. I have also been praying and fasting. Can this be spiritual?
Mawuli, Keta
Dear Mawuli,
I hope you are doing well. I will advise you to take your medication regularly. There is still hope for your situation. See a urologist at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital for assistance.
I cannot say if your condition is spiritual or not. However, do not stop praying to God. Your miracle may just be on the way.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I’m a lady in my late 30s who wants to give love a second chance, despite all the pain and scars love has caused me.
Tony was just a new staff my company recruited to work in my department. We became friends, and our friendship became stronger when we realised we were both of the same tribe. We fell madly in love, and dating each other was the best option. I got pregnant and less than a month later, we did our traditional wedding and later signed in court.
I found out that my husband, Tony, had a wife and a child in the United Kingdom (UK) when I was eight months pregnant and five months married. What should I do?
Patricia, North Kaneshie
My dear Patricia,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your pain. It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough experience with Tony.
First, let’s acknowledge your strength and resilience. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still standing. That says a lot about your character.
It sounds like Tony presented himself as a good man, and you believed him. You connected well and he seemed to have good family values, but it turns out he was hiding a big secret.
My advice to you is to take time to process your emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, hurt, and confused, but allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you thought you had.
You might want to consider seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group. Talking through your feelings can really help.
In terms of the next steps, you may consider getting legal advice to understand your rights and options. As a pregnant woman, you have certain rights, and it’s essential to prioritise your well-being and the baby’s well-being.
