Obaa Yaa
Many divorces frighten me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Reading about weddings which took place in the country, and ended up in divorces, send shivers down my spine.
It beats my imagination why two people who had pledged their love for each other in holy matrimony and in the presence of the church, will after a few months or years forget about the vows they took and seek divorce.
Such shocking incidents do not make one desire to marry in the first place. To some of us, marriage looks like an albatross on one’s neck and becomes difficult to remove.
A divorce case which occurred recently was one which involved a relative of mine. l am referring to a couple whose marriage was acclaimed one of the best in my community in recent times.
The couple had given better meaning to marriage and some people looked up to them as role models in the community. Therefore, their failure to sustain the marriage had sent bad signals to some of us who are contemplating marriage.
Ever since l heard about this incident, l have lost interest in marriage and would like to close the chapter on this aspect of my life.
Have l taken the right decision about marriage?
Sylvia, Tema.
Dear Sylvia,
It is always good to make enquiries and this offers you the opportunity to fully comprehend details of things.
Your observation could not be right because you can only infer after empirical evidence had been adduced to establish your assertion. You cannot take a few cases to conclude that majority of the weddings in your area have ended on the rocks, for which reason you should take a stance.
Secondly, one cannot conjecture what might have caused these divorces to take place.
We are created by God differently, and with unique gifts, and talents which were dispensed by the Giver of all good gifts.
In each of the cases, you would be surprised to discover different reasons which had caused these divorces to take place. So you have to reconsider your decision since two different marriages are not the same.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
