Features
Lady teachers and swollen bellies
When I was a kid I didn’t like female teachers. They would come at the beginning of the term all nice and dainty, but soon their bellies started growing for no apparent reason.
Their pretty faces will become contorted and distorted and they kept hoarding saliva in the mouth. I thought that was not very civil.
And when will the belly of Mrs stop growing out of proportion? I would wonder who was the bastard that inflicted Mrs with a balloon stomach. Yes the bastard! Who did he think he was?
Didn’t he know that Mrs couldn’t carry such a belly all by herself? And that she kept marking correct arithmetic work wrong?
I often got angry and went to my Dad to complain about the Mrs “She marked this answer wrong”.
I’d tell Papa, tearfully. “Bring it let’s see!
My Dad would look at the sum. “I think you are right,” he would say. “I wonder why she marked it wrong.”
“That woman, she is always dozing!” I’d tell my Papa. “This morning she tried to vomit, but nothing came. And half the time she is angry with everybody”.
“What might be the reason?”
“I think it is her belly. It is too large. Or is it the saliva in her mouth?”
I decided to ask Mrs why she was keeping saliva in her mouth.
The next morning I went to school and we were told that Mrs had gone on “maternity leave.” And what did that mean?
We were told that soon, she would be having a baby. Nonsense! How possibly could a baby as large as the one in Mrs stomach come out? Through which exit? They must be joking!
Sooner than expected, the class was informed that Mrs’ had delivered a bouncing baby boy. And so what? She was supposed to be in class teaching us English grammar not delivering bouncing babies.
Meanwhile, the male teacher who took over was quite different. We all noticed that contrary to expectation, his belly did not grow. At least not frontally or laterally. And he did not store saliva in his mouth. More so, he was arithmetically alert. The class was happy although he liked caning the pupils.
The man did not doze and he’d take us to PE and also teach us Christmas songs. He spoke decent English and marked the exercises on time. Then one morning he announced to us that a female trainee teacher would be coming to teach us for a while. She was from a training college. I wondered whether this one was also afflicted with a swollen belly.
PRETTY
She turned out to be a very young pretty daisy. I liked her! “My name is Miss Amoah,” she intoned. “I’ll be teaching you for the next few weeks.”
I looked at her belly. I needed to reassure myself that she was not encumbered with a ‘bouncing baby.’ My goodness! Or was it because she was Miss and not a Mrs? What was the difference anyway? “I hope you are all good boys and girls.”
“Yes Miss!” we shouted in alacrity.
“I don’t like boys who talk in class. They end up as gutter cleaners!”
We all laughed heartily and drummed on our desks. Certainly the Miss had a sense of humour in her head. How did she know that such boys ended in the gutter? And will they wear Wellington boots when doing the clean out?
“And girls who talk in class, do you know where they end up?” she asked.
“Yes!” we chorused.
“Who can tell me?”
“Farm!” one pupil said. “No!”
“In market selling tomato and garden eggs.”
“No!” said Miss Amoah.
“Hell!” (Laughter)
I raised my hand, I thought I knew this one.
“Yes you there!” Miss Amoah pointed at me.
“She’d end up with a swollen belly full of babies!”
The entire class convulsed into laughter. And it was Miss Amoah who laughed the most.
She couldn’t conjecture how I could come up with the idea of a distended belly containing babies just because a girl talked too much in class. But she realised upon a little bit of cogitation that there could be a link between talkative and babies.
DROPOUT
After all, isn’t it those who are idle talkers who aren’t serious with their academic work and end up getting pregnant and dropping out of school?
Last weekend, I watched it live on television when President Kufuor presented three cars to three lady teachers as the best teachers in Sikaman. I protested loudly. What have the male teachers been doing? Bearing babies?
My wife was overjoyed that female teachers were making a mark. But my daughter was a bit skeptical. “How were they adjudged the best?” she asked me.
“Ask your mother!”
This article was first published on Saturday, November 12, 2005
Merari Alomele’s
• Female teachers bellies starts growing for no apparent reason
Your Weekend Companion
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In a country like ours in which we are aware of our challenges, all that is required is focusing on strengthening our institutional processes by making them more robust and transparent. In this regard, investment in digitilisation must be prioritised since the human element to cut corners is inherent in the psyche of some people and therefore cannot be trusted to do the right things out of their own volition.
Enforcement of existing laws and regulations must be reviewed to see what is working, which ones have to be tweaked to be able to address current challenges, and those that have become obsolete and must be discarded.
One issue that needs to be given priority attention is remuneration. A former President is alleged to declare that we pretend to pay workers and they also pretend to work. This indeed sums up the quandary facing government after government. Workers’ salaries are crucial in the fight against corruption. A realistic living wage must be given to workers; otherwise, they will seek avenues to address their personal budget deficit.
On day one, what should engage the attention of government is Energy, making it available and affordable. The industrialisation agenda cannot be successfully executed without power that is readily available, reliable, and affordable. Solar energy must be factored in the quest for affordable and reliable power for industry.
The fuel sector issues must be urgently addressed so that it can impact positively on the transportation sector, which plays a key role in the supply of goods and services. The railway infrastructure plan linking places like Boankra Inland Port to prolong the lifespan of our roads and to fast track distribution of goods from the Capital City to the inland areas of the country should be a top priority item.
A well-structured system linking industry to academia must be quickly established to serve as a catalyst towards the industrialisation drive. Research findings from the universities must be channelled to captains of industry in a timely manner. Effective channels of communication should be established to facilitate shorter product-to-market times.
An effective mechanism for fishing out needy but talented children must be established, as well as a sponsorship package for talented individuals who are needed for certain critical areas of the economy — what I term critical investment in education.
Certain changes must be made in the constitution, particularly the appointment of the heads of certain constitutional bodies or institutions. This is to ensure that the Executive arm of government does not wield too much power to ensure accountability and checks and balances really work.
The Attorney General’s Office must be detached from the Executive arm of government. The Nolle Prosequi provision must also be amended to compel the Attorney General to give an explanation of why he or she is declining to prosecute a particular case or discontinue it. The provision that protects sitting Presidents from prosecution must also be reviewed.
The punishment for some of our laws needs a review. We must review the removal of CJ provision to ensure the independence of the Judiciary.
Above all, there must be a mindset of change, i.e., a paradigm shift from inability to capability. Inferiority complex must give way to a pacesetters mentality, and all will be well. God bless.
NB: KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
BY LAUD KISSI-MENSAH
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Features
The impact of emotional surgery and emotional elysium on neurological and neurosurgical procedures
Abstract
THIS comprehensive review aims to explore the impact of emotional surgery and emotional elysium on neurological and neurosurgical procedures. We examine the scientific literature on these approaches, including their definitions, theoretical frameworks, and applications. Our analysis highlights the potential benefits and risks of these approaches and discusses their implications for practice.
Introduction
Neurological and neurosurgical procedures are complex and delicate, requiring precision and accuracy to achieve optimal outcomes. Emotional surgery and emotional elysium are two innovative approaches that have the potential to enhance the success of these procedures. Emotional surgery involves the use of art and other creative techniques to promote relaxation and reduce stress, while emotional elysium focuses on cultivating positive emotions and promoting emotional well-being.
The Role of Emotional Surgery in Neurological and Neurosurgical Procedures
Emotional surgery has been shown to be effective in reducing anxiety and stress in patients undergoing neurological and neurosurgical procedures. By promoting relaxation and reducing stress, emotional surgery can help patients prepare for procedures, leading to improved outcomes and faster recovery times.
The Role of Emotional Elysium in Neurological and Neurosurgical Procedures
Emotional elysium has been shown to be effective in promoting emotional balance and resilience in patients undergoing neurological and neurosurgical procedures. By cultivating positive emotions and promoting emotional well-being, emotional elysium can help patients cope with the stress and trauma associated with these procedures, leading to improved outcomes and enhanced quality of life.
Benefits of Emotional Surgery and Emotional Elysium
The benefits of emotional surgery and emotional elysium in neurological and neurosurgical procedures are numerous. These approaches can:
- Reduce anxiety and stress: Emotional surgery and emotional elysium can help patients manage anxiety and stress, leading to improved outcomes and faster recovery times.
- Improve emotional regulation: Emotional surgery and emotional elysium can help patients regulate their emotions, leading to improved mental health and well-being.
- Enhance patient experience: Emotional surgery and emotional elysium can improve the patient experience, leading to increased satisfaction and improved outcomes.
Conclusion
In conclusion, emotional surgery and emotional elysium are two innovative approaches that have the potential to enhance the success of neurological and neurosurgical procedures. By reducing anxiety and stress, promoting emotional balance and resilience, and improving patient experience, these approaches can lead to improved outcomes and enhanced quality of life for patients undergoing these procedures.
Recommendations
- Further research is needed: More research is needed to fully understand the benefits and risks of emotional surgery and emotional elysium in neurological and neurosurgical procedures.
- Integration into practice: Emotional surgery and emotional elysium should be considered for integration into practice, as they may offer a valuable tool in the treatment of a range of neurological and neurosurgical conditions.
By exploring innovative approaches like emotional surgery and emotional elysium, we can improve patient outcomes and enhance the quality of life for individuals undergoing neurological and neurosurgical procedures.
BY ROBERT EKOW GRIMMOND-THOMPSON
